How old should you be to have kids?

@themdno (402)
United States
September 28, 2009 6:34pm CST
I know a lot of young parents, who had kids when they were 16-17 years old. Out of all the people I know who had kids early, none of the couples are still together. Most of the mothers are struggling to get through school, but they have another person to take care of every day. Then, it puts strain on the grandparents, because they're the ones who are picking up the slack. Obviously, they should have waited a little longer, but hindsight is 20/20. So, what I'm wondering is, how old do you think people should wait until they start having kids? I think 18 year old's are still way too young to be having children. Personally, I think people should have their first child in their mid 20's or later. That gives you time to get your own life together, before you're responsible for someone else. What do you think?
2 people like this
20 responses
@lcainiao (201)
• China
29 Sep 09
The problem always spoil my life recently. I got married last year. My wife and I haven't a plan to have a kid. However, nowadas, my wife's mother often asks us what's the plan of having a baby. Everyday I though about the income and house for the baby, I can't provide a pretty environment for the family at the moemnet so I want to think about it later. I hope that have a baby at my 30 years-old.
1 person likes this
@themdno (402)
• United States
29 Sep 09
You and I are in the same boat. I really want to wait so I can properly take care of my kid. It wouldn't be fair to have a kid, and not have money to pay the bills, or buy food.
• United States
29 Sep 09
I agree with you. And I think most of the young parents that are 16-17 werent looking to have children, which I think, is a big part of the problem. Those that are in their 20's are adults and know when they are ready for that responsibility. As for me? I am 20 now and I would like to have children around 25. But before that, I most importantly want to make sure I am married and that we are stable financially. And only adults in their 20's can really start heading toward being ready to have children.
1 person likes this
@themdno (402)
• United States
29 Sep 09
I'm 26 now, and wouldn't mind waiting until around 30. I'm still not financially ready, and I think it would make mine and the child's life hard. I can't even imagine what it would have been like having a kid 10 years ago.
@dorannmwin (36656)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I was 22 and my husband was 27 when our first child was born. I'd seen many of my friends struggle through life after having their first child when they were very young so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. However, the transition that I went through being at the point of my life that I was in was a lot easier than what they had gone through when they had their first children. For me, I always said that I wanted to have my children young and be done by the time I was 30. This worked great because I was mature enough to know how to raise a child and young enough to be able to keep up with them.
1 person likes this
@themdno (402)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Sounds like you picked the perfect time to have kids! I think it mostly boils down to when you're financially ready, unless you're in a rich family, and you have money at 16. Then, you need to wait until you're emotionally ready. Everybody is ready at a different time, well, actually, most people are never ready!
@anna728 (1499)
• United States
28 Sep 09
A lot of my friends became teen parents, and it didn't work out very well for them either. Not to criticize them, but generally speaking I don't think it's the best idea. I think it is best to wait until you are completely independent from your parents, are finished with your education, and have steady income and housing. I suppose this comes at a different time in different people's lives. But probably late twenties to thirties is best. Then again, it isn't great to wait too long either, because as the mother gets to be older it is more likely for a birth defect or other complication to occur, so it probably isn't best to wait until like 50 either.
@themdno (402)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Yeah, I'm definitely not trying to criticize them. It was a mistake to have kids so young, but they all know that, and they're doing the best they can to raise their kids. But, you make a good point, that you can't wait too long. For one, health reasons, but also, who wants to be raising a 16 year old when they're 55-60 years old? Think about the generation gap between parents and their kids, and think about how bad it would be when you have that many years between you...
• China
29 Sep 09
Now I am near 30 years old.My wife and i want to have a child now.To have a child is not very easy for women of 35 years old or older.So we had better not prepare to have baby too late. It is also not a good idea to have a baby too young.Some people can't even attend themselves and have a baby or more.That is irresponsible.If we have a good job and have prepared to have a baby,it is the time to have a baby.
@themdno (402)
• United States
29 Sep 09
That's the dilemma, it's either you have one too early, or wait too long, until you either can't or shouldn't do it. I think it's better to wait, until your 20's, then you can decide what is best, instead of what you want right now.
• India
30 Sep 09
having children in an younger age is not s problem, but people may misteke it.........
@ucue2008 (926)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 09
Having kids earlier is good, if you know how to manage. Imagine, you have your child at the age 20, and by the age of 40, your child is already 20, so you don't have to be stressed out to handle things for a younger child as at the age 20, your child know how to handle herself better than when you having a child at the age 30, and at the age 50, while your bone is not so strong yet need to handle your small child. As the age gap is not too big, therefore, you also can become closer to your kids easier
@EliteUser (3966)
• Australia
30 Sep 09
Hey, Well to tell you the truth, it doesn't really matter what age you have kids at, as long as you can financially support them and are mature enough to, then it is all good. I personally wouldn't want to have kids any earlier than 23 or something like that. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
29 Sep 09
i think you should have kids when you are old enough and responsible enough to have them which means footing the bill for them and not relying on the government to do so.
• United States
29 Sep 09
There shouldn't be an age restriction because each culture is different. As long as the individuals have an understanding, an open-mind, and ability to listen to good advice, then that should be a general basis for having children. Younger adults doing their research ahead of time, factoring in costs, and social issues, they will be better off than older couples who just have kids for the sake of spreading their legacy.
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
29 Sep 09
Hi themdno,I do think that 16-17 is way way too young. I have seen a select few that have been in that spot and pull it together and are very good parents....even if the relationship doesn't work. Those ones are rare. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first & 20 when I had her. I'd say even that was too young. I was married and it was planned and I felt I was ready. Looking back, I had so so much growing up still to do. I did ok with it but the marriage didn't. I got re-married later on and and my other girls while 30 and up. I feel I was a much better parent at this point in my life. Thing is, you don't realize it when you are in your teens and early 20's but you go thru so so many changes. What seems perfectly fine at 17 or 18 is not at all what you want when you are 25. Things like babies and marriage etc are life time commitments. Sometimes it all works out fine but all too often you'll find yourself looking back and wondering how different your life would be if you'd made different choices....even if you make the best of those choices you made.
@Zaneclan (68)
• India
29 Sep 09
The best age to have kids is the age when one is mentally, physically, emotionally and financially matured. Most teen parents may be matured physically or in rare cases financially but they are never completely matured mentally and emotionally. Thus leading to a divorce in such teen couples which is not beneficial for a child in any way.
@jaiho2009 (38989)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
Hello friend, If we say about age,of course pre-teens are not well prepared to enter such parenthood stage.16-20 are still young to become parents. But,there are youngsters who were matured and thinks more matured than mid-20's or early 30's. In my opinion,we can never tell when or what age is the right to have kids and become a parent.Not all matured people 25 and up are really matured enough to handle such situation. It is an individual choice,when to start a family. But,i won't give consent or i won't agree with early age(16-20)to have babies coz,they are in a way are still babies.
• India
29 Sep 09
Mid twenties ids definitely the right time to have kids. Before this one's normally income is not good enough to sustain a child and a few years later shall be too late because one would be close to retirement while the child has not completed his studies. Teens is certainly not the right time to have kids because the full impact of the responsibility of parenthood comes a little later. An eighteen year old is still a child mentally in some ways (it varies from person to person ) and not capable of having one.
• Romania
29 Sep 09
I think tis is a veri good questin!!i have got a lot of friends who becamed parents very early, i think you have got a lot of things to do before becoming mother or father!first thing is the school, university after that try to find a job to get your own money every month, when the basics are done you can think to a family, i think the best age is 26 - 29!this is just my opinion:D
@phayeth (519)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
i don't know..co'z alot of teenagers now a day have kids..
• United States
29 Sep 09
I think you should only have kids once you are able to afford them, both financially, and emotionally. The number itself doesn't matter but for the average person it's probably the late 20s. If you are having children while you are still in your parents house, it's rare to actually take responsibility for them. The grandparents raise them. Still there are people in their 30s that are deadbeats, and completely emotionally void, and they shouldn't have children based on their age. With higher education being more and more necessary for financial success the age of the first child keeps getting pushed back. This is problematic since there is a time limit especially for women. I can't justify having children until I'm married for a few years and I can't justify getting married until I have a career and my student loans paid off. I'll be lucky if I'm in my early 30s when I start to think about reproducing. However I went to high school with people who have kids in grade school, I just graduated college. How are those kids going to turn out raised by an uneducated, unambitious mother (where's the daddy? who knows). Unfortunately the number of those kids will outnumber the children of educated parents who wanted to invest in their children and do everything to guarantee their success. That's how you get a huge gap between the rich and the poor.
29 Sep 09
I am planning to have kids between the gae of 26-35. I think 18 years old is still young. I am 20 and I really can't imagine myself having a baby at this age.
• Canada
29 Sep 09
I agree with you, I think 18's too young. I think that probably most of those aren't together because they don't know how to act in a relationship. Marriage is hard enough but then you add young people and kids and you're just asking for trouble. Young people also don't know how to control their temper too. Which results in a lot murders, namely the children.
@daliaj (5683)
• India
29 Sep 09
I think the parents should be above 20 years old to have kids. I don't say that it must be the age limit. The important part is if the parents are mature enough to take care of the kid and more than that if they have enough money to spend for the kid and take care of the kid in a better way. There is no point in having a kid being the parents in bankrupt and destroy the future of the child.