If it makes you feel uncomfortable, you can just leave!

@ParaTed2k (22971)
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
September 25, 2009 3:10am CST
Every few years the "nursing in public" issue returns to the Wisconsin state legislature and to the forfront of casual political discussion. Apparently it's that time again. This discussion isn't about nursing in public though (so please spare me the lectures). This is about the whole attitude of "if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you can just leave!". The whole purpose of the laws "allowing" nursing mothers to feed their babies anywhere and everywhere has to do with how people have made the mothers feel uncomfortable. Most have been passive actions, like staring, kids snickering or people making too big a gesture of overting their eyes. Other acts have been more overt, like talking about her loud enough for her to hear, pointing, or the most overt... someone walking up to her and telling her she should be doing that somewhere else. The common denominator in both the passive and overt gestures is, some people around her are feeling uncomfortable by what she is doing. They are letting her know how they feel, and if she is uncomfortable with that, she "can just leave". But the laws that protect women's rights to nurse their baby anytime, anywhere, anyhow pretty much turn the table. They shield the mother from anybody's feelings about what she is doing, no matter how she is doing it. She apparently is the only one in the public place whose feelings of discomfort matter. If anyone else in the room (including those who own the room) feel uncomfortable with anything from the act of nursing to the exposing of nipples, they don't matter one little bit. But if she is made to feel uncomfortable by anyone else, well then the perpetrator must be punished! So how is her comfort so important that it must be protected by law? Why does she get support while everyone else gets discriminated against? Why doesn't "if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you can just leave!" go both ways? Can anyone think of any other situation where the law discriminates against everyone in favor of one person's comfort? ::::::: Disclaimer for the Dense :::::::::: This discussion is NOT about whether or not I feel nursing in public is appropriate. I happen to think it is. If your comments on this topic are nothing but rants, lectures, explanations or anything else trying to "educate" me on the benefits of nursing, I will simply mark a negative rating and probably call you names for being dense and illiterate. The topic today is about COMFORT and why some people's comfort is somehow more important than others. ::::::: Disclaimer to the Dense :::::::::::::
3 people like this
5 responses
@laglen (19778)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I think we should let society and the free market decide. If you as a restaurant owner do not feel comfortable with what somebody is doing in your establishment, you should be able to say you may not do that here. If the customer does not like it, that customer can open their own place and allow such behavior. This, I think is called common sense. I do not think that any business owner should be forced to allow and not allow what they do not want.
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
27 Sep 09
Well this goes into the whole smoking thing. A lot of bar and small local restaurant owners were appalled at what happened with their business after all the NO SMOKING laws went into effect. I am not a smoker but I believe that an establishment owner should be able to say 'I want to allow smoking in my establishment' and they should be able to. I also believe an owner should be able to say 'I do not want smoking in my establishment' and that should be fine too.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22971)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
28 Sep 09
Laglen, that is the heart of the matter. The government is stealing property rights left and right, the weapons of choice are things like "smoking" and "nursing in public". Either way it is private citizens enabling the government to destroy the rights we have.
@N4life (851)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I'm not understanding this thread,guess I'm slow on the draw today. Are you saying that mothers should not be able to nurse in public?
1 person likes this
@N4life (851)
• United States
26 Sep 09
Guess my sarcasm is dense?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Sep 09
No, sorry. It's hard to recognize sarcasm on forums sometimes since we can hear tone of voice when we read and stuff. It's especially hard on Mylot because some of the people on this site are that dense. lol
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22971)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
28 Sep 09
N4Life, I do appreciate the sarcasm (and even encourage it), but make sure you emphasis the sarcasm with some sort of emoticon. ;~D
@irishidid (8712)
• United States
25 Sep 09
This is just an example of what I was speaking to jb about in another discussion where the rights of one become more important than the rights of another. This is exactly where liberals lost me in their concept it was okay for one to have certain rights over another.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22971)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
25 Sep 09
Define Institutional Discrimination: Your rights don't matter, only theirs do.
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
27 Sep 09
Whose rights are more important here though? I'd say the baby's right to feeding and since parents are supposed to care for their babies, that is more important than some stranger's personal issue. The baby doesn't have a choice here, either they eat or go hungry. The parents' responsibility in the matter is ONLY to their baby, so shame on the public for trying to interfere with or hamper their ability to care for their baby. I think the answer to this is public education so that people stop having issues with the unclothed human body. Nobody is born with CLOTHING ON. Get a grip people.
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8712)
• United States
27 Sep 09
Course the baby comes first. No one's arguing that point but to fling out a b@@b just because you can and it's natural? Peeing is natural too but do you really want to see some guy whip it out and take a leak in public?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Sep 09
Someone, somewhere is always going to be offended by something that someone else is doing. It is a never ending battle of trying to maintain an eqilibrium between groups of people with different ideals. Unfortunately i don't think any amount of laws in the world will result in everyone being comfortable with everything that others are doing in public places, unless of course the goverment puts a ban on people congragating in groups where they might possibly have to see things that make them uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22971)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
28 Sep 09
When we were adult enough to not look to government to kiss everything and make it all right this wasnt' an issue. Questions of comfort and discomfort in public were handled by individuals and community standards. If a man said or did something to offend a lady, she simply slapped him across the face. His embarrassment was enough to set him straight. But in our "enlightened" age, we don't allow for such things anymore. We simply don't care who is bothered by our actions, and if someone doens't like it, they can just go away. That attitude has created a society where the rudest, most obnoxious oaf has rights, but the rest of us are forced to just accept it.
@miamilady (4923)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I've been accused of oversimplification a time or two...Ted, I think sometimes our guilty of it as well.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4923)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I've been accused of not proofreading a time or two also.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4923)
• United States
28 Sep 09
wow...so much to respond to here! I love your disclaimer. I understand your point and I think this type of logic really applies to MANY situations. I am feeling particulary "dense" right now (i'll save you the trouble of calling me names yourself), so I can't share any of my own examples where this would apply but I just felt compelled to jump in and agree that there is always more than one point of view to any situation.
1 person likes this