How Did It Feel To Reach The Grand Young Age Of 40?

@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
August 31, 2009 11:27am CST
I have to confess that my 30s haven't been the most happiest of my life, diagnozed with depression and BPD, two disastrous long term relationships, losing my job and losing my home and still reaping the consequences of what has happened. So I hope for a brighter tomorrow and I wonder as I am close to hitting 40, in just two years I will reach the big 4 - 0 they say that life begins at 40, but does it? For my 40th I have a couple of ideas to celebrate it, either a weekend at a health spa being totally pampered, massaged, and spoilt, OR a long weekend in Amsterdam (obviously to look at tulips!) But what I want to know how did you feel if you are 40+ now at reaching 40? Was it scary, was it quite liberating, did you dread your 40s or did you welcome them? Did you have more fun when you reached your 40s more than you did when you hit the 30s? Do you think life gets better when you reach your 40s or do you think it's all going downhill fast and life actually starts to get worse? Does it depend on how you see yourself and what you have done in life And did you have a big party or did you treat yourself when you hit 40? So being 40, Fun or Frightening?
7 people like this
18 responses
• United States
1 Sep 09
40 was worse than reaching 30, 50 wasn't all that bad, but when I reach 60, I think I will hop in bed and stay there...that's when I will really be depressed. It's when you have passed the half way mark, that you look back at your life, and realize what you have accomplished or not accomplished in your life time. It's scarey to think that we may leave this earth without having made some kind of good impact in this world. I want to be remembered for something, and at 50 you don't have much time left.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
2 Sep 09
At the moment dear friend not wanting to go back to bed as soon as I have woken up and had breakfast is a positive step, I feel so drained lately, lethargic on top of everything else, oh boy! But at least I have the Winter to look forward to, the Summer months drain me something chronic
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
Sometimes I wonder how I've managed to get to the age I am, so I guess it's true what they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I hated hitting 30, mind you I haven't really enjoyed my 30s, battling against depression constantly and coping with BPD. So I really hope that my 40s will see a turnaround and I can finally beat depression once and for all and start achieving things that I felt were impossible before.
• United States
2 Sep 09
As long as you keep trying to have a positive outlook for the future, you will make it. If you do something different each day, something little but different than what you have been doing...it may just get addicting, and will encourage you to do more. Believe me, I can easily get depressed and want to do nothing. But each morning, I write down what I want to do each day, and I force myself out of my chair, get dressed, and begin with the first thing on my list. Before I know it, I am anxious to get the whole list down, come home and make another list for the next day. The hardest part is getting up of the chair, and getting dressed...once I've done that, the rest seems to be a little easier.
@derek_a (10874)
2 Sep 09
Well 40 has come and gone for me and my 40s didn't really feel a lot different to my 30s. I celebrated my 50th more than my 40th because then, I was noticing some differences, like grey hair appearing and having aches and pains weren't there before. The way I view the world though hasn't changed at all, and even now I will tackle jobs in the same way as I always did. For instance, I have just finished taking 6 feet off the top of our Leylandii hedge of about 50 trees. About 3 years ago I had a heart attack, because of a genetic tendency to form blood clots and one got lodged in my heart. I was taken into hospital, given a clot buster and sent home again. For about a hour or so, I felt depressed thinking that this is it for me now - old age. But then I thought to myself, only if I believe it go be. And now I have returned to my old ways, but not eating so much fatty foods. So my 60s now.. I find it weird to think that I've got here, but that is only a few moments, and then I am back again to my old childish self. It's only a number after all. If we weren't educated, we wouldn't know how old we are.. - Derek
1 person likes this
• Australia
3 Sep 09
How did I feel turning 40? Wow! That is testing my memory. Turning 30 made me feel old. My fifth son was born just before I turned 40 and no, I didn't feel old then. That was a wonderful year! The 40s were great, but I do remember thinking that 50 was OLD! Turning 50 was wonderful! Then I started to think that turning 60 was something I would never admit to. 60 was ancient! You think life begins at 40? For me, life began at 60! Being 60+ was fantastic - but I didn't want to reach 70! Now I am 73 and thoroughly enjoying my life. (80? - scary!) Age is nothing but a number. Age does not alter who I am. Enjoy your 40s - and your 50s etc
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
3 Sep 09
Thank you cloudwatcher, that is something to look forward to indeed. I think being alive, being able to enjoy life and gaining even more experience is the key.
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
2 Sep 09
I hope everything will start to be better for you when you reach the new time. Frankly, I don't concern about my age today since I have a child. Seeing his growth is already a pleasure thing, although it means that I am growing older at the same time. When I will be 40, then it means my son will graduate from primary school and it is time for him to study in the high school. Wow, it is something interesting to imagine that. I will forget my age anyway:) Time does fly so fast. I love China
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
2 Sep 09
My cousin has a two year old boy and he's grown so much in two years, when he reaches 16, I'll be 52, when you look at it like that it is kind of scary!
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
1 Sep 09
Hello wolfie. When reaching forty, it was frighting to me because I thought that I was on another stage of life. But gradually I don't complain about it any more, because life still goes on and I have to face it. In fact, my life after forty gets improved based on my personal experience in my work and such. So I start to really understand the meaning of "Life starts at forty". Now I feel happy to be forty and I will not complain any more when I reach next stage of life till I go to another world happily.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
Hi William, sometimes I wonder why I am still going, it's been a tough decade for me, but I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I do hope that my 40s will bring a spell of fortune and happiness again.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
1 Sep 09
For the most part, I really have not minded growing older. It has never been something that I've worried about, stressed about or even given much deep thought to. When I hit 50, my girls gave me a huge surprise party and it did kind of hit me for a moment....Wow! I am getting old. But it's all good. It is going to happen regardless of what we feel about it so I think it is best to just accept it and make the best of it.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
With age comes experience so they say, well I hope my 40s brings me happiness because I think I have been lacking that for some time now. I also want freedom and independence so I will be striving towards that.
@ibuemma (2953)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Talking about Amsterdam, you sounds like my hubby. I got an aunt live half haour from Amsterdam, and the last couple years, he keep bugging me in planning to see those TULIPS...hahaha.. Back on getting hit the big 4 and 0, is not that far for me too. I'm not sure. By the time I hit that age, I will have a new creatures call 'teenagers' at my house. That might little frightening , you know, you remember how you were when you are teen??? LOL... But I looking forward for the best, and prepare for the worse..
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 09
Well I am young, free and single, so I guess I can continue enjoying my freedom in Amsterdam. I think some see age as just a number, for me I see it as a milestone and a hope of a brighter future for me, things as they say can only get better ;0)
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Sep 09
Wolfie, my daring, I recently turned 55 and lemme tell ya, I've celebrated each and every one of them. I loved turning 40! I even loved turning 50. And yes, it sounds old, doesn't it? But it's not, Wolfie, it's not. I'm still so much of what I was when I was in my twenties, but much, much, much smarter and wiser and content? Oh my, I never new that such contentment existed. The only thing I ever wanted when I was a girl was to be married and be in love. I'm there. Take 40 by the horns, Wolfie. You only get better. And more confident. You might could use a bit of confidence, eh? You get comfortable within your own self, within your own skin. You may not know everything that you want out of life, but you sure as hell know what you don't want and that's a major plus. Happy birthday, whenever it is, Wolfie. Howl for me. xxxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
Nova! Nova! Nova! Where have you been, I have missed you! Are you ok, come here let me give you a big Wolfie hug xxxxxx I sure could use a bit of confidence by the bucket load although my self esteem needs a bomb under it to push it sky high because it's right low as per usual. So feeling comfortable about myself would be a prize that I would strive for completely! All I wanted when I was a boy to have my own place and live on my own, independence, freedom and happiness, not to much to ask for but right now they seem blo*dy elusive. Howls away xxxx
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Aug 09
Ask me how it felt to hit 50.lol 40 was kind of a non-event for me really. Now I have younger siblings and when the youngest hit 40, that kind of hit me funny. But when I hit 40 myself it was just another birthday.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 09
I guess the novelty of birthdays runs out when you hit 21. To me it's just another number, the only thing different I do for my birthday nowadays is not work LOL! I don't have parties or anything, mind you I never had parties when I was younger either, boring s*d ain't I LOL!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Aug 09
We usually just go out to dinner or whatever though I would have liked a party when I turned 50. But we do parties for the kids...
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
2 Sep 09
Wow - it's too far back to remember turning 40! I'll be 52 in a few weeks, so 40 is far behind - but I must say, I still feel the same inside as I did when I was 20, 30 or whatever. Yesterday was our 30th wedding anniversary - that's how quickly the past few decades have flown. I don't ever look on a new year with dread - age IS only a state of mind. Age blurs the vision so you can't see the wrinkles as clearly anyway, and the only difference I find is that the body is a bit more creaky and less flexible than it once was. Not frightening at all, Wolfie - embrace each new year and wear it with pride!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
2 Sep 09
Belated congrats on your 30th my friend! I console myself with the fact that with age comes experience.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
2 Sep 09
Thank you, Wolfie! Yes, experience can be a handy thing!
@Humbug25 (12540)
31 Aug 09
Hi there wolfie34 Well as you know I wouldn't know what it is like to reach 40 because, like you, I haven't quite made it yet. I too have just under 2 years to go. My mum was asking me what I wanted to do a few weeks ago for my 40th in fact. I just want to spend it with the people I love the most around me. We are planning a trip to DisneyLand Paris, just me, my kids and my mum, I don't need anyone else. My mum will babysit one night for me I guess so that I can celebrate with my friends but thats about it. I am not worried about hitting 40 it is something that is going to happen whether I want it to or not. If I am getting older then it means that my kids are too getting older and soon my eldest will be old enough to babysit, Mwahaahaahaahaa
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 09
Take that evil glint out of your eye, that is crafty, very very crafty! But I like it!!!!!! You are only as old as you feel and it's just a number and all the other cliches that I can't readily recall. Think of all the experience we have and all the experience that is out there waiting for us, ready to pounce, oooooer, mummy!
@sehlers (163)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I found turning 40 a lot easier than 30. For some reason in my mind 40 meant I didn't have to have so many expectations on how people saw me or what I did for a living. I just don't care anymore. Yes, I do have some health issues that I didn't have in my 30s such as a squeaky knee, but I'm also 100 pounds lighter and putting myself under less stress. To celebrate our 40th birthdays my friend and I took a road trip to a random small town that was having a town celebration that weekend. We didn't know anybody, it was a small redneck town, and we got totally trashed and danced with random guys. We also toured a winery, hit all kinds of antique shops and just wandered around several small towns poking around. It was a lot of fun.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 09
Wow that certainly did sound like fun! I hope by the time I reach 40 I would have thrown off a few more inhibitions, built up my self esteem and had the attitude that if someone didn't like me then s*d them! I don't care. A couple of years to get my head straight and to get my head sorted. Thanks for sharing your experience.
@gmode8 (60)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Hitting 40 was no big deal to me. I still looked younger than my age and felt confident even though my love life was a train wreck. I did not dread my 40's at all. In fact I found the love of my life at the age of 47. Unfortunatly we were together only 6 yrs. I lost him last year to cancer. I did not feel like I was going downhill till after I reached 50. But I am feeling a little better about that now that I am "out there" again and getting compliments on my looks. I really and truly do not think that our age makes us depressed. I think that it is what is going on in our lives that does it. And if it happens that we are not "spring chickens" anymore we tend to blame our depression on age rather than life experience. I have been very happy and very sad in my 50's and also when I was in my 40's. I have never been into big parties. All I can say is... I would love to be 40 anything again!!!! Hang in there and keep your heart open!!!!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 09
Firstly welcome to Mylot! I am truly sorry about your loss but thank you for sharing your experience, appreciated.
@gmode8 (60)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Thank you for welcoming me and for being so kind.
• China
1 Sep 09
how time flies!.it seems i just graduated from college only several weeks ago.now im alomst 40 years old.life is ok for me. i have a beutiful wife,stable job,happy marriage,smart son,gorgeous condo.all of that has millions of people been looking for.but im not satified with my career.the salary is a little bit low though i enjoy good benefits from the company.but i enjoy much free time during my work. that's y i got to know mylot.i come here to learn english and make friends.im not a successful man. but it doesn't prevent me from trying and doing my best at this age.i still believe life is full of hope and opportunities if u keep trying.as i know, u are experiencing ur tough times. hold on,buddy!time waits for no man.a heart with love for the world will stay young for ever!thank you for your good question,wolfie.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
I view my 40s as a big change, and I hope for the good, we all need something to look forward to and to keep us going. My big wish is to get my own place and have independence and freedom, I had it once then lost it, if I find it again I want to cling to it so tightly that I never lose it again or anyone takes it away from me. My 40s will mean singledom, but it's being single that keeps me sane. A very warm welcome to Mylot to you and thank you for your great encouraging response, appreciated.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Sep 09
Well, you need to remember now a days they say 40 is the New 30, etc. so most people should only rejoyce as life does get better with age. It just depends on how you let things get to you, and what you choose to do with each day as it comes as well. Right after I turned 40, I was not rejoycing as I ended up getting very sick and had to be on antibiotics for a severe infection for about 3 months, and then had other issues, but once everything got more back to normal life began and what a great 5 yrs. since turning 40 has been for me. You just need to realize sometimes things happen in our life for a reason, and if you only spend some time Trusting god and asking him for help and strength in time you will be looking back with Glee in your life as well.
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
31 Aug 09
40 is no biggie, I had a harder time with 30. I find the 40's are liberating. I'm old enough to know better, but, I'm still to young to care. I didn't celebrate mine in the style you're intending to, so, enjoy! Age is a number, I still feel like a teenager sometimes.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Aug 09
You are absolutely right, age is just a number!
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
1 Sep 09
it was just another day, like any other day. nothing different happened. age is just a number to me. it doesnt affect anything in my life. but i have always looked younger than my age anyway. so, i have never really felt my age to begin with. i just think of age as just another year to my journey in life. what will hold for me tomorrow?
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
I have to admit that I don't look my age and many have said I look younger than my 38 years which is a compliment. I think my health is important as you get older as your body starts to slow down etc... But you are right age is just a number, but I am still hoping that 40 will be a damn sight happier to me than being 30.
@mequan (141)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Actually I have not turned 40 yet. I am 35 and when I get that age I still want to be nice cool and as the young people call it now a days hip. I think being 40 is not that bad. Look at how beautiful Janet Jackson is and she has bypassed 40 years old but it's all on hat person.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Sep 09
But I do feel that famous people have the money to look good, not saying that Janet Jackson isn't beautiful because she is. Trouble is a lot of famous people over 40 tend to have plastic surgery to make them look young again.