Can You really Forgive Your Spouse After She/He hurts You???

You have to let the past go. Of course, this is easier said than done. But if you keep living with memories of the past hurts, you will never be able to move on and the situation can not become any better period.

In my opinion,you can always forgive but never forget.Harsh but true c; you can forgive the person easier than forgetting what theyve done,especially when trust is broken.You will always have doubts about that person.But if you really love them,time will eventually blur your mem0ry so that you can trust again c:

Would you believe if I say that "what you do not know won't hurt you." Anyway, if you really love a person you will have to forgive and forget.

yes,it may be too hard to forgive but you have to forgive because it is the commandment of God. One thing is this, if you refuse to forgive and forget you are the one that will probably go thru the fire of unforgiveness and probably have so many disturbances health wise. Hence, pray that the holy Spirit should help you to forgive your husband

I recall my husband when I see your post. He also cheat on me many times.and the same to you,I argued hard everytime.but,I found the quarrels cann't solve the problem between us .the relationgship of us was damadged a lot .the beauty and romatic is gone.It's so terrible for lovers. From now on,I learnt how to forget---forget the sad thing gradully! when I learnt forgeting I found my husband may be back. listening your word, I hope you can learn forget in some ways .Don't break your marriage for it .all of us have privaciy.Do you have? If he don't want you konw.why you must ask. the excessive suspicion is not a good thing I thought!Happy every day! we are young!

well, for me it depends on what lies he told me.. if it's too heavy to forgive then i'll ask space from him to think and cool down.. talk to him seriously like making him understand that not all the time you have patience to forgive him.. teach him a lesson he will never forget...

It takes time. Just saying sorry isn't enough. Showing that you can be trusted again by not lying any more is the only way to regain trust. Thing is, if you want to stay together with him, and assuming he is being honest with you now, eventually you have to find a way to let it go. If he is making his best effort and is being honest with you, you need to stop throwing it in his face. How much time has passed?

I'm kind of torn by that question. I guess it would depend on how strong/secure your marriage is, is he the type that hurts you on a regular basis, or was it a random thing? While I think it is possible to forgive, I think the harder part is the forgetting part....I think as long as you're having open communication, honesty, trust, faith, then the relationship has a chance. Since you've been having these trust issues with your husband and are having a difficult time getting past it, have you two thought of maybe going to a counselor, just for a few sessions maybe to get a new perspective on it? Maybe worth a try.

That is really hard! When my husband and I argue with something, i cant seem to forget that easily even though we already forgave each other. And I tend to bring out all those issues again when we get into an argument. Well its difficult since for you it was trust issue. Its hard to bring trust back. I think you should tell your husband your still struggling about what happened before and that the issue keeps coming back. So he could at least help you by doing hid part and making sure that he would never ruin the trust again.

I also do not like the fact that my partner lies to me but what really irritates me is the fact that he hides from me, I tell him everything and he hardly says his part so I gets very angry about it especially when I cometo learn it from other sources so now you can imagine how angry I am when he does like this, then simply I do not feel to talk to me and when he apologises many time then only I can talk to him politely again.

You will always love to forgive your spouse as you love her dearly but getting to trust her is a difficult thing.She has done something which has hurt you and you will always remain apprehensive if it will be repeated in future or not.

We might always keep the thought that once he lies he would lie forever . That might be the main reason for you hard to forgive from the bottom of your heart. Just truly forgive him and forget all these . Move on , baby. It's too tiring to have doubts on your husband . You've got to trust him again if you still want to stay with him. If you cann't trust him anymore then no meaning to be together . You've got a lifetime to spend together and please cherish.

I guess it depends on what he has done. Cheating would be my deal-breaker. Other things I could deal with, but if he cheats on me... I don't know...I have to leave. So i guess if my boyfriend cheats on me, i have to really, really, really, really love him to be able to get that past. How to forgive and regain the trust? Well, time helps a lot.

Hello, riani. Trust is precious, indeed, and when it's lost it's hard to gain it back. Generally, it doesn't happen. It's quite normally for you to feel constantly the need to check him, you're afraid it will occur again and you can't stop thinking about it. It's not impossible to change that, but it depends more on him than on you. I sincerely believe that if he will tell you only the truth from now on, you'll see him as you did once. Here is about his true intention: if he wants you back, he'll do anything good just to obtain this. However, sometimes people as much as they would want to, they aren't capable of changing for real, they continue to do mistakes, even though they know how much it will cost them. And it's not because they don't love, they even feel sorry for doing it...but it's just their nature. You either can accept that and move on or give up. That it's the most difficult thing to do. I hope you'll somehow resolve your problem, if there's will anything is possible. I wanted to mention also another aspect: I once knew this woman who had a bad, bad husband. Not only that he beatead her badly, he cheated her, he liked to drink etc etc. Well, instead of leaving him like others did, this woman remained with him until the end...Some may say that is a sad thing, which actually is, while others can sustain that this is a wonderful act of devotion and love. No matter how you put it, there will always be somebody that will be hurt.

So far I can. Just a while ago we had a fight but we're okay now. We fight on minor stuff like I have more time in front of computer than give him time. Then he will tell me things that will hurt my feelings and I will also tell him things that will hurt his feelings. After we cool down and have a talk, we are okay again. If the time comes when my partner will hurt me due to infidelity or something like that, I don't know if I can still forgive him though.

riani2009 hi it is hard to forgive thats so true and he sounds like he wants to keep your relationship good. What I think I would do is get yourself and your husband to a marriage counselor'and tell this person that you need help on forgiving your husband'and how can he regain your trust.

You say this was a 'long time ago'. When you forgive someone, you never forget it, but you should let it go and not bring it up again. If you haven't caught him doing it again, more than likely he learned his lesson. And I am sure it bothers him that, although you said you forgave him, you still question him. That is not trusting him like your forgiveness made it seem you would do. Yes, it does take awhile to trust someone again after they've hurt you, but if it's been a very long time, you should have found a way to trust him by now. You are only going to hurt your relationship if you continue to make him feel as though you'll never trust him again.

You know my friend. It is really hard to believe again if found your partner cheating you or done something to hurt you. But you should accept the facts that we are all human and sometimes committed a mistake. As I read you stories. You hardly accept the thing your partner did to you. I think that is not a good thing to keep the pain in your heart because that will trigger you also to do something to revenge what your partner did to you. It's not good if that happen. Because it is not good to do the same to feel your partner on how you felt and or on how being cheated or hurt? This is not ease the problem but it will worst it. What you need to is to accept with full heart and no hurt feelings again. You must insert in your mind that is only a mistake and not repeated again. Consider love not anger...Just pray and ask for the help to clear your minds in all doubt to your partner... I hope my share is giving you a clear concept on this topics if this is your stories. Have a nice day!

The phrase "forgive and forget" may be great in concept, but near impossible in practice. Just because you forgave him and want to continue the relationship, doesn't mean his actions didn't have a lasting impact. I think sometimes we feel that if we apologize and it is accepted, then everything goes back to the way it was before we messed up, but that just isn't the case. There are still consequences and effects of the decisions we make whether we regret them or not.

When someone you love hurts people do not understand it is not only a trust issue, it is a respect issue. When your love one has done something to you they have disrespected you. They have to earn your respect back to get your trust. These two components go hand in hand. You cannot trust someone without respecting them and vice versa. Your regain the trust by breaking down the situation. Why did he lie? Was it because he was cheating? or Was it something else that can be fixed a little easier? People lie for different reasons. Even though he has said he is sorry it does not take away the pain of his actions. You need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. If you keep questioning him it is going to make him feel you are lying to him about forgiveness. Then that does not make you no better than him. I hope you see my point. You do not want him mad at you over the same issue. I hope this helps.