something is missing in my life

September 21, 2009 9:57am CST
Hi,guys what's up. Before i start, could you just bear me a second. i'd like to tell you guys a little bit about my self.I have been living in an english-speaking country for a while now, (english is my second language), i love this language so much, and personally i think english is the most beautiful language in the world, i have never stopped to practice my english ever since i moved to this country. but most of the time the pratice is done all by my self--i will lock my self in a room, read a short article loudly time after time, it did improveed my accent and influence. But i got this feeling that it is not the best way to improve my english, especially considering i am living in an english country. however, i feel like there is something missing in my life that i want so much but don't know how to get it. i feel there is a invisible wall sourrounding me to keep me away from people, the local people, i have this desire to know them, to understand them, to be a part of their lifes. not only for my english, but also to find this missing part of my life. I have heard and seen people like me, have successfully fitted in this society ,but i am still standing there observing people's life. I feel horrible and sorry for myself. I watch american movies and TV shows, listen to english songs like linkin park (rocks), green day and etc. but still there is not much interaction between me and locals. i even watch the TV show called pick-up artist and read articles written by those PUAs, you know, i was wondering that hi may be this will teach me how to find a local girlfriend to improve my english and get a better understanding of their lifes. i really hate to say this but who am i kiding here, it is already hard for those guys who were borned and raised in this country and speaking english perfectly well to get a girl, let along english is my sencond language. i really don't know what to do now, should i go out there and open a group and say hi, see how it goes. or should i prepare some topics that are interesting or should i change my looks a little bit, you know,things like new hair style. or should i change my life style, my mind set, you know, be positive, embracing my self. sorry guys, there are so many questions and unknowns, cos i have never done something like these before. I know a guy like me, he wrote a article and putted it up on the internet,about his relationships with local girls. i want to be him, but i don't know how and where to start, i wrote him a email,he did not reply. what should i do, is there anyone here have some problems like what i am having here, may be we can share some thoughts, or is there anyone been there before, and now you have had some success, can i get some tips from you guys. thank you very much
1 response
• United States
21 Sep 09
It is very hard to learn a new language and culture. Honestly it sounds like youre doing good, it might not seem that way to you because you want more and more from your new culture. I think one thing about it would be to relax, sometimes when we try to hard to fix in we tend to drive people away from us that would otherwise be attracted to us. Also if what your looking for is a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship then dont change your style, if the other person cares about you they will like you for who you are.
21 Sep 09
thank you so much for the head-up, i think you can feel what i feel, yes i do want more and more, because i love english so much. are u a native speaker? is there any web site you can tell me , you those, those where your topics are coming from when you talk to people, it would be much appreacited. thank you for you reply.