Has "Love" Destroyed You?

United States
September 28, 2009 1:59pm CST
Love is supposed to be good thing. It is supposed to conquer all. It is meant to better your life and open your eyes to much more positive things in life. Am I right with this? How do you define love, and what do you truly expect from it? Anything? Well, like many of you I am sure, I have had my fair share of heartaches due to "love." I was tangled in a few relationships that altered my views in trust, respect, and sanctity in which love was devastatingly misjudged. I, at one time, gave the "losers" all I had to give, praying for changes in heart and that things would in fact get better. But of course, with any failing-or dead- relationship, love will not work because it wasn't love in the first place. Now I am finding myself fighting for what seems like my sanity in a current relationship. I am jealous, untrusting, and just miserable sometimes. I cannot forgive anymore-not like I used to. I don't take pride in my self and my self esteem is shot. My current beau did something that hurt my feelings in a terrible way a year ago-and I have yet to get over it, even though we have talked about it a million times. We fight constantly because I just can't get over things and believe what he tells me-which means I can't forgive him. So, again "love" is pushing me in all the wrong directions, and I can't move forward at all. I have been stuck in the same place emotionally for a year. That's not progress. So my question is-I think all the bad relationships and the hurts that have come along with them, I realize that I will never achieve a true, selfless love with someone. I understand that love and devotion require work, but in my opinion, it shouldn't be this hard. Has anyone been through this? Please share....please do! I have told him that I just can't do it, and he in turn tells me I am copping out and things are going to get better. But I feel that I have been unecessarily depressed for this long and am maxed out in stress because I SHOULDN'T be in a relationship. I realize that my issues create a huge strain on the relationship, but he insists that I need someone there with me to help. I disagree the majority of the time. I certainly don't want someone there who I don't even fully trust, which is petty-but a real reason. If you can't be your best in a relationship, and it causes you to be more sad than happy, then wouldn't anyone see that now is not the right time, or maybe that person is just better off alone?
3 responses
• United States
29 Sep 09
Yes love has destroyed me but you know what you get to the point where love doesnt matter anymore and that is a really really bad thing. You just have to know that if hes not in your life then he wasnt worth it. And dont think that you will never reach a good love couse it will arrive soon or later dont worry. The perfect men doesnt exist but it will exist a men that you can trust and be respectful. Good Luck!
@hotsummer (13811)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
i just feel the way you feel now. it is quite a crazy experience. i actually don't know how to move forward myself. i just get so jealous so easily. i feel so helpless inside. but in a way you have different situation as you are in longer relationship but me i am just starting. and my problem is i don't have actually relationship but only always prospects. i always fail to get the interest of person i am interested with. some get interested but i don't know how to explain this thing but all i can say i feel the same misery the way you are feeling right now.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
As far as defining what 'LOVE' is exactly, well to me it's sharing, careing and always looking forward to being with this special person. Cruelly, love can, and in many cases is so one sided that only one partner is giving, and the other taking, well this doesn't fit my definition of sharing. In my case, princess, I didn't find love until I was well into my fifties, but I have found it. Sometimes, however, I have to remind myself, that I have to raise my game. She does so much for me, that I have to try and balance the ledger. For example, I might be sitting, reading a book, when I'm asked to do a simple chore, instead of sayng I'm reading, things she does for me without question flash into my head and I react immediately. Of course we have had arguements, but they never last past a change in conversation topic. We forget. I did go through many relationships to get to this stage, but luckily have founr my life long partner. Take care, and good luck. Mike.