Has Politics Ever Broken Up a Real Life Friendship?
@whiteheather39 (24403)
United States
September 4, 2009 10:01am CST
Yesterday I went through a very nasty, ugly experience with my best friend who happens to live next door to me. She is an Obama fan and I am NOT so this being the case I always try to avoid any conversations with her on that subject. Yesterday we were having one of our marathon phone calls...nothing to do with politics. I am usually very cautious and only have long conversations when she calls me because she is on multiple medications so her moods swings are horrendous so I do not know what kind of mood she is in. Yesterday it seems one of her nice days as she called to make a lunch date. Then she mentioned Obama and I said stop I do not want to discussion him and she that she had changed some of her opinions on him...OK she brought up the Obamacare Bill and that went quite smoothly, then I said that I seen a You Tube where it said the Obama's did not celebrate Christmas ...oh..danger!! So then told me in a very sarcastic tone I had to stop watch Fox news...I said I didn't watch it...to make a very long story short then she brought up the Birth Certificate so I said I don't want talk about that as we will just get in to problems. She would not stop and I was sick of being the peacemaker so I made couple of remarks about not to take so many pills...that resulted in crying and sobbing about how she was terrible person she was. Now she is losing control and am getting mad with her crying just to make me feel guilty at upsetting her so I told her the tears were not helping ...and I hung up on her.
Two minutes later she is at my front door at 12:20pm dressed in an old tatty robe, hair hanging down like a witch and started screaming and yelling at me which probably entertained our whole small quite street! Her husband who also shares in SSD so is at home to partake of pills and beer is hovering off to the side. So I said Michael can you please take your wife home and calm her down. OMG then it was..Yes I have a husband and I am sorry do not was her response...that was too funny as I do not want one so I started laughing OMG I thought was going to come through my screen door so I shut my door in her face.
OK I can be pretty sarcastic and really seldom lose my cools which only seems to make other person even madder.
What should I do? Apologise again? This sobbing act has been pulled on me a few time but never so absolutely out of control rabid behaviour as what she displayed yesterday.
5 people like this
15 responses
@Baluyadav (3643)
• India
4 Sep 09
Hi,friend,it's true.I experienced so many examples that politics will brake any kind of relation.You mentioned only one example of friend,there are many people who are close relatives like father and son,brothers,brother and sister,cousins etc relations are breaking in INDIA due to dirty politics.I can.t understand how people will breaking their relations due to politics.
2 people like this
@quita88 (3715)
• United States
4 Sep 09
this is a case of leave her alone.
She might come thru this really nice and you'll be taken again with her mental struggles.
Stay friends------at arm's length only.
You are entitled to your opinions and governmental ideas as well.
I have an E friend who when this whole Obama presidency thing started, sent out a "reply all" message telling us no more Obama jokes, etc.
I do not send her anything concerned with politics. I am very careful to keep my thoughts to myself unless I'm on mylot.
I had a mother in law who was bi polar and I had the same problems with her.
It's still your choice, but she is going to need a freind regardless of yesterdays fight, but still it's going to be hard for you to keep the subject in her corner when you, in fact, have a right to speak your mind as well.
Differences of opinion are nothing new, but staying within certain boundaries in this time of American needs, is almost sure to cuz more problems.
You are standing up for your country, your people and she's just going off the deep end.
The best advice from me is to keep your distance and help if you are asked only.
Friendships can only go so far and then real life takes place.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
4 Sep 09
That is pretty good advice especially as she lives on the other half of our duplex.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
4 Sep 09
Thank Lakota even today I do not feel like apologising....again!
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
4 Sep 09
Yeah, I recently lost a good friend because of politics. We've always known we're polar opposites when it comes to politics, but it was usually something we had fun with. We got into a discussion online about Prop 8. She hasn't spoken to me since. Her mother told me that she got mad at me at that discussin and doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.
I tried calling her a few times, but she didn't answer, and didn't return my calls. I sent her an email apologizing for hurting her, but got no answer. She recently moved away, so that's where that stands for now. I sent her another email wishing her the best in her new city and reminded her that when she's ready, I'll still be here, still her friend.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
4 Sep 09
I am sorry this happened to you but you seem to personify a really good friend by still offering your friendship to her.
@Grandmaof2 (7578)
• Canada
4 Sep 09
OMG is right!!! I know you love your friends and that's great. The way it should be actually but good grief, friends like that you'd never need enemies. I think the best thing you did was shut the door, you don't need that. Here's just one more example of what I always say, myLot friends treat me better than the ones next door and it is true. Good luck my dear friend.
@Grandmaof2 (7578)
• Canada
4 Sep 09
I should also add that No I have not had such a thing happen to me. I do believe however that a true friend will understand my views are going to be different at times and although people say you should never talk about politics and religion I am a firm believer we should be able to discuss anything and exchange ideas even if we don't always agree, it doesn't need to result in a gong show. Again I love myLot!!!LOL as well as all my friends here.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
4 Sep 09
Thank you. I too have better luck here on myLot. I is easier to escape from a bad situation here than when someone is in your face and seems as if they want to tear your hair out.
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
5 Sep 09
Politics have never broken up a friendship for me because I really do not care what morals, politics, or religious views a person has, just so long as they do not impose their beliefs on me, everything is okay. If a friendship has been broken up, it is because of trust issues. I have has many friends betray my trust, and when it comes to friends, over the years, I am learning not to trust anyone until I know what their motives are.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
5 Sep 09
You said "I am learning not to trust anyone until I know what their motives are." How right you are I am learning the same lesson.
@eaforeman6 (8979)
• United States
14 Sep 09
I did notice that alot of the family members were divided and of different parties. They had some very deep discussions lol but some people get way too upset and allow it to actualy silent their voices. If you are not speaking than you cannot really maintain the open discussions that are very important as things develop~~ Communication is so important.....
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
4 Sep 09
Gee, does she take Paxil and she ran out? That seems very familiar to me because it happened to me once and I turned into someone I'm usually NOT! Seriously, it's sad when friendships are affected by political differences. I've gotten into more "heated" discussions with friends about politics than I can count but it's never gotten out of hand or taken personally. It certainly seems from what you've written that you did everything possible to avoid a "fight" but she wouldn't let it go. I don't see how you could owe her an apology!
I guess I learned pretty early in my life how to know who I could discuss politics with and who I couldn't and fortunately there have been a lot more of the former than the latter. I'd never get angry at someone because they didn't agree with me about political issues and it really hurts when someone does with me. I honestly don't ever remember that happening until I came here! I'm glad I can have discussions about politics and other issues with people who have different views from mine because it makes me learn more instead of getting lazy and just following whatever the media tells me.
Annie
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
16 Sep 09
I'll bet shes already regretting acting like such a terrorist. concidering she probably dont have any other friends if this is her usual way. I dont know why some people think they can just FORCE you to change all your beliefs and be just like them. like i've told my former friend, if everyone was just alike with their beliefs and thoughts, it would be a very dull world. thank God we are all different in ways. @bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
16 Sep 09
and btw, i would never apologise. i tried that with my former friend many times only to have her do the same things to me over and over till i was sick of it and last time never apologised
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
4 Sep 09
If you're serious with both of your friendship? don't ever talk about politics because it really heated things up between your conversations. talk about things that you two are in common and not something that could hate each other in the end. it's just discussing religion, the debate will not end. except in anger and pain.
@underdogy (700)
• Thailand
4 Sep 09
Politics broke a lot of real life friendships and will still break more. There are people, who because they support different candidate and have different opinions, they tend to get angry and starting to tell bad things about the other. A similar example is you and your friend.
Politics also broke the friendship of two opposing politician who were once best of friends. It happened in some countries and will happen again for sure. It is a dangerous scenario because it's not only friendship which is at risk, but the life of the other. I guess this will continue it we can't accept each others differences. Much better to not bring the subject up if it's the reason of discussion that most likely will turn into arguing.
As to your question whether to apologize, I think it's a nice idea. Speak with her and told her not to talk about things that make you hate each other. Stop bringing up the past and try to make everything normal as if nothing happened. It may sound absurd, but no harm in trying anyway right?
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
4 Sep 09
I have buried the hatchet too many times. Now this time it upset me so much I am not prepared to let it happen again.
@underdogy (700)
• Thailand
5 Sep 09
I understand where you are coming from. I surely respect whatever decisions you make. All the best.
@marctiu (829)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
I have heard that many friendships were lost because of politics. As they have said it is the most dirtiest game that ever been place in this whole universe. I really don't understand that. Maybe I am a bit young to understand politics. But I really hope for a change and that they should help each other for the better of one country and not destroy each other's name and make the other candidate miserable. But rather they should help one another as to build a one strong nation.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
5 Sep 09
Your hopes are also mine but sadly the dirt is coating and distorting the facts so that at the moment our hopes will remain just that....hopes.
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
5 Sep 09
Oh geeze.
First and foremost, to each his own. I am NOT an Obama fan and personally, I am a fan of watching the news, reading it and staying tuned to current events and I must say that Fox News is the only channel that has the guts to air news that other networks don't.
She is mentally unstable, clearly, because she's on multiple medications so that probably clouded her logic.
I would not keep apologizing if I were you. If she comes back down from her fluffy cloud of medication then talks to me, I would have an open door. I don't think it would be of any good use to talk to someone when he/she is under the influence of something or is having side effects due to the medication he/she is on.
Yes, politics ruined a few friendships I had simply because some of the people I was friends with couldn't accept the fact that I do not support Obama's health care plan. I do not appreciate him or his work at all. I have a number of reasons but I don't normally bring them up unless I am asked. The unfortunate thing is, when I answer the questions, I only rile them up and they get mad. Well, ey, I'm just answering the question, right?
When it comes down, I respect people's opinions and no one ever has to agree with me all the time. I dont agree with what people say or think all the time but I still respect their point of view because to each his own. If my "friends" disrespect me because of my opinions, I wouldn't be friends with them anymore.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
5 Sep 09
Thank You! You hit the nail on the head for my situation when you said " I do not appreciate him or his work at all. I have a number of reasons but I don't normally bring them up unless I am asked. The unfortunate thing is, when I answer the questions, I only rile them up and they get mad. Well, ey, I'm just answering the question, right?When it comes down, I respect people's opinions and no one ever has to agree with me all the time. I don't agree with what people say or think all the time but I still respect their point of view because to each his own. If my "friends" disrespect me because of my opinions, I wouldn't be friends with them anymore." If the disrespect I was shown means I have to agree with her opinion or get confronted with a raving maniac then I choose to just be neighborly and that is all.
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
yeah of course...when both friends are in politics there's a big possibility that their friendship would turn into enemyship...why? it is because politics are known to be dirty in our country. I am speaking of the country where i belong..our country is under the umbrella of a president who is democratic that is graft and corruption are known in here...but if you lost power...i don't know if the previous friendship will still be the same or forever an enemy..but i am sure ...there's no friendship in politics in our country.i just don't know with other country..
