the school lost my 5 year old today

United States
September 25, 2009 4:30pm CST
I went to pick up my 2 children from school. I do this every day as I have since the first day of school. When I got to the door of the kindergarden class where I meet her everyday. The sub told me that she walked home. I told her she never walks home. I talked to her the day before and today that it was a safety issue for my daughter as she is just getting the concept of going to school and having to be in a class room setting. So after searching for her and only 2 teachers were looking they never even notified the other staff that she was missing. My friend called me and said she had walked with their daughter. I was amazed because when I went to tell them I had found her they had the nerve to yell at my child. She knew she was in trouble and I was in charge of handing out the punishment. I told them they needed to find out why in the world the teacher would let a 5 year old out of her site. Tell me what you think and what you would do if faced with the same situation. I will be filing a grievance on Monday and maybe getting a hold of an attorney.
1 person likes this
11 responses
• United States
27 Sep 09
I can't beleive they let your child leave with someone that wasn't you, or wasn't someone who you had explicitly told them was ok for your child to go home with. That just brings up all kinds of scary possibilities of someone showing up at a school and saying "Mrs. so and so said little johnny was to go home with me today" an the school saying ...."oh..ok" with out any permissions from you!....luckily it WAS a friend ofyours, and not someone with ulterior motives. I would be gibing the school a piece of my mind...if not writting an editorial to the paper and making a big public stink about it!!!
• United States
26 Sep 09
Hello, This is just my opinion ok, so please don't take my personal opinion the wrong way or personal, your situation is one of the reason why I do not trust my children out of my site, I choose to do a home school program, with get together school trips interaction puposes. I think you are doing the correct things to resolve this issue, five years old is much to young to be responsible for his/her own self, I hope everything works out, my apologies goes out to your daughter.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
26 Sep 09
The school that my kids go to does not allow the younger kids, even the first graders to leave their site without a designated person there to pick them up. They have to visually see that each child is with the right person before the child can leave. I think that this is a great thing and really helps with the safety of our kids. It really bothers me that not only did that teacher not make sure that your child was safe, but they actually yelled at her?! A child that age is going to do what they feel is okay at the moment. My daughter, who is only in the 2nd grade this year doesn't always undersatand the importance of waiting for me or her brother. The first week of school, she took it upon herself to walk to her friend's house rather than coming home as she knew she should.Needless to say, she got into big trouble. If a 7 year old will do this, a 5 year old would probably do it a lot faster. I am thankful that your little one was safe and that you found her quickly. I imagine that you were quite frantic when you couldn't find her and extremely relieved when you did. Let's hope that this was a lesson to the teachers at that school.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
26 Sep 09
Oh my god. That was terrible. I guess I will freak out too if this is my child. They should not have let the kid go off by themselves at all times. Can just check how big is her class, as the teacher should not let any kid out of their sight? Well, I have 2 young children as well. I guess I'm lucky that such situations had not happened as they had a good system here. When the door opens, they will see that whose parents is here, and will call out the child to leave one by one. For those parents who are late, they will then bring the remaining children to the office to wait for the parents. The system there is the same, and each kid is let out when the parent or guardian comes.
@gossipzz (498)
• Canada
25 Sep 09
That is really awful. Where I am from You need permission for anyone to pick up a 5 year old. It has to be written down who is picking up the child. This also requires id. Alot of children go missing and end up hurt. Being a sub does not give her an excuse she should have been giving rules and regulation when she started. I would have to go through with some legal action at this.
• Philippines
26 Sep 09
What a horrible situation to happen! First of all, thank goodness your daughter is alright and nothing untoward happened to her. Definitely file that grievance with the school ASAP! The teachers should NEVER have let a 5 year old off school premises without an authorized fetcher. I don't think class size should ever be an excuse. Sure, it's harder for teachers to keep track of students when they have a large class size, but then again, when we drop off our kids at school we expect the school to take full responsibility for our children while in their care. Small class sizes are much better for the students and the teacher, but since that is not an option in many areas, they should not let it undermine out kids' security. I am also shocked that the teachers had the audacity to yell at your daughter for something that is THEIR FAULT. I am quite disgusted at how they handled the situation. In my own experience, I am fortunate that my son goes to a school with very strict security measures in place. Fetchers are required to present an ID to the security guard which has the student's name, the parents or guardian's name and contact numbers. Whoever fetches the kids also have to be placed on a "white list" at the school. If the person fetching the kids are not on the authorized list of fetchers, a call to the parents or guardian in made before the child is released. I attended a school with a very similar set-up when I was in elementary and highschool.
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I don't know how large your child's class is. Thank God she was OK. Sounds like the teachers did not handle this situation well at all. A missing child is serious business. I alternate with my son in picking up my high-functioning autistic grandson who is now 7 years old. I don't even know how I would have acted if they told me that baby was missing. One day when he was six, he rode the bus home when he was supposed to wait to be picked up. We were making the change from riding the bus to being picked up from school. The school did not know if he got on the bus or not. The teacher remembered that he was going to be picked up that day. She did not remember seeing him get on the bus. The whole family was in an uproar. Like you, the teachers at the school did not seem that concerned in my estimation. The personnel in the office claimed they could not contact the bus driver. Luckily, my son had collected the cell phone numbers of everyone who came in contact with his child, the bus driver and each of his teachers. He contacted the bus driver, verified that he was on the bus and everything was OK. He had such a sad little face when he got off the bus and said "I forgot." You gotta love 'em. He has not forgotten since. In your case, I don't think I would get an attorney involved on a first time. I would raise holy he** so they know it is not acceptable for a 5 year old child to just walk off like that. I would put the teachers on notice that if anything happens to my child or any other child at that school, this counts as once and it has been duly noted. Next, I would do everything in my power to be there when that bell rings to let school out so when my daughter walks out of the classroom, I am there. (I am there when the bell rings at my Grandson's school so he walks out to me - no waiting). I would ask for a meeting with the principal to discuss the incident so perhaps all teachers can be briefed on how to keep track of children and how to handle it should a child come up missing. Let the principal know how you felt when you thought your child was missing. Let him or her know how poorly the teaching staff handled the situation and what you feel should have been done. If you think this is a systemic problem, take it to the school board. If the teachers followed procedures, then maybe something needs to be changed throughout the school district.
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
25 Sep 09
I think regarding the fact itself that the school didn't had the common sense and criteria not to take care of the child and letting her go by herself like in this case, you are in your right to do whatever it is in your hands to put them straight or at least point it out for everybody to know it.
@littleone3 (2063)
25 Sep 09
This is terrible how on earth did they manage to lose her. I can't believe they just let her go. I would most definitely take the matter further if it happened to any of my children Something similar happened to one of my friends her daughter was in Nursery at the time and she walked out noone actually noticed she was missing until she knocked on her mums door which meant that she had actually crossed a very busy road on her own. Her Mum had phoned the nursery and asked what was happening and how on earth did her daughter manage to leave it turned out some one had left one of the gates open. My friend went to our local paper and the story was on the front page as she wanted to warn other parents but she did not take things any further than that. She said she did not blame the school either
• United States
25 Sep 09
OMG...this scenario is exactly what I dealt with when my son was small! When my son was in kindergarten, the school put tags on their shirts, telling the bus driver where to drop the kids off. My son, at that time, was supposed to be dropped off at the day care center each day, because I worked full time. So the tag gave that address. However, on the bus address list, it had his actual address, but all drivers were instructed to look at the tag. It took preference over the list they had on record. Well, unfortunately they dropped him off at our home, when noboy was home. He sat there screaming until neighbors heard him, and they took him in. The day care center called me at work to tell me that he had not been dropped off at their place. When I went to the school to voice my complaint, they acted like it was not their fault. I then called the Bus Company, and while they apologized for the mistake, my son was never the same after that day. Every morning, when I dropped him off, I literally had to pull him from the car, to go into the school, and at times the teacher had to come out and help me. I should have sued the Bus company, but not being the suing type, I overlooked it. But when I think back of the trauma they did to him, they deserved more than a slap on the wrist. I suggest that you do whatever you have to do to make sure this never happens again, to your child or to any other child. Go to the superintendant of the schools if necessary...because they need to make your child safe at all times. If they can't handle it, they shouldn't be there.
• United States
25 Sep 09
Oh My! Do what you have to do girl! They had no right to let your daughter walk with someone else without your permission! That is so irresponsible! And to top it off for them to yell at your own daughter knowing that is was their fault! I am so glad that I was not in your shoes I think I would have been ballistic! Good luck on Monday and I ope that everything goes well! Have a nice one!