my gay friend....
By eM
@eLsMarie (4477)
New Zealand
September 5, 2009 4:35am CST
several weeks ago, i posted something in the love section here in mylot about my problem regarding with my gay friend. so i'm going to narrate again the story. i had a boyfriend whom my gay friend dislikes because of some petty reasons. when we were at our hangout, my gay friend told me to have pictures with him and my boyfriend, so without any malice, i took pictures of them. when he was about to return my phone, he told that he wasn't able to blue tooth their pictures because my phone was somewhat destroyed. days passed, we weren't able to hangout again because we were both busy. my best friend confessed to me about my gay friend's lie. me and my gay friend were from different schools so i wasn't knowledgeable that he's spreading news that my boyfriend and him were lovers. i told him to retract all the lies that he's spreading and to apologize to me and my boyfriend and my gay friend really did it. since then, we no longer communicate. now, i'm willing to forgive him.. the problem is i don't think that he's really sorry because after he said sorry, he never made an effort of fixing our friendship again... should i give him another chance? :(
3 people like this
11 responses
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
Lol! I don't know, if i'm your bf then maybe i would just laugh it off. lol! I mean what for, since you as my girlfriend know me too well and at least become a living proof that i am in no way engage in any gay relationships. I really don't know how serious the rumors spread from school to school but then who's going to believe it anyway when people sees him with you all the time? Your gay friend is only fooling himself so it's up to him if his conscience can take it and i don't know for how long he can live with the lie because the photo just don't prove anything. Unless of course they're in suggestive poses. lol!
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
More like being delusional, they'd probably laughing at him by now for making those lies. If he's probably afraid to face her and decided to move on i think. there's no doubt that her gay friend still likes the guy.
..well, it's up to you,eLsMarie..am just saying..@eLsMarie (4477)
• New Zealand
5 Sep 09
did you go over with my post? i posted there that we're not studying from the same school so his other friends weren't aware that i'm the girlfriend. my boyfriend graduated from the same college that my gay friend is studying. so it's so embarrassing. do you know the feeling of being betrayed? or if your girlfriend had a gay friend and her friend his spreading issues about you having an affair with a gay, will you just keep quite seeing that a lot of people are thinking that you have a girlfriend at the same time a gay lover? think about it... i don't think you're not that passive.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
you choose a best response already within 18 hours? well, to each is own. go on with your life. he is not someone that you can cherish forever. that is not the meaning of the word friend. friends make you feel safe and will not hurt your feelings. there is nothing you can do if she not sincere on saying sorry, but you have to start living your life without friends like that @se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
sorry, i didnt mean that you are not worth for the br, it was just early to see a BR granted for a discussion that is only 18 hours when i saw it. some of the members does not want to response on a discussion when there is already a best response and i guess we should at-least give a longer period, but sorry bro i didnt meant it was granted to you. hope i did not offend you with that.
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
awwww..don't feel bad, i didn't expect her to give me the BR, it's just that this topic had been talked before. for all i know (hope not) this topic might get deleted soon. besides, trust is a big issue in friendship..well, just for me to say.
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
6 Sep 09
Well you seems mind him being a "gay" ... so why bother fixing the friendship ? guess if you really want to fix the friendship then take the first step then .
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
5 Sep 09
ok so the rumors of your b/f and gay friend was true. ? well if that is a fact i think your friend neeed to make up his mind to be or not to be.
but if i read it wrong if your gay freind or either way if they cant say sorry for what had happen kick them to the curb and get someone new
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
5 Sep 09
well then if he said sorry you can either just go with that, or say the heck with him and move on
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
NO Way! i did reply to that topic of yours, he should beg for it! and earn your trust again. what he did was cheating and insulting on your part. I'd rather pack-up and look for friends who's not willing to fakely claim my partner, that is really "stabbing in the Back" I wouldn't want to unless that gay person approaches first. probably he felt guilty after wards, and might be afraid to talk to you again
..I'd move on if i were you... @eLsMarie (4477)
• New Zealand
5 Sep 09
woOow! LetranKnight25 you've been so helpful to me... how i wish i could share all my problems with somebody so caring like you... :( thank you very much... you have been very generous in giving responses. i'm so glad that you really spend time understanding my post... :)
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
Trust.,.....
I think is a very big issue here, you let that thing go and he might do it for real in getting your bf for good.I don't think your being inferior, i would be mad and never see that guy again claiming that my girl is his. SOme one taught me this lesson
"trust a person once, not twice" unless you have a real big heart...
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
5 Sep 09
I forgive for myself and not for others because it's not nice to carry grudges or ill feelings. It often causes more harm/stress on you than it does to the person who inflicted it.
I would forgive, I normally do but forgiving a person doesn't necessarily mean that you go back to the way things were. Just be civil. No need to be all hunky dory and go kumbaya with him.
A sincere apology would be nice but you can't always expect that in people. Forgive for you. It takes a thorn out of your chest.
Should you give him another chance? You can have him as a friend, yes but again, things will not go back to the way it was unless you want it to be. I would be friends with the guy but I'll set limitations because he had already proven himself not worthy.
NO one is perfect but we all have boundaries. Question is really, what are your limitations?
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
5 Sep 09
Clearly youre not ready to forgive. Time will come but dont let him affect you the way he does. See, you're the loser here if you keep letting him do that to you.
If you're not ready now then give it time. :-)
When you're ready to forgive, that's gonna be good for you. Like I said, you don't have to be best friends. Just be civil.
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I think at this point, it is up to him to work on the friendship. What he did was devious and wrong and not something that a real good friend would do to another friend. I understand that he does not like your boyfriend but to do what he did...sorry...that is just weird. It didn't just hurt your boyfriend....it your your friendship. You are a very good friend to so easily forgive him.
@eLsMarie (4477)
• New Zealand
6 Sep 09
hmmm... i was also very confused when i found out that he spread stupid lies and yet he made it clear to my friends that he dislikes my boyfriend. my bet friend told me that our gay friend is just telling us that he finds my boyfriend unattractive so that we won't think that he likes him... harsh! thanks for your response anyways... it meant so much to me...
@ladyhope (377)
• Canada
6 Sep 09
I wouldn't forgive him if I were you. This is more than a mistake, this was an intentional attempt to harm your boyfriend and yourself.
If you do forgive him, it better be because he has begged a ton and has in some way shown his remorse. It should not be just because you miss him because it may only lead to more harm in the future.
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
5 Sep 09
Well reading your post, I don't think you wanna give him a second chance. But still, why do you care ? He's the one who has made the mistake. If he wants another chance, he would not only say sorry but also try to convince you that he is a good guy. If he hasn't done anything like that, then I think you shouldn't bother.
The decision's upto you, forgiving is never a bad thing. But the ones who deserve to be forgiven should only be forgiven...
@aabuda (1722)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
Gays are prone of spreading gossips especially love life. But not all of them, I myself can actually be different from them. I would rather support my bestfriend that spreading lies about a particular relationships. Men are for women. So they would just turn him down later. I would rather stay in the side of my bestfriend who is always in my side no matter what happens.
