Why do we feel closer to some people than we do to others?

Well I used to be quite open with many people. But lately I have been mistreated alot both online and offline. I think some people just open up more to one person rather than other because of a spiritual connection.

With each person we have a unique relationship... There are no two relationships that are the same.. Since each person is built differently, and there are different types of relationships; family, friends, co workers, class mates, the list can go on and on... Which creates different types of trust levels; thus how much we trust, that's how close we are to that person.. Like my relationship with my aunt; we are very close, she knows things about me that well I do not even realize.. Then my mom, we are able to talk about certain things, the trust level is well not there... Then the relationship I have with my son... granted he is very young yet, but he is a very important part of my life... he does not judge me, or other complex thoughts... its very simple right now... And then the relationship with my other half, which is very complex, and can be rather confusing and frustrating, but happy, and fun all at the same time...lol People that I would not consider as friends I would not consider "enemies" just do not want them around...I am just very closed mouth... But I try my hardest to treat others the way I want to be treated.. I believe an action can be return two fold... positive or negatively.. just as simple as a smile versus a frown.. or a harsh word to silence.. Granted that may not always happen, and also my view point is different then others.. So my actions may be misinterpreted. Or actions of others may be misinterpreted by me... Over all I try to give everyone a certain level of respect, everyone should have that... but others will be treated differently depending on the type of relationship I have with the person..

I think some people are just easier to talk to then others! people who seem to be easy to relate to i guess or you have a lot in common with, i tend to drift towards those types of people, but its not always safe territory! I'm pretty carefull who i befriend in the real world.. but at mylot i will friend anyone really.. as long as we have something in common! Also i think to a degree everyone judges a little bit.. i mean we can't help it really.. i push the thought away for the most part.. like if you see a mother yelling at her kid, you think for a split second geez lady ease up on the kid a little or osmething, but you dont ever know the full story, or details to why she's yellin at her kid like that right ? I see that a lot at walmart..

CC- Something I have learned over the last two years is to trust my gut in regards to other people. If I have any internal feeling that warns me about another I will remain guarded and let the cards be played as they may. There are those people, kindred spirits so to speak, that I instantly have a reporte with. An example is a good friend of mine. She and I just instantly became friends and have been friends for a long time. Either way, I wouldn't take it as an insult if someone takes their time to get to know you. For the most part, I am very shy, introverted, and take my time getting to know people. My mother describes us both as the introverted-extrovert. We're able to have the gift of gab, put people at ease, but we are guarded out of fear of rejection. I think there is some truth to that. I've been hurt very deeply in the last two years by "friends" that I now shield my emotions from that. Meaning, at times I can appear a bit too reserved. I do not intentionally go out of my way to mistreat another simply because someone mistreats me. In fact, there have been times where someone rejects my friendship, yet one of their friends accepts it because we have more in common. Now, I am a bit blunt at times with my opinions that too has sometimes cut too deeply. However when people are friends it is working through these differences that true friendship comes out. One of my friends is more outspoken than me, but I respect him for that and even if we disagree we're still friends. Namaste-Anora

I pretty much have to know them for a while before I can open up to them. There are some people that I have meant that you just know that they are someone special. I am leary of some most of the time. I just recently meet one of my husbands cousins. She seemed really nice but I was a little stand offish. So I then got to know her and she is a wonderful person. We are good friends now...

With some people we feel closer as soon as we come in contact with them. I feel it is closely related to the vibration of one's mind. We feel instanly in resonance with them. I think it is because minds have similar vibrations

I'm friendly and nice person but never open to the others and even to some people, until i know them pretty well. And even i know them, i never share lots of things. These days, we need to be extra careful, coz in a single information, it might ruin us and friendships.

It is an in interesting question and I have often wondered why some people are easier to talk to than others. I find myself warming up to certain individuals almost immediately whereas other are not so easy to get close to. The only thing I can put it down to is chemistry or something because it is entirely personal who gets close to whom. I find that the initial ‘gut feeling’ I have upon meeting someone is usually the right one. I met a woman years ago at my daughter’s playgroup and although she behaved beautifully toward me and was popular amongst the other ladies, I had an uncomfortable feeling whenever I was around her. It turned out later that she was not as nice as she initially came across. I have learned to trust my initial feelings, they are rarely wrong.

hello again my friend city chic frankly, I have no close friends here, probably some mylot-users online but never that close. it's hard since we are all anonymous here and in some time the person that you think you are close to could change and betray you. the only thing i don't do online is reveal dark secrets, because you wouldn't know if who is to trust. it's a hard issue for me. most specially now that a friend who is gone had accused me of such that i felt bad that i lost trust and confidence on my other countrymen's discussions. just don't tell secrets here. that's all

I really dont know. If could only change things regarding it, I shouldn't have hurted people.

We feel close to some people for we understand each other and know we can't hurt each other.As for strangers we can't feel close.

There are a lot of people I encounter at school but I feel close and comfortable to only a handful of them. Before, I thought the most important requirement to get close to someone is being close to them physically but eventually I realized that even though you are always with the same person all the time doesnt guarantee being close to him/her. I think similarities in personalities and likes in life really have a big role in building a realationship. This is because you will feel more comfortable sharing and opening yourself to them when you know they would understand and accept you. You can also ask them for advice since they would personally have their own set of experiences same as you.

Ok, there's a lot I could say about this for myself, but let me try to stay from going on too many tangents at once. : ) "Why is it that we feel closer to some people than we do to others?" We all have certain character traits that are either strong in our own personality/beliefs or to which we are drawn in others. Years ago, my family (siblings/parents - all adults) completed a set of questions from a book we were all reading together. Who do you admire, and what do you admire about them? As we continued through the exercise, we learned that what we most admire in others is what we have within ourselves, but sometimes fail to see. And so perhaps this is one "trait" which draws us closer to certain people. And then what about "birds of a feather flock together" which supports the above exercise? In this case, "like attracts like." On the flip side of that "opposites attract." How can both be true? We are a paradox, both ends of the same spectrum, and so somehow, both are true. We attract people (not just partners) who represent what we feel we are not. Now, at the risk of confusing the matter - are we attracting the very same people who represent what we already are, but we do not see that we have those traits yet? As for the people who seem ok initially....what drew us to them? Our intuition....the positive and whole part of ourselves, or some other needy part of us that is seeking another individual to "complete" who we are? And really, how can that even be real? We have everything we need inside ourselves to be whole, healthy individuals. That's not to say we don't need others or what they bring to us....but if we are dependent on what they bring, we are headed for a world of hurt. For me personally, I'm not fearful of people mistreating me in general....the deeper fear lies hidden....what if they don't like me? And so I try to be aware of the moments when this fear begins to be in charge of me....and remind myself to be who I am....and also.....that I like me....and that's enough.

Its just that some people have similar interests thats why they are closer to one another.

Hi. Citychic. This is a great discussion here! I like this discussion. I feel closer to certain people because they have gained my trust. They have shown me that they accept me for who I am. They love me in spite of. They also treat me like a human being too. The people that I am not close to, is because they may have mistreated me, insulted me, talked about me behind my back, hated on me for nothing, asked me too many personal questions that was none of their business, acted like they were better than me, lied to me, and despised me, because of what someone else may have told them about me. I am only close to people that have made me feel like I am somebody special that God has created. I don't hate my enemies, I just dislike their ways. I will never tell anyone that I am not close to, certain things that I share with people that I am close to.

Hi Citychic, I have found that I tend to feel much closer to people who are down to Earth, real and not guarded about themselves. I am quite a nervous person at heart, and so people who seem guarded or closed put me on edge. I like the witty people who laugh and joke and seem almost childish at heart, I warm to them really easily. Someone too much like myself (serious, quiet etc.) makes me nervous and I tend to take a little longer to get to know and trust them. At the same time if anyone shares something about themselves with me, if they are honest about something or tells me something about their past, then I tend to warm to them as well since I feel like we are connecting on a more spiritual level. In the end I think those are the reasons I like being online so much. People (and myself) find it easier to be open and honest, and so I can make that connection easier. In reality I am even more nervous and guarded because I think information can be used against me more easily, so even if I meet a nice bubbly person in reality I don't open to them, not until I know they no noone that I do! Heck I could do a lecture on this but I will stop now before the boredom kicks in lol! Fantastic topic . Dranz

personally, i think it all depends on ur level of closeness and familiarity with each other. i wouldn't attempt to "unclothe" myself with my feelings to someone i just know for a short time. if i have to open up my feelings, problems, worries, fears or happiness, it would be someone whom i feel closer and someone who knows me well. someone like that better understands u.

Hi,Friend,I think this feeling is related to first impression,exchange of words and mainly depends on same mind frequency.When both the people thoughts,habits,tastes in dressing,food habits etc.,are same also leads to closr feeling.Some times jokes when we are in good mood and consoling nature when we are in bad mood also enhance the closer feeling.I don't know about enemies as i have no enemy.All the best and happy mylotting.

hey citychic! I am fairly a nice person over all, I do not open up as fast as some might think. But I am the type of person that if you share something from your heart, as will I. Everyone calls me the "people pleaser" I don't like being mistreated, and I don't think that I have enemies, I hope that I don't! I treat people the way that I would like to be treated!

Well its hard for me to get close to people..im really friendly and notice that others try to take advantage of that so im careful not to mistreat others but I dont like to get to close to people .It has caused so many problems for me in the past Excluding my friends.and mylot. (im talking about outside the net with ppl i dont know)