I Thought Girls Liked For Guys To Hold Doors For Them?

United States
September 21, 2009 2:21am CST
I was going to the campus cafeteria one day and this girl was behind me. She was very pretty and I held the door open for her. The fact that she was pretty wasn't the only reason I held the door open for her. I always hold doors open for girls because I was taught to be a gentleman. So I was holding the door for her and she just stopped and looked at me like I had insulted her. She stood there a minute, then she went through really fast and mumbled at me. I couldn't tell if it was "Thank you" or somethin' else that I can't type on here, but I said "You're welcome" anyway. Maybe she felt I was being a chauvinist by holding the door? I hear girls complain all the time about how chivalry is dead and when I try to be nice the girl gets offended.
5 people like this
41 responses
• Cebu, Philippines
21 Sep 09
Ahahaha... you know what dude being nice to someone most of the times girls misinterpret it.. But don't feel sorry about it..atleast you did what you need to do. Maybe she doesn't know the meaning of "nice" instead of saying thank you MR. SHORTYAKBAR but she didn't...but really if i was that lady I will smile and say thank you. ^_^
2 people like this
@ferdzNK (3214)
• Philippines
21 Sep 09
Is it really true that most of the time they misinterpret it?
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18319)
• Greece
21 Sep 09
Hi ShortyAkbar, it is nothing but ill manners to me when girls misinterpet having a door held open for them as chauvanistic, and please do not let it stop your practice of excellent manners. When they ignore the gesture of make offensive comments just reply as you did with the 'You're most welcome' line. Yes women should be treated with equal respect in the work place etc and have independant rights, but most of us are still women who appreciate these gentelmanly gestures and would never be offended by them. I'm also most appreciative of things which men do such as on our manic, mainly male dominated roads they will wave me into a line of unmoving traffic or rush to give guidance on how to park the car when they see my inevitable struggles. We may expect equality but that does not rule out chivalry. Continue with your most excellent ways and take no notice of the ill mannered.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18319)
• Greece
21 Sep 09
And the quickest response I have ever recieved.
1 person likes this
@ShepherdSpy (8561)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
22 Sep 09
I'll hold a door open for anybody coming up behind Me,(Especially a regular door with one of those closer mechanisms that I know will bang closed) whether Female or Male,so that they don't catch it in the face when I get to go through first! I think it's very poor Manners to charge on through a door with someone coming close behind,allowing it to swing shut as they reach it,especially when they're carrying a load of stuff.. Some people just don't get the concept of good Manners,or are so thrown by having some shown to them,it flusters them to the point they don't know what to say and they get embarrassed..
• United States
22 Sep 09
You know, some women, have misplaced their womanhood, by a long ways. Some have become so independent, that they think it's an insult to ask for, or receive help of any kind. Others, seem to have forgotten or gotten misplaced, and don't know that there are actually nice men in the world. Persoanlly, i think your efforts at being a gentleman are very worthwhile, keep at it, there just are not many left like you in the world today.
@jbl1975 (374)
• United States
22 Sep 09
I never had a problem with it myself. I do recall trying to be hooked up with a girl back in 1996, and I found myself going overboard with the chivalry, and had actually offended her with it. I didn't understand it. I was only trying to be nice, but I guess I was trying too hard as they say. Otherwise, I never really had any problems with it. The only time is when there's more then one door, or the door pushes out sometimes.
1 person likes this
@hotsummer (10524)
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
what a mean she was. maybe this girl is not used to have a stranger hold the door for her. and so maybe just do it to other girls. or if you don't want, then let them hold the door for themselves. why bother when they don't know how to appreciate what you have done.
1 person likes this
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
22 Sep 09
Sometimes, right seems wrong, and wrong seems right. Just trust your instincts when you do something nice for someone next time.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84076)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Sep 09
If somebody holds a door for me, I say "thank you". If somebody is not too far behind me, male or female, I hold the door for them. I do consider it rather rude to drop a door right in somebody's face...
1 person likes this
@BStuff (498)
• United States
22 Sep 09
hmm this is a tough one. I think its cute when guys hold the doors open for me. Most guys at my school are moving so fast they dont do little things like this but a few of them do and its really cute. I think its sweet of you to do that. She might have been caught off gaurd or took it as you hitting on her (which some guys do happen to do at my school to they do this creepy look you up and down thing) She might have just been confused. Don't let it get you down. Just keep on being a nice guy that will get you a lot further than being a jerk and hey you never know which girl will be walking through the door. It could be the girl you marry.
1 person likes this
@busybren (258)
• United States
21 Sep 09
Aw! What a b**ch LoL That sucks and if it makes any difference, I totally appreciate that you (a man) could show such courtesy. Really! I don't care who it is or for what reason it is, I appreciate a gentleman. Just let it go. It should show you what kind of person you are and what kind of persn they are. Maybe she was just having a bad day, but thanks to you. There are people still out there willing to bring someone else's spirits up when down, most of the time they appreciate it. Better luck next time :)
1 person likes this
• South Korea
21 Sep 09
XD maybe the girl was having a bad day? yes and i agree that we guys should stuff like that. Are you sure she was pissed at you for holding the door open? maybe it was something else?
1 person likes this
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
21 Sep 09
What she mumbled could mean a good thing, it was because you did not understood it. I knew that most women want doors to be opened for them. The still prefer that old gentlemanly ways of men.
1 person likes this
@oinkgiz (865)
• Singapore
21 Sep 09
hi shortyakbar, thanks for sharing this discussion. i still believe that a lot of girls like a gentleman guys. because im one of them... ahihihi... but ofcourse now a days not all girls can appreciate that kind of gesture which sometimes it is misinterpret but it depends on the girl of course... but it is very nice if a lot of girls will do that to me, it would be very flattering... ahihihi... have a nice day and happy mylotting... ^_^
1 person likes this
@ferdzNK (3214)
• Philippines
21 Sep 09
A man got to do what a man got to do. As long as you believe that what you did was right then don't think of any thing else. For what she mumbled all about, you did the right thing too, saying something nice. Keep it up!
• South Korea
21 Sep 09
tats an awseom way to put it!
1 person likes this
@vicky30 (4773)
• India
5 Dec 09
It was good that you helped the girl.There are times girls misunderstand guys and think they are bad, they later realize that they are wrong and try to ask forgiveness.That is if the girl sees you once again in her way.I am glad you did the right thing instead of here fumbling you told her welcome.You are have a very good heart.Keep it as it is to win the heart of many people.
@tinam13 (839)
• United States
26 Sep 09
If you think about it chivalry is a little degrading. I don't understand who thought that a man should hold a door open for a woman just because she's a woman. Is this incinuating that the woman is weak?? Honestly when guys hold doors open for me, I'm not rude to them and I still thank him, but it does irritate me a little bit, it's awkward. What about the guy, why can't a woman hold open a door for a man. I actually tried this a couple times, and the guys kind of takes the door from you and says something like "no, that's ok, go ahead"...I don't get it.
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
26 Sep 09
It really depends on the girl. One of the first things you need to know about women is that they are just like men - every single one has her own mind and her own opinion.
@bellis716 (4805)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Some females have not been taught to be ladies, so they feel insulted when a man treats them as such. They don't understand that holding the door open is just the polite thing to do and not a sign that the man thinks she is so weak that she can't open the door for herself.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
23 Sep 09
In my opinion, that belongs to yesterday. Girls are gradually more independent and on par with guys, both financially and emotionally. Once a while girls like to be papmered but I am sure the guys too. Sincerity beats everything. lol.
• Malaysia
23 Sep 09
Ignore what the girl said. You should carry on the practice of holding the door for someone behind you, not necessarily girls, but anyone, especially senior citizens. I am sure someone you held the door for, would thank you. I think I would!