If you had to pick between your own happiness and the happiness of others...
By nadooa247
@nadooa247 (1096)
United States
September 14, 2009 7:02pm CST
Many pick the happiness of others over their own... or rather the contentment of others... you know... not upsetting the family or going along with their decision even if it does not please you. Heck even if it down right upsets and angers you... would you do that?
OR..
Would you be willing to put aside the happiness of your wife/gf/husband/bf for the sake of your friends and family? Anything from breaking a promise to not sticking up for them when they (significant other) is being wronged..?
What is your take on such a thing.. anyone faced something of the sort??
1 person likes this
3 responses
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
15 Sep 09
In all honesty it can't be one or the other. I know when my children were younger it was all about them. Scrafices had to be made and it was for them. It had to be, but as they are growing older as so am I, it takes a turn.
There has to be a MY time with everyone. You give up, do and just be there for your family but as they grow independently you are also due for your time too.
So I don't see it as being one way or another. I see it as a change course we have in our priorities turn. We focus to raise our family so they are productive adults and don't have to lean on us so much. Then, we are able to relax and focus on ourselves.
It can't be just one way, it's the changing in the seasons.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
15 Sep 09
I'm sorry I missread this. When it comes to disputs between family. If this is my family who treats others unfairly. I have no struggle in saying they are wrong or if they want to complain about it then do it to someone else.
I think there is always one family member that is on the outs within a family. I don't know why but it just seems that way. Some people just aren't content unless they are constantly biitch'en about somebody else. It's catchy too, like a disease.
But If I see it going on, I don't mix words. I'm straight forward with what I feel and can word it in a way that I've had enough, you're unfair and not thinking of others when you talk that way.
So in that aspect, I don't look at it as a happinesss issue. I look at it as a wrong and right issue. If I thought about it from an emotional stand point, then I'd probably never open my mouth. So to be really constructive, I keep emotions out of it and focus on the wrong and right of it all.
Does that make sense?
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
16 Sep 09
Yes it makes a lot of sense what you are saying. But what if it is your significant other that is choosing their family over you? what would you do or say? basically they take advantage of him or her and care not of your feelings wants or desire just what they feel or want..
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
16 Sep 09
That's a hard place to be in. Sounds like my ex husband and his family. I divorced him some 15 years ago and he's still being run by his mother. It's a hard call because if you stand up for yourself or what is right then you are placing him in the middle of you and his family. I didn't find any easy answers in my own situation. He turned to drinking a lot just so he wouldn't deal and I got tired of that too.
I'm sorry, there just aren't any easy answers on that one. Be strong, you see what's happening and I hope the family doesn't live too close to you.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Sep 09
I think it depends on whether you're talking about one or two things now and then or all the time. I think if you do things all the time for others that involve putting aside your own happiness, you're going to be a very stressed, depressed person. There has to be a balance.
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
16 Sep 09
actually.. i have come to totally not care about what he wants anymore... a tic for tak sort of deal... i do become rather depressed at times where i cant stand seeing my own reflection in the mirror... but i just try to not care and dawn it's now working
1 person likes this
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
19 Sep 09
So pretty much no one would put up with it but we are stuck dealing with it.. yippee lol
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
16 Sep 09
that is life.. a bunch of sacrifices stringed one right after the other.. doesn't make it any easier though.. now does it?
