Time to go and get your own place
By RK Finnell
@irishidid (8688)
United States
August 29, 2009 4:39pm CST
I gave my 18 year old son his walking papers. It was hard to do but I've had enough of him refusing to contribute anything to the family. He wants everything his way, flatly refuses to help pay for living expenses, and takes everyone in the family for granted.
It's time for him to learn responsibility. That everything is not all about him. I gave him 3 months to get his finances in order and find a place. I've got to be tough because he is my youngest and I desperately want to baby him but I know I do him no good if I do.
I once said to my son, "If you grow up to hate me for how I raised you, but you become successful in life, then I know I've done my job right."
1 person likes this
3 responses
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
30 Aug 09
I am so proud of you! You have done the right thing! Yes, he may not understand now and it is hard for you but you have done a wonderful thing for him! I am living with the consequences of too soft parenting in this area and I don't want to get into details but just trust me...you did the right thing.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
29 Aug 09
Aw yes sometimes you have to give what they call tough love. My mom gave me that type of love and believe me I turned out great in the end. She gave me that ultematum because I was the same way and I was her baby as well. After getting a job and moving out on my own things gotten better and I learned a lot. And believe it or not I did not leave hating her. Ok maybe I did for like a month and then I found she honestly meant well. So don't think that you have done anything wrong by telling your child that, in the long run he will understand and he will thank you for it. I know I did.
@irishidid (8688)
• United States
30 Aug 09
Yeah, right now he's giving me the silent treatment. Comes and goes without a word. I'm sure he's trying to throw a guilt trip my way. Not buying it.
@DoriLentrich (1016)
• United States
13 Sep 09
It can be very hard to do what you did. You are a good parent to want what is best for your son despite your own desires. That is the balance I think most parents have to find.
Hopefully, this will help your son find his place in the world and instead of hating you for your "tough love," he will be on his knees in gratitude for the work you put in to make him a successful man.
I'm more familiar with your son's side of things, but I know that sometimes the hardest things in my life have made much better than the things where I skated. Mark Twain once said "When I was 18, my father knew nothing. By the time I was 21, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned."
