Is it a good idea to be a good friend of your boss?

China
October 2, 2009 4:21am CST
One of my friends told me that he already become a good friends of his boss, they play gulf together, go to do morning exercise together, because they life nearby, and they sometimes will go out for dinner together, and talk about their personal affairs. But he told me that, sometimes he does not very good at work, his boss will scold him, like he scold the other employees. That makes him feel very uncomfortable. and sometimes he would think maybe he should be more far away from his boss, but after the work, the boss smile to him again, and they are friends still! I suggested him don't think too much, work is work, life is life, we should not mix them together. during working time, he is his boss, during personal time, he is his friend, differnet time, differnet relation! Though he admit that I was right, but to treat the same person differently in different time is not that easy... After discussion with him, I was wondering, is it a good idea to become a good friends of his/her own boss? I would like to hear your opinions.
7 responses
@much2say (35848)
• United States
4 Oct 09
Yes and no. I was in a situation where I was good friends with my boss . . . we had a blast! I was even sort of part of the family (as it was a family business). Work was a pleasant situation - we all got along - it was fun to be there to pass the working day through! The downside to it - my boss later on admitted that he had a crush on me. Ugh. I just wanted to be friends. It was a bit awkward after that. But we were friends enough that we sat down and could talk about it. Another downside. I was also friends with his sister who was my age, but her temper and work ethics were really horrible. It got to the point where we could no longer stand each other . . . so I had a talk with "the boss". His words were that she was his sister, and because his parents had a say in the business, there was nothing he could do about her being there. I realized then that he really couldn't be a "boss" in this situation - so I quit. Work and personal life can be mixed, but there are some gray areas.
• China
5 Oct 09
hello mush2say, thank you very much for your sharing. well, seems that your friends company is a family company, and your relation with them is complicated. And I agree with your that your friend really shouldn't be a boss, for 2 points, he crush on his employee, and he hire his own sister, that means it will be hard for him to control/ manage that company, unless he is a very tough man, unfortunity, from your words, he is not. So my point still is, it is not a good idea to become too closer to your boss. I think it is a good idea you leave that company, since if you still there, you won't be happy.
@irene3184 (900)
• Philippines
3 Oct 09
I think the boss of your friend just did his part being a boss. Work and personal matter cannot be combine to one. The boss of your friend is a good leader, he never choose anyone neither a friend from their company who is going to be scolded when someone commit a mistakes. So, for me, it is very okay to be friend with your boss as long as you set boundaries and the respect is always there.
• China
3 Oct 09
hell irene, thanks for sharing your opinion, yeah, noe matter what kind of relation bond them together, friends or boss and employees, they are human beings anyway, and mutual respect should always be placed in the first place.
@Jhaszy (236)
• Philippines
3 Oct 09
Welllike a teacher to students,when inside you need to treat students as students and discipline or correct them when students are wrong..but when out of the school premises yes can be good friends..she shouldnt take it personally..i want to be treated that way too when in work...fair as they say..i dont want to be called pet or the favorite..have nice weekend..pls try to check the discussion ive opened some opinion too if u have..just new hear started yesterday...
• China
3 Oct 09
hello, jhaszy, welcome to mylot and thank you for sharing your opinion. There does have some disavantages if a person is too close to his/her superior. rumors would comes easily about your relationship with the superios, and people are easy to be hurt, even you are an excellent person, people would doubt about your ability.
@cripfemme (7713)
• United States
3 Oct 09
It depends. I've only been allowed to work for almost three years. You see, the rules for working disabled individuals will change in January. I got two jobs around the same job. In both cases, I was good friends with my bosses before getting hired. In one case, I actually went to jail for civil disobedience in front of my boss at a protest. My boss was actually younger than me. We worked on producing the content of a website geared toward disabled individuals. The first time I actually got to know him in person was in a D.C. jail. I know that's an extreme situation, but I've always found that you get along better if you like the people for whom you work and the people who work for you. In my life, I have done both. I think the key is to remember that everyone is human.
• China
3 Oct 09
hello cripfemme, thank you for sharing. yeah, since everyone is human, with emotion, so since everybody knows they are friends, if the boss treats my friend better, that's also understandable, I think, but he didn't, he seems different person when at work and after work. No matter what, in our life, mutual respect is the most important thing.
@jpso138 (7863)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
I think there is no problem with that as long as you have limits. Remember that your boss is your boss. When its time for work, then there must be a gap or barrier. It would be unfair to other employees if there is none. Otherwise there will be bias and envy which will create rift between co workers and then you will be the object of envy. A problem will then arise most especially if you are promoted, people might think that you are promoted simply because of your closeness with the boss and not because of your performance.
• China
2 Oct 09
yeah you got a point here, boss should be fair to his employees, at least pretend to be fair so that other employees won't feel imbalance in their heart. The only reason that boss treat you better, is that you are doing good and more excellant than others.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
2 Oct 09
I think it is ok to be friends with the boss, but I dont think they should be allowed to work under that person as it can cause conflict and favortisim amongst other employees.It can also cause a strain on the work relationship as the boss feels guilty because this person is a friend.
• China
2 Oct 09
hello erikmama, thank you for sharing, yeah I agree with you, both boss and employees are human beings, human beings has emotional, is any scold pour onto the employees, both boss and employees may hurt emotionally, this may let them frustrated.
@maezee (38864)
• United States
3 Oct 09
I am friends with my boss to a certain extent; and to me, it's OK to a certain extent. I wouldn't say that taking the relationship OUTSIDE of work or OUTSIDE of the office is a good thing, though. Keeping a friendly relationship in the work place has definitely made the last 2 years of working at the dry cleaners a breeze! The only problem is that sometimes it's hard to take "criticism" from a boss that has become your "friend". It's just.. weird feeling!