If your children are not excellent in their study,would you blame them?

@zhouxi (1756)
China
September 25, 2009 12:02am CST
my child is very clever.he likes many things.he likes nearly every sport! he is good at basketball.he studies in a very good school,his score is not good enough.he does n't study hard enough,i'm afraid he could n't admitted by university in the near future.if you have such a boy,would you often blame his?
6 responses
@CALLIBAN (278)
• Portugal
25 Sep 09
Well, I surely don´t beat him for being not excellent! You reminded me of myself. I also had lots of interests (and I still do!) and that was not good for me, because I didn´t focus, wanting to do everything but ending doing nothing. Can I ask how old is your son?
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
he is 17 years old.i think he should know everything.
@CALLIBAN (278)
• Portugal
25 Sep 09
No one knows everything and never will... What I wanted to say is that in some point of his life he will have to choose... 17 years? Don't worry! He is discovering now some of the best things...No wonder he doesn't study harder. Give him time. This is the best moment of his life or one of the best, I mean!
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
i don't have enough patient.his teacher give me some pressure too.
@Sleong (46)
• New Zealand
25 Sep 09
I dont have any children of my own yet, but when i do , and if my child isnt excellent in their studies, but are good at other things, i would n ot blame him or her for their lack of interest in studying but to praise them for what they are good at, and at the same time encourage them to give study a try and explan to them the consequences in the near future without proper eductaion.. I would not beat them or blame them or blame myself, because this child has his own personality and taste in things.. so i would still do my best to strive him to do his best in the sudies.. ^^
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
yes,i think he really needs more courage in study!
@Sleong (46)
• New Zealand
25 Sep 09
Yup! Definately... You are his encourager, only then will his courage blossoms XD
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
thanks for your suggestions.
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
No. I wouldn't blame the child because it isn't all her/his fault. Maybe I have or had done something that made her dumb or low. I'll encourage and tell her that there's always another time to prove yourself and excel... Maybe she's just a late bloomer. Everyone has a chance and time to change.
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
May be we made him discouraged .our blames are more than prises.
• United States
25 Sep 09
If he's applying himself and doing the best he can, then that's all you can ask. You just have to accept it. If he isn't applying himself, I would cut out extra curricular activities until he does better. No matter how good an athlete he is, no college will take him if his grades aren't up to par.
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
yes,we had tried.when we try to let him give up basketball,he is interested in otherthings.oh,god save me!
@shajerrl (311)
• China
25 Sep 09
No need to make your children excellent in every respect, we surely should the feeling of being blamed by our children as we all comes from son or daughter, Do you think it will make you struggle more for success after you blamed by your parents, maybe No. so i think you should let your children know how to learn and know the meaning of learning, so please pay more patience for your children education. More haster, less speed. by the way, now in China, since the colleage enrollment expansion, it is not difficult for a child to get into colleage, no need to worry about that. thanks
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
The competition is serious here.i'm afraid that he may lose the opportunity.I'm worried about that.
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
No, I am not yet a mother but i know the feeling of being a student and being blame by parents if they could not reach their high expectations on you. Their are people who manage to finish their studies and yet not able to uses or applies what he learn. because of being lazy in finding a job or sometimes they only finish a course or degree to be called educated and choose to be the boss of their own business instead. it is very hard to be blame for having failing grades or not studying enough. But, despite of this your child continue to studies the desire is still there, there is still hope and when he realize the values of education for his future he would strives hard. For the moment just gives advices gently and never ever gives harsh words as it may lower his confidence. instead coach him to studies hard and be inspire from the examples of other people.
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
25 Sep 09
some times i could n't help blaming him. i 'm not patient enough.