I am so stressfull!!!!!!!! REALLY

United States
September 22, 2009 6:11pm CST
Hello, I am a mom of two children, one is 5 years old and one is 19months. well they are so cute and busy kids. I take care of them every day and every hours... I also a full time worker, full time mom and full time housewife. My husband helps a little but not enough for me to take any hour off from these children. Since my daughter goes to school, everything is just double on me. I got of work and go straight to pick her up and then go to the shopping for food, or do something else that my work require. Once I get home, my first thing is get something for my daughter to eat first and then prepare for dinner. sometimes i have to make a full list to do house works. I feel like non stop job... I know it is hard cuz I have no help from family or friend. Even now, I am sitting in the backyard just to let them play but the kids still come and get on me and distracting me from computer or work that I want to do. I feel a headache so much, they cry and scream and bother me so much. how am I going to finish my work if they keep on doing like this. I told my oldest daughter to go play but my a little one won't go.... Do you think I have too much in my mind? or that's the way children are? It seem like 24 hours are my time... I work around the clock. If I go somewhere else, they will go crazy and I will not able to do anything. please moms out there help me resolve this problem
4 people like this
12 responses
@pillusch (1148)
• Mexico
23 Sep 09
I´m not a mum, but I admire people like you. I would, to put it mildly, have gone nuts a long time ago, and I really wonder HOW any woman (like you) is able to jiggle 50 things at the same time! I honestly don't have any advice for you, I leave that to other mums, just keep up your spirits, one day you will look back at it, probably wonder tourself HOW you did it and just cherish the memory. Good Luck.
• United States
23 Sep 09
Hello, I got that a lot from my customers... Right I do many things at the same time but it is not good, you know. It is hard and very stressful. However, I dont take any depression medicine or whatever... I just give myself a time to do things and make sure im not going crazy about this. As you know, household work, I do; full time work, paying bills and everything relate to financial thing, I do; children, I take care ( I make sure they fully eat and healthy). for short, everything that both parents do then I do them all myself. My husband does is working from 8am to 7pm, he brings home money and only time that we meet only night time and weekend. I wish when my children grow up then we will take a long vacation and let rest from work.
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3099)
• United States
22 Sep 09
The way I see it is you are a parent and there isn't any break for a parent. The children shouldn't be giving you a break, your husband should. Sounds like you two need to talk about you getting some time to yourself. Everyone likes their own personal time, but when you can't get it because your spouse or partner isn't seeing you need it then you have a problem. I think this is something you need to take up with him. Children need their parents, especially at those ages. I know, I raised 5 of them and there isn't any personal time to yourself. BUT, if you feel you need it for your own sanity, then it should be your HUSBAND that steps up to the plate and say hey, let me help you mom needs a break. I'd talk with him and get this sorted out. They are after all his children too.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 09
good idea. I think I will talk to him tonight. he also help me out but not enough that I need at all. I am not tired of my children and never want to stay far from them either but sometime they are way too much for me to take. once I see them fall a sleep... oh I feel like my free time is coming lolz... and then I have to do other work that I haven't done.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 09
I understand. I do. And in all reality he works - so do you, but you have to come home after a day of work and what does he do? Parenting is a shared responsiblity. It should never fall on one parent more than the other. I think being a mother/wife is hard because you are divided anyway. Throw in a job on top of that and it's like you're always doing something for everyone else but yourself. I can relate to that. I've gotten down to take the kids to a movie or to the park for an afternoon. It isn't that I want to go do something, but you know, every onnce in a while, it would be nice just to sit at home with a cup coffee and just hear nothing but silence.
1 person likes this
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
23 Sep 09
thanks for your good suggestions. i think it will be helpful to mothers!
1 person likes this
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
22 Sep 09
yes,it's very hard for a full time work mother ,easpecially she have to take care of two children.my friend and her husband are colledge teachers,they have a baby,the have to take care their child in turn.very busy.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 09
I feel like no life... I dont want to complain about those children but they just dont let me break at all... everything they call, they ask and they always give me job to do. My a little won't do anything if I don't stay or do for her, even I sit down then she wants to sit on me... oh my god.
1 person likes this
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
22 Sep 09
children are lovely angels god gives us,so,don't tired of them.i have only one child ,i could n't have another one in china because of the only child policy,so you are lucky !you have two lovely and healthy children.they are your fortune.
@msinfo79 (325)
• United States
23 Sep 09
That is so true, although I feel you I'm a mom of 5 and when my husbands kids come over I'm a mom of 9. So darling until our kids are grown we as mother's never really get a break. Sometimes even when they're grown we still don't get breaks because we're always worrying about them being ok. But don't fret I have a few suggestions: 1. give your children the blessed DVD elmo-size or any fun dance dvd for children this is always entertaining and tiring. 2. keep lavender oil room fragrance or spray in the house it keeps children calm. 3. incorporate sassparilla tea into there diet if they're not allergic it calms children down without harm full side affects. 4.join a local mommies group where you become friends with oter moms looking for a break too, set rules for your club and each mom picks a night to watch kids so that the other mom can have a few hours to herself. 5. make you a weekly meal planner and make a weeks worth of dinner in one day, freeze everything and take out when needed and heat n serve. 6. Ask hubby to help a little more with household chores, divide them between you too and give each other some sexy incentives or simple ones. 7. always look at your children with love in your eyes and heart give them a hug and pray that each day will get better. Hope this helps I have more suggestions but too long to put in comment box.
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
23 Sep 09
I relate to your dilemma smileonstar and I only have one child! The first thing you need to do is talk to your husband and explain to him that your life and well being is as important as his and if he expects you to bring home money by working fulltime he is going to have to get off his butt and help you; this is where some kind of chores roster can be useful. If he is not willing to help you it might be worth considering lessening your work hours from full time to part time perhaps. You need to change the situation because if you keep going like this you will end up very depressed. I am very angry that your husband won’t help. I threatened to divorce mine once because he was watching TV while I was washing dishes and had the flu! It obviously got through because he got the message and changed his ways in a hurry. Hope you can make some changes; even putting the children in some sort of Vacation care so you can have some time to yourself may help.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 09
well, my husband also help. He takes kid to school, does his work at home and comes to the store(where I work) take over my place and lets me go home. Now, he back to his regular job (cuz they called him back to work ... yeahhhhhhh, im so happy about this) so I have to work 15 hours a day and plus taking care of the kids. I think 5 years from now, I will be crazy for sure
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
24 Sep 09
Oh dear that's not good! Can you cut back on your hours a bit?
• United States
26 Sep 09
If you are working 15 hours a day, maybe you can get a person to clean your house for you so it's not so bad for you? You know having a person come once a week to vaccum, clean the bathroom and the kitchen isn't that expensive when you think about the time it takes you to do it and the hours that you work.
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
hello smileonstar, i know how you feel especially that you are also working full time. being a mom is really a tough job for your family is depending on you. mostly on hubby, all they know is that they are working for the family, a little on household chores but you need to tell them to do that. thay can not do anything without even told for they are like that. good for those who can do without even told. whereas moms, can do two or three things at the same time. have a lot of sideways before finishing the first one that she started. maybe you can talk or ask your hubby that he needs to help you also in some chores. give him a responsibility/ies in the house so you don't need to do them all by yourself. that way, you can have a little free time and need not toworry much.
• United States
23 Sep 09
my husband work as well, it is hard for him to take off work and take care of children cuz his work bring home more money than me. He helps when he homes. I think sometimes I get stress from work and then plus children are going crazy around me then it makes me feel so stress but mostly I can handle them... hope thing get better
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yes, just hold on.
@yogeshdhusa (2237)
• India
23 Sep 09
Hi smileonstar, i feel that you shoule take time for yourself, may be atleast a half an hour. because if you dont take rest this will cause anger and your family will get effected. hence you have to take time to pamper yourself. I take time to meditate and do yoga. this make me relaxed and active for whole day. i know you dont have time but 10 min medetation + 15 min yoga. will give you more energy to complete you work fast and you will have more time to spend.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 09
Hello, I wish I can do yoga... but first thing I dont know how and I can do a little exercise with my kids and my husband. time is very important to me...every time I spend here on mylot is only when my children are sleeping... ... once they are a wake then I have to quit here and doing something else that I need to do. thanks for sharing and I will try my best to do some yoga
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 09
Parenting is a stressful, non-stop kind of job. However, you need the support of your partner. He needs to go from helping a little to taking on an equal share of the childcare and the housework. You really need to discuss it with him and tell him you need help or you're going to lose your mind.
• United States
28 Sep 09
thx for the respond. well, he always help me but during the day time he has to go to work and he can help only evening and before bed time, or morning to drop off the kids. He knows that I do many things and he told me to take them to day care but I dont want to cuz I dont want anyone to take care of my own children.
@seekers (393)
23 Sep 09
Bieng a multitasker mom is a real challenge and its normal that you feel some burn out from time to time. There are pains and joys of having kids. I guess you should learn to think of better ways how are you going to manage the task well in a systematic way. Spending time with the kids in a lighter activity so you will be reinforced in a positive way. If you will have a chance, take some break, visiting or talking to some close friends will enlighten you a little bit.
• United States
28 Sep 09
you are right, time is just too fast for me and I can't even do anything. I love children, but sometimes I can't handle them cuz they are way too much. thx for the respond
• Singapore
23 Sep 09
my empathy is with you. I see how stressful you are because your load is really too much. Won't you consider having a household help or at least a relative to ease your load. If you keep on pushing yourself to the limit, it will not be benefecial to you and in the end to your family too. Even a person with a good time management skills will find it hard to handle what are you going through now. Also, you can consider talking to your husband to at least delegate some work to him, like simple household chores if getting outside help is not possible. Hope he don't mind helping as me and my husband share all household chores since we are also both working. It helps when man understand the inportance of helping their partners not only in providing their family's needs but to support in everything that matters in the family.
• United States
23 Sep 09
Hello, well... my husband is very helpful with household help but only when he comes back from work. he backs from work around 7pm... what can he do after dinner beside take care of children for a few hours. He does most of the things on weekend. sometimes, He knows that I want week to be relax days, so he does only when I am a sleep... he always take me out to the beach, shopping or go somewhere that I want to go. It is just too much work that I do during the day... I guess these are my last two children
@ibuemma (2954)
• United States
22 Sep 09
HI, smileonstar Welcome to the parenting world. It's hard because it really 365/24/7 ...but really just enjoy them when they are small. It's been 8 years since I got my real vacation ( I'm still MOM on vacation time ). And probably I need to wait another 10 yrs when both of my kids hit 18, that I finally get my break. It will get easier. Hang in there
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 09
lolz... thank you. I feel like not 365/24/7, I feel like 365/25hours/7 lolz.... i know there is only 24 a day but I feel like it more than I can handle. but they are still cute to me :)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164222)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Sep 09
smileonstar, sit your hubby down and tell him in the same words'as you have told us you are completely worn out, he has to help, for instance instead of sitting listening to his favorite programs on tv ask him to bathe the kids and get them ready for bed while you do the dishes, or better yet, sit down and let him do the dishes and bathe the kids and get them to bed.you are wo rking,and being a mom and a housewife, and caring for two children five and almost two, that is one big job, I did this with my husband and it gave me some hours to just sit and relax,it wont emasculate the hubby and he just might enjoy some time with his kids, they are his also. also see if you can get them both down for a nap in the afternoon,they should be little enouogh yet they could use that nap time so could you.
• United States
23 Sep 09
Hello, I know what you mean here... however my husband is also help once he home with us. Dinner time, he prepares the table, get me a drink and get children to eat. After dinner, he will play with the children, make sure they dont come and bother me while im doing my work. But they won't sleep if Im not there... I dont know why but I have to set those time for them. My husband also works as well, he takes place at work right after lunch, so then I have time to go to the bank, shopping for food, or take the kids from school. And last night, they called him back to work... so now I have to work all day like 12 hours or so and plus pick up the kids and do other works... my husband job will not allow him get off work until 5pm. He can take the kid to school only. Taking care of children is not hard for me but I just feel too much work around me... that sometimes I can't handle.
• Germany
25 Sep 09
Hi, smileonstar. Wow...you are indeed a busy woman. A full time worker, full time mom and full time housewife. Wow...you really impressed me. How can you cope with all these? You sound really stressed. What you need is give yourself a little break. Then you might feel better. I think you should have a talk with your hubby and let him know your situation. I believe he will help you to look after the kids and let you have some break. If i were you, i would be crazy and i would feel like a robot. Doing the works non-stop. And i would be mad if my hubby does not want to help me out. He is also the father of the kids. He has the responsibility to be with them too ;-) Talk to him and get some rest. Have a nice day and happy mylotting.