my friend took it a wrong way

United States
September 1, 2009 9:31pm CST
A friend of mine never really work for his whole life ever since he finished high school. He always chasing his dream on making big business from the internet. I am not against his dream, but most of the time, he depends on his parent to support him. Now, I just want to kick in some sense with him, and urge him to find a real job, at the same time, pursuing his dream. He probably took it a wrong way, as I was laughing at him or despise him. I never meant that, I just want him to know that, he can find a job and earn some experience, at the same time, he can pursue his dream on making it big on his website. I thought I have nothing wrong to guide my friend to a right way.
3 people like this
25 responses
@janebeth (2033)
• Philippines
2 Sep 09
hi clorissa, you made a right thing, and maybe you just delivered it in the wrong time and wrong mood of your friend and took it in a wrong way.. we just can't understand some people around if you gave them a piece of advice, for them you are putting them down or you under estimates them and i hate that way of thinking.. if they could just broad their mind that we only thinks for the best of us all.. maybe you need to talk to him sincerely and let him understand what do you mean.. janebeth.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Sep 09
well, as a friend, I done what have to be done. I did him no harm, and I wasn't trying to make fun of him. For reality, he should share the burden of his parents, and not increasing it. I just want him to understand that, he could work and chasing his dream the same time.
• Indonesia
2 Sep 09
I have friend same with your friend. But I always support him and learn from him. Now, he success with business in the internet. Every month he get bigger than my salary work in factory. May be your friend have talent about internet.
• United States
2 Sep 09
Yeas, I believe him has that talent too. And I believe him that he could do much better too. With Internet, he constantly has great idea, and he trying to prove it. Persistence as you said, is his motto. So, I believe him to pursue his dream. But from what I saw his parents working so hard to support his dream, and big expenditure monthly, I just want him to know that if he not earning any from the internet, he should help his parent at least a little.
• Indonesia
2 Sep 09
yeah, you are the best friend. My condition may be same with your friend. My parents do hard for me to find money and give to me for finished my college. My parents want I work in famous factory in my country. But that is very different with my desire. I want to make own business. Because my parents not agree with my desire, so finally I follow my parent wishes. I am proud to be able satisfy my parents, but I sad because all my time use in factory, I can not play with my kids at home. When I go to factory, my kids still sleep . When I going home, my kids already sleep .... yeahhh that is bad. But that is life, we must survive
• India
2 Sep 09
There is nothing wrong in what you did.we cannot just sit when our friend is ruining his life with his wild dreams.But at the same time his reaction is natural.Imagine urself in his shoes.He might be under intense pressure from everyone saying him to find a job and not to waste time etc etc and there might be people who are laughing at his position and when you have said the same words he thought you to be the same like others.It is expected from him under these circumstaces.But you can do something that might change him.Always be at his side,try to convince him how easy it would be to make it big from internet if he has a stable job.There are many ppl who are earning money from net as well from a stable job.make him meet such ppl.It is difficult for a man to change all of a sudden but if you try finally he might understand you and change ultimately
• Indonesia
2 Sep 09
yes, I think internet is good too for make money. I have friend resign from real job (factory) and do job with internet. Now, He got a lot of money bigger than my salary
• United States
2 Sep 09
I would say that if this is bothering you and you are worried that he took it the wrong way, that you should call him or go see him in person, and let him know that you were not trying to hurt his feelings in any way. Just let him know that you were trying to make a helpful suggestion so that he does not have to live off his parents forever. Most people are not able to follow their "dream" because the real world sets in and they HAVE to do something else while they work on their dream on the side. There is nothing wrong with suggesting this to your friend, just let him know you are trying to help and that you are not judging him or making fun of him in any way.
• United States
2 Sep 09
that is right. Actually, We told him that we are not the kind that make fun on our good friends, we just want him to realize the reality. His parents work so hard to support him, and he should help his parents a little bit, at least get a part - time job to earn some income to support himself, not rely entirely on his parents.
@AKMEDIA2 (328)
• United States
14 Sep 09
A lot of times people can be less sensitive or overly sensitive but I've found that a quick apology, courteousness and kindness and friendship can overcome these smaller factors. Treat a friend with kindness and they can forgive a lot.
2 Sep 09
Maybe he might actually find that if he gets a job and concentrates on his business venture equallly then he may actually get somewhere. It could be that he is so into making it work that he is not making the right decisions in trying to force it rather than waiting for it to come naturally. This is what seems to be going on with my business partner Matt who I have been friends with for 12 years since our second year of Secondary/High School. He is so single minded in our Music promotion business that he does not see there's anything wrong with his business plan.
@grace118224 (1040)
• China
2 Sep 09
No you are not doing the wrong things at all . i think your friend would understand this totally in the end . Your friend becomes sensitive because he needs his parents to support him and his dream is hard to come true . Talk to him again to express your care for him . It's a pity that he would do you wrong that you are laughing at him . That would greatly affect your friendship. Just explain more and be more patient .
@syankee525 (6293)
• United States
2 Sep 09
well like with my friends i always keep it real, but it's his parnets should tell him ok enough is enough. even though you are right he does need to find a job and stop depending on his parents. and he can still chase his dreams, that's pretty much what i've been doing working and chasing my dreams.
@sredith (239)
• United States
2 Sep 09
You're absolutely right on this. It's important to hang on to your dreams and to pursue them to a certain extent, but once you become an adult you really have to divide your time and focus between your dreams and reality. I spent my whole life trying to be a famous singer or actor, and I ended up having to work really hard to make up for the time that I wasted putting all of my energy into my dreams. Now I have been able to find a balance, and I'm working as well as starring in an independent film. Tell your friend that your dreams can come true no matter what age you are, but you still need to deal with the fact that reality exists and that you have to find a happy medium.
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
2 Sep 09
hello clorissa123, Your friend should be thankful having a friend like you. You are just concern to his future for his parents will not be there for him forever. He should find a job wherein he can have a monthly income. His online job should be his sideline only or like a backup or additional income. You can not really earn big in online job, it's not enough to support yourself more so to a family. Just keep on reminding him that. Hope one day he will realize that you care and concern for him.
@marctiu (830)
• Philippines
2 Sep 09
I can say that your friend is really close minded and doesn't want any help from you. He disclose himself to the real world and create his own world that he feel he is capable of achieving. It was very nice of you to put some sense in him so that he will be aware of what's around him, reality.
• United States
2 Sep 09
a fren in need is a fren indeed
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
2 Sep 09
Hello Clorissa my dear, it's a terrible thing when a friend takes a remark the one wrong way as I know full well, as you rather upset me the other day yourself by miscontrsuing my friendliness in the wrong way. Now I don't even get notified anymore when you start one of your lovely discussions and I do so enjoy reading them my dear, you are really one of the best discussion writers here.
@seanbryan (351)
• United Arab Emirates
2 Sep 09
Hi there! You did the right thing, anyway he is your friend and your just concerned of him. If he got offended of the way you've told him talk him again personally and explain. Asking an apology would be the best opening sort of saying "I'm sorry if I've hurt you for suggesting that you may find a real job but I'm just trying to help you out". By saying so, your friend might see the sincere side of you. Cheers!
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
2 Sep 09
Talk to your friend first. Then leave it to him. If he cannot take the truth from a good friend like you, then he does not deserve you.
• India
2 Sep 09
You were correct in trying to drill some sense into him but I think you just rubbed it in the wrong way and more so coz I believe he himself knows that he’s not getting anywhere in particular. His parents must be telling him so and making him more insecure and irritated. I think you should just leave him to his dreams and hapless parents for the time being and in due course, he should understand that he is just wasting precious time and hand earned money of his parents. Of course if his parents are OK with it then why bother!
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
2 Sep 09
Usually its best not to try to push something on some one else. Even your friend. if he asks for advice then you could suggest to him but he still has to make up his own mind.
• China
2 Sep 09
Clorissa,you're a real friend,so nice,hope your friend can understand you and cheer up to go up.
@misisbau (317)
• Philippines
2 Sep 09
People often take it the wrong way even if you want to help them. My best advice is to just let him be. It is his life after all. One cannot be helped if they they don;t want to help themselves first.
@smileonstar (4012)
• United States
2 Sep 09
I know some people work as an independence business... by doing business with some companies and find customers on their own, or get someone to work under you and you get pay by his sell. I heard it kind of good business but you have to work hard to get someone under you... so you can earn more by them. I never try but I dont like that kind of business...