i CANNOT stand my drunken father! Ugh!

@maezee (40918)
United States
October 4, 2009 1:32am CST
Here's my rant-discussion for the day. I'm 19 and still live with my dad while I work part-time and go to school full-time. He is an alcoholic, and while I've come to peace with that aspect of his life, I still cannot stand his drunken ramblings at midnight - 5,6, or 7 days out of the week. I'm usually locked in my room, writing or reading or trying to catch up on homework - and while he drunkenly cooks or sits in the kitchen doing his loud, obnoxious, drunken monolog for half an hour to an hour. It literally makes me cringe and want to start punching walls when I hear him - because when he's drunk, he literally nags about everything, like how he can't wait until I move out, and how much electricity I take up of his, and stuff like that. And after his rant, he'll always say "I love you" - but I literally end up screaming at him to shut the bleeep up. I am so incredibly sick of dealing with this for the last 7 years. It is his house, but I'm in no financial shape (struggling to pay tuition!) to move out, and my mom's out of the picture. What's worse is that there's no "right" way of dealing with him at this point. Yelling at someone who's hammered-beyond-belief is a waste of time, and actually gets THEM aggravated as well, and ignoring them.. just doesn't work for me anymore. My main issue is not that he is a drunk / alcoholic - as that ship has come and went - but my main issue is that I get so annoyed when I'm around loud, obnoxious, and INSULTING drunk people that I literally do not know what to do anymore. Especially when I'm sitting in my room and trying to do homework. I'm sure all of you have had a taste of what that's like (and now try to imagine it for 7-8 years). It's coming up a lot more now, because as I'm getting older - he has more TO nag about (now in addition to me taking up space and using too much electricity, I'm also over 18 - so he can officially complain about me getting my own place and whatnot), and because I'm out with friends less often at night. I have an early morning job now, so I like to be in by about 10 at the latest. As soon as my father steps in, should I leave and go for a run until he's settled and sleeping? Should I take a couple swigs of vodka as he starts his nightly drunken rants, to get to his "level"? So at least we're on the same page? Or should I kneel down and take it, because I am after all nineteen WHOLE years old and I should technically be on my own. What do you think? I'm super upset right now, and I'm sorry if you feel like I shouldn't have started this discussion. It is my official "rant" discussion but if you have any similar experiences or something I'd love to hear them, along with suggestions. Thanks, as always.
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
5 Oct 09
my pepa is the same wat he gets up at 9 goes to the bar and stayes there all day
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
4 Oct 09
Hi maezee. Wow, I don't know what to say. But one thing is for certain, don't go and drink too just because he is drunk. If you haven't tried so already, play along with him and tell him he is right. It doesn't mean that he is, because he most certainly isn't, but play along anyway. Just agree with whatever he is saying. It just might throw him for a loop and it might just shut him up. Good luck!
@lelin1123 (15635)
• Puerto Rico
4 Oct 09
First please don't start drinking to get to his level. That would only make things worse. I really feel so bad for you that you don't have your mother and then you have your father who is acting this way. I would just stay in your room with music playing in your ear till he goes to bed while doing your homework or writing.If not maybe ear plugs would help you so you don't have to hear him when he starts ranting. Going for a run if its dark outside is certainly not a good idea at all. You could set up a schedule where you can spend a couple of nights at the library doing your work? So you don't have to deal with him every single day. If you go to the library and leave once it closes. Then another night how about the mall at the food court you can do your work there. Hopefully when you get home he will be asleep. I wish you nothing but the best. I pray for you to have the patience to get thru this. Take care and May God Bless you.
@tutul0045 (2630)
• India
4 Oct 09
Hi, Thats awful to hear. I can only imagine the pain u must be going through. In my family no one drinks, not even in social gatherings. So I dont know how to deal with drunk people. What i can say though as you are 19 and u already facing so many problems, u can rent or share an apartment with some one. A lot of my bachelor friends go to differant states to work and they do it like that also. If u share your apartment with 4-5 girls then probably your rent will be very less too. Iam suggesting this as u wrote its happening for 7 long years. As he hasnt given uo yet, he wont do it in the coming years as well. So be a lil bold and try to make a living of your own. I know its easiar said that done. But then u have to decide quickly. The worst step would be you starting to drink as well. Dont give up and dont be a loser. Cheers, Tutul