What are people really looking for?

@Humbug25 (12551)
September 2, 2009 8:54am CST
I joined a dating site about 3 months ago and have had no luck at all. Well I got messed around by 2 guys but I won't bore you with the details LOL I have changed my profile several times all of which have been me, no lies. I have done the jovial side of me, my serious side (that profile didn't last long!) and a minamalistic version as I don't want to bore anyone whilst reading it - still nothing!!! I have got some photos on there too, one of me, my kids and some pictures I have taken. What do you guys look for when browsing a dating site? Do you look at the picture first and decide whether you fancy the person before deciding if you are going to contact them or not? Or is it what they say about themselves that interests you?
1 person likes this
11 responses
• Philippines
3 Sep 09
i have since stopped communicating with people through the dating sites that i had become a member. it was because of one particular guy whom i thought would be him -- the answer to my prayers. but alas, i found out that he has told me so many lies and i always find these out. i now realize that it is not the best place to meet your lifetime partner. others are lucky to have found the right partners but this is only very scarce. me, i look at the picture first before deciding to contact them. i sometimes initiate chat. maybe that is so too in guys... they look at the picture first and read the profile.
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• United States
3 Sep 09
No offense, but determining to talk to a guy solely by his picture on his profile is very shallow. What if the guy is using a fake picture or what if he just happened to take a good picture just that one time and it looks very different in person. Also, the nice guys are usually the ones that are not the best looking. The best looking guys are the ones more prone to lying and cheating because they no they are good looking and will get more women in the long run. Its better to not base dating by the profile picture and actually take the time to read the profile information.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Sep 09
Hi ya moneymakingtoday I look at the picture of course but it is not what makes me decide to cantact them. I have looked at some really good looking guys before now but having read their profiles they have no been my cup of tea at all. I think it is nice to see what someone looks like but it certainly wouldn't be the reason for not contacting them. Thanks money
• Philippines
4 Sep 09
yes, i agree. pics draw our attention but should not trust these are their own. profiles too are faked. u will know the person as u converse with each other, a good observation and interaction contribute a lot in getting to know him more.
• Canada
3 Sep 09
Um, maybe you should give yourself a bit of a break. Why are you in such a hurry for? Why don't you remove your profile and just look closer to home. You don't know what you're going to find on the internet. Why don't you try your church or book store or home depot or the grocery store. Those are just a few suggestions, but just remember that maybe you don't need a man too.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Sep 09
Hi doglady112 Yeah I haven't bothered with it for about a month now and just thought that if anyone was interested then they will contact me. I am in no hurry, I just feel lonely from time to time and miss some sort of companionship. Thanks
• Canada
3 Sep 09
Yeah I know what you mean, I'm in a relationship and it's the loneliest I've ever been. I guess I was projecting some of what I'm going through on to you sorry.
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
3 Sep 09
I'm not really sure what people are looking for either. I've been on a couple sites. I get contacted a lot on tagged.com which is kind of like myspace i guess but i feel it more so for dating and meeting people in your area. i think myspace is more personal so i never use it for that.. but yeah, i check out a persons profile and see if we have anything in common, etc. i also look at the pictures if they have any but i have contacted people without pictures so looks don't really matter. i think a lot of people however on dating sites are looking for hookups and not anything real.. there are people who are but it seems like most of them are only after one thing. so its hard to find someone worth talking too sometimes.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Sep 09
Hi ya someroad I used to use the yahoo chatrooms when I first split from my husband but a lot of people on there are looking for one thing! You know this as soon as they ask if you have messenger and a camera within seconds of saying 'hi'. Thanks
@bunnybon7 (44210)
• Holiday, Florida
8 Sep 09
yes and it seems that sometimes they tell you they dont have a camera but want to see you once you say you have one i talked to a guy on myspace for a while and when he had the camera on supposedly the guy didnt even move and i realised it was a fake pic. he was trying to hook up for the nasty fun
@UK_Shree (3604)
2 Sep 09
I am sorry to hear you having no luck. I have a friend who is also searching online for someone and she can't seem to find anyone looking for a serious relationship either. My advice is to not give up though - who knows, the next person you contact on there might just be the one for you - good luck!
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@Humbug25 (12551)
2 Sep 09
Hi there UK_Shree Yes who knows, I could turn the corner of the street and literally bump into him too!! Thanks UK
@UK_Shree (3604)
3 Sep 09
Exactly! Stay positive!
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
Dating sites.. Right, one of the easiest way to meet people, especially if you're a type of person who is shy and can't express things to a person personally, now this goes to a deeper side. Anyways, I've been through dating sites, and I'm not gon' like I've joined more than twice. I've met few guys over the net, nothing serious.. But I must say that people look through a person's profile and base on their pictures. At least that's what I do. I mean, let's be real here, people care about what a person's look like, and yet still, pictures can be deceiving.. No matter how nice and cool a person is and his/her pictures is just something didn't like, will you talk to him/her? Dating sites are just all over the net, and there are too many fishes to net, and might as well grab the one you think is better than the other right, well I know it'll be hard to know, but again.. Everyone, okay, most look on person's pictures first, no matter how beautifully made your profile was, the chances is very minimal to attract someone unless you have a photo on that profile. Now going to your thing, you have put your photos and been real... However, didn't you just say that you have kids? I don't wanna be mean or something here but being more practical and real, nowadays, people would rather like to date single people rather the ones having baggages no matter how pretty and good-looking a person is. But still, I'm not saying all.. But some would still consider and would like to have someone who have kid/s already. Goodluck to you! =)
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@Humbug25 (12551)
28 Sep 09
Hi ya smooch091784 I understand what you are saying about kids and all that and you know something? I wouldn't want to be with someone who had problems with me having kids!! Also I think some people would find it hard at my age to find someone who doesn't have any kids. Thanks
@apples99 (6561)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I'd like to know what guys are looking for as well because I've been considering trying one those online dating sites too, but I'm still undecided, hope you get some good answers to this one.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
7 Sep 09
Hi ya apples99 I guess the sites are worth a go, it's not like I can get out much to really meet anyone. Thanks
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
4 Sep 09
Hello humbug! I met my husband on a dating website. But I am not saying that it's good. I really think that if it's really for you, it's for you no matter how good your profile is or how beautiful you are or even how active you are. I do believe that the dating site is only God's instrument for us to meet because we are actually miles apart. Just imagine USA and Philippines. Well, I don't actually look at the picture first. I look at the profile and then the picture. When I met my husband's profile, he didn't have any pictures on it but I don't know why I like it..heehehe
@Humbug25 (12551)
7 Sep 09
Hi ya aisaellis22 Well I am sure glad you found happiness anyway no matter where you found it. Thanks
@sredith (239)
• United States
3 Sep 09
In my experience with men, I've learned that no matter how they say that looks don't matter, they're full of it. They look at the picture first and if they decide that you're "do-able" or "remotely attractive" they might take the time to skim through your information to pick up a few keywords about you to bring up in conversation. Of course, I can't say this about all men because there are definitely some great ones out there, but this is typical of most of the guys that I know, and I've spent a lot of time observing and analyzing male behavior to avoid sucky relationships (and honey, no relationship is better than having to tolerate someone that sucks.)
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Sep 09
Hey there sredith and welcome to myLot Yeah I know what you are saying. On the site I use it tells you who has veiwed your profile and I get loads that do because I guess I come up in their search but they never leave a message. I hear ya with the sucky relationship thing, loud and clear!! Cheers
@advokatku (4036)
• Indonesia
3 Sep 09
lol. I like this topic .... I am much involved in friendship and dating site. Yea, I'm going to really seek soul mate or friend dating .... because my intention like that, of course I had show my real profile. And, I can attracted and fell in love when I look at the picture first. If I interest with picture it, direct, I will contact her
@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Sep 09
Hi there advokatku Yes but looks aren't everything you know! Thanks for your response
• United States
3 Sep 09
Honestly, if you're looking for guys, most will only look at your profile if you have an attractive picture. It's upsetting, but it's true most of the time.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
3 Sep 09
Hi ya boboguitar1 I haven't got a hope in Hells chance then!! LOL Thanks
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
2 Sep 09
I was going to write (a four letter word) that guys look at T*T* first but maybe that is too rude. I know that you must not judge a book by its cover but when it comes to social interaction people do tend to judge a person by her or his appearance first. I would be interested in everything, first of all in her appearance, then what she says about herself.
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@Humbug25 (12551)
2 Sep 09
Naughty naughty ronaldinu but probably right haha Good to see you from time to time and thanks for popping by with your response
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