If the shoe fits....do you tell the truth?
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
August 30, 2009 10:22pm CST
Sorry for the misleading title, the question is actually about babies, or NON CUTE babies. Have you seen all those 'cute baby photo contests'? What about friends or acquaintances you have that have kids and they just really aren't adorable?
What do you say? Once upon a time I knew this couple, beautiful couple. When I saw the kid I had to practically cram my fist down my throat. It first occurred to me that maybe he wasn't their biological child but not so - and they were so enamored of the kid, even though he was pissy and fussy and extremely odd looking.
Most kids at LEAST look something like ONE of their parents, or if not a parent, another family member, such as a sibling, a grandparent, etc. I swear I cannot for the life of me figure out what happened to this kid! Dad was tall, dark, handsome, blah blah blah. Mom was petite, blonde, cute. Both were childhood sweethearts, friends before dating, always wanted kids. Kid had a big head, almost bald, what hair he had was almost the same color as his face, big ears, huge hands, feet... just totally awkward. Even some babies who are not cute at first get cute by the time they are a year old. This kid... not even close.
I have the feeling that everybody who encountered this couple had to bite their tongue....
3 people like this
9 responses
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
i have a cousin and his wife is really pretty. they are quite a pretty couple as i can say. but when they started to have kids, the kids are not as lovely looking like them. but we dont need to tell that to them anymore for they are the one who is saying it out loud. maybe they are saving humiliation i guess. they are the one who tell it already that their children is not as good looking as they are. but for me whats in a face? that is only physical. i've seen kids who are good looking but has traits that are not likeable, and there are kids who is not that cute but very intelligent.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
That is why I felt bad for this couple though. Their kid was not only odd looking, he was a brat. This was a circumstance where any stranger who saw them and then saw the kid would immediately be looking around for the parents, not realizing THEY were the parents. They were NICE people too... these parents. Obviously it didn't rub off on the kid.
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
i guess when a child is a brat you blame the to the parents. they did not mold their child to be a good and respectful child. how can a child be adorable if first he is a brat and at the same time is not that good looking as his/her own parents are. i have four children and i can not say that they all look good (beauty is in the eyes of the beholder) but i guess character counts more than just the face. 
1 person likes this
@EnglishTeaDuck (862)
• United States
31 Aug 09
oh dear, I probably shouldn't be but really, I'm laughing. Because isn't that one of the things that you are just NOT allowed to say out loud?
I, personally, was the prettiest baby (and modest with it!) but have frankly gone downhill since....lol
It fascinates me actually and I always try to see who the baby looks like, because I am adopted and I always wondered if I looked like my family (I traced them and it turns out I look a bit like my mother and a LOT like one of my brothers!)
But yes, I have seen babies, watched everyone cooing, looked at the little mite and frankly, had to lie. I know, I'm going to hell, I know...
But I do believe that a parent of a newborn SHOULD look at their offspring and believe them to be the most perfect thing in all creation. Every baby should know Mommy thinks they're beautiful!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
1 Sep 09
This brings to mind that there are probably lots of things we are not really supposed to say, yet people think it, don't they? LOL! At least nobody realizes what you're thinking if you don't say it - unless you look like you just ate a lemon and your best friend is standing next to you laughing her @ss off...!
How neat - I'm adopted too but the only person I know who looks like me at all is my daughter. Amazingly enough, many people have said that I look like so and so that they know blah blah blah but I don't know where these people are hiding, I have never met anybody that looks like me. I'm sure that I look like somebody but really, who knows.
As far as our children, or children in general, they are beautiful because we love them and however they came to us, they are ours. We don't love them BECAUSE they are beautiful.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
31 Aug 09
We once had some neighbors that were pretty homely adults and they had very homely babies but as those girls grew up they were beautiful. All babies are beautiful to the parents. I personally believe that all babies are cute, even the homely ones. I even thought the youtube baby was funny. I love to see other peoples babies.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
1 Sep 09
You know, part of the cuteness of babies is simply that they are babies, I agree. I guess too that it would be better to be attractive as you grow up too, not just as a baby. Then you'd face the same syndrome as child stars do - lots of attention when they're young, then when they grow up, perhaps a has-been because they can't seem to shake the 'child star' tag.
When I watched that video I thought it would be cute because I DO like babies. I just could not listen to that in the car and think it was entertaining after 30 seconds.
1 person likes this
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
31 Aug 09
Parents have to face facts, not all babies are cute. Some babies are just downright ugly. You can't say anything of course, you just smile, and say...."oooohh what a darling". You don't say anything about his/her looks. You're right, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
1 person likes this
I wish MY baby had done that....
(parent beams)
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
31 Aug 09
If I see a baby that's cute, I tell the parents their baby's cute. If the baby isn't, I say something else....maybe how big/small they are for their age, pretty eyes, attentive, whatever positive aspect that the baby has. Sometimes I feel 'let off the hook' when other people are around saying how cute the baby is....then I can just shake my head and nod...
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
1 Sep 09
I think this is the sole time I have ever had this much of a problem. In most cases, I WOULD focus on something else, and also most of the time, a babby is dressed cute so sometimes I remark on where they did their shopping. Baby clothing is sometimes a big topic among parents.
I remember one incident of the 'shake head and nod' because about four of us did it... just agreeing with the mom, but later the four of us had a little discussion about how we couldn't believe we had done that. In public it's hard, especially when it's someone you just met or don't know that well at all, and you don't want to hurt or upset the other person because you're trying to get to know them - ie they are part of a local group you belong to and they are new, etc etc. How's that for tact? LOL!
@nonersays (3344)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Some babies do start off really ugly, and it will take a while before they come into their own and start looking like anything but wrinkly little miniature old people or something. This usually happens around toddler-hood, but sometimes doesn't happen until after they hit puberty. -grin- Maybe as he grows he'll turn out more like his parents. In the meantime, you don't have to gush about how cute he is, but I wouldn't recommend telling them the opposite.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Yeah, he SO wasn't cute. I remember telling my best friend one time when all of the kids were driving us crazy that it's a good thing they're cute or parents would just kill them all - and then the thought occurred to me that maybe they aren't all cute.... so good thing some parents have more patience than others!
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
31 Aug 09
In all fairness, I am Afro-American so I may get a little more leeway than other cultures or kinds of women. The answer is YES! Black people will tell you about yourself, your children, and your whole famdamily! We are the people who coined the phrase "he/she is funny lookin', funny built, and his mama dress him funny!" but we don't normally take exception to comments or observations regardless of who you may be, or about whom we are talking. It is normally taken with good humor on the part of the parent being ribbed and normally they tend to give it back to you as well as you give it to them, so there are no hard feelings. The reason this tack works is because there are no perfect people, or perfect babies. There is some feature or behavior that can be held up to ridicule and scorn in every human being.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
LOL! It's actually kind of nice when as a group, everybody can laugh about stuff like that, but for the most part, people I know would take immediate offense, even if it was true and their kid was funny looking. I really felt bad for this couple though, I wish I had had a picture of the kid.
@lilaclady (28206)
• Australia
31 Aug 09
I was brought up to keep my mouth shut unless I have something nice or positive to say in circumstances like that...I think all babies are cute to some extent, I love their pudgy little hands and innocent little faces...but I guess they are all beautiful in the eyes of their parents...
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
LOL! One of my friends was recently showing me baby pictures of her kids. She says and I quote 'oh my gosh, they were such ugly newborns! S and I just didn't know what to think. Thank goodness they are cute now lol'
When our daughter was a newborn, she didn't look like either of us. After we got home from the hospital and she wasn't so red, she started to look cuter lol.
I do bite my tongue but if a parent makes comments or jokes themselves, I will concede it it's true.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Well I've never had this experience personally...uh, thank goodness so never had to lie about telling the parents what an adorable baby they have. But for awhile there is one "popular" Youtube video that my different friends have been emailing to me and everyone seems to think the baby is adorable...gag me with a spoon..please...here's the video
(Warning: NOT a referral link but to a Youtube video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLX7rArnKvY&feature=related
after a few seconds I just want to cram a sock down the kids throat--how can those parents think that's "cute"???
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Ugh that baby is annoying. I dont' think it's adorable or cute at all. Even my daughter - who does sound cute - gets ANNOYING when she won't stop talking! I always think about how we couldn't wait to hear her little voice and what she would sound like, but that doesn't mean we want to hear her little voice at 10 pm when she was supposed to be sleeping!
