lovelife mess up studies????
October 4, 2009 2:25am CST
i am so much strict with my two(2)sisters to not be in relationship right now .. because they are both in school right now....i want them to focus their studies first.. i am thinking sometimes, do i am so much protective to them??/ but you know what.. i never ask anything to them in return but to finish their studies ... because that is only for them to have a good future.. i am just to worried for all those i saw nowadays, student that suddenly get pregnant... and or else could have a boyfriend that can probably bring them to wrong way....that is what i worried so much.,... because as their provider that is very hard to send them in a good school ..... what do you think i am doing the right thing????
2 people like this
• United States
4 Oct 09
No, I don't. First of all, they are your SISTERS, you are NOT their parent. You are responsible for yourself, NOT THEM. If I were one of your sisters, I would both resent and dislike you.... and that is probably putting it MILDLY. I am the oldest of my siblings and I would never tell them what they could and could not do as far as relationships. That is their business. It would probably likely drive me right into a relationship, even if it wasn't the right one. I'd do it anyway, just because you were being a jerk about the whole thing. Life is not strictly studies. Life is balance. Without balance, life is NOTHING. Put yourself in their shoes, you may actually rethink your perspective here. I hope they learn to stop being bullied by you and soon.
5 Oct 09
hi.. thank you for lending your ears on my topic... but you know what i know that you we are in different culture and you did not understand what i am trying to say... we are so close family ties...i know that protecting them has a limitation... and you did not know too that i am the one sending them to school...... and to let you know... i sent them to school and not asking in return but i just want them to finish... and before that..my parents entrusted me... to take care of my sisters and protect them..... .. and thank you so much by the way of your violent reaction!!!! lol
5 Oct 09
If your really love your sister, just give them freedom to learn the thing called "life". All you can do is just looking at them and help them get through the hard time. You should let them grow up by themself first. How can they survive in this dangerous world if you don't let them learn, Sometime life could be unkind,and your sister had better face it,she cann't be naive for all the way of life. i know you love your sister, you might feel like you were her parent as you said that you responsible for sending her to school,But please think about it,Your sister should be treat by this way? block from having relationship??? nobody like to be in frame, everyone love freedom to learn, to do what they love, ..if your sister like to have boyfriend, what's wrong? ..nothing..,when she broken heart, she would learn from that experience,,she will become a big girl who ready for the world. remember, you cann't always take care of her, last but not least, .."everyone has their own world"
• Pasay, Philippines
18 Feb 10
I totally understand you as provider and you are working hard because part of your earnings are for your sisters' tuition fee. I also understand your concern that you want them to finish their studies. But I don't believe that lovelife itself would mess up studies of every students. Because it is really DEPEND on a PERSON on how to deal with it including her maturity. It is natural to be in love during teenage years, they really tend not to concentrate on their studies because of the problems with their partners. It also depend on a partner that they have chosen they can be an inspiration, a good role model or a failure. It is not good to be that strict because at times you will be challenge in an opposite manner like they want to do whatever they want that is against your will until the time that they will get the consequences. Of course you don't want that to happen with your sisters but worrying too much is not good anymore. Only have to do is to trust them and advise them to unwind because focusing too much on studies not either good.
6 Oct 09
I don't think you can forbid young girls to be in a relationship. If they think that they are in love (or really are), they will be in that relationship. By trying to stop them, you will only force them to spend a lot of time on how to hide that fact from you, leaving them less time to study. I think it is much more important to be honest with them and to believe that they were brought up in the right way. There is protection against pregnancy. And if they understand how important school is you can always agree deals with them, e.g. certain times they need to study and can't go out (e.g. before exams) or how late they can go out. If you know about their love life, you can help them. If you don't they'll try to figure life out by themselves. And that's much more dangerous than having a boyfriend!
6 Oct 09
That depends. Sometimes it helps you cheer up and be motivated in studying harder. Sometimes, it influences people in a bad way. Women get pregnant or they ran away with their boyfriends because parents won’t allow them to go out. But a little talk with your sisters would be enough. Don’t make it a daily habit, it would choke them. Tell them good things for their future but don’t tell them boyfriend is not good for them now. I think that’s not necessary.
5 Oct 09
It really depends. I guess you should be stricter to the point of putting your sisters "candidates" to test, and if chances were that you think they'd be persons not interfering with their studies and making their love life go happier,you should then maybe give the kids a choice. Otherwise, keep it the way it is.
5 Oct 09
Well, you are not doing the wrong thing, it is (for me) very good to control your still-studying-sisters and keep them on the right path of studying. I believe you have one glorious destination, which is hoping them finish their study and have one good future. But we have to remember when dealing someone who is in love. Well, love is blind, I have to admit it. And because of this, your sisters can be blinded and see nothing about your precious hope but your restriction upon them.
4 Oct 09
I think.. sometime love life mess up studies.. when you get deeply love to someone.. and when she/he leave you..and you were upset.. so i think..it is depend on the person...that he/she maintain a distance between love life and studies.. if you are maintain a distance between love life and your studies..then you will never faces problem with your study..
4 Oct 09
Jenely, U r absolutely right.But too much restriction can bring a negative situation.School life age is a critical stage.A guy who give a simple attention to the girl....the girl can start falling in love without thinking of the reality.In fact its not the age to face the reality...Its a day dream age.But if u as a sister can be their best friend then they will feel comfortable to share their point of view.Try to make fun with them and travel where they want to go.I wish they can understand u.
4 Oct 09
I would be surprised if you don't care at all. You are doing the right thing and have the right to be. After all it is their future that you are concerned about. To put limitations on what they can do as a sister is preferable than to sacrifice them in the altar of this world that will ruin their future. Keep up the good work. cheers!
4 Oct 09
well it all depends on your sisters, you have to assess all this things. If you know that your sister are responsible people and smart. you can make a deal with them where you allow them to to have a relationship provided they will maintain there high grades and never get pregnant until they finish schooling and get a proper job first. you can make a deal with them that they will only get married too before they get pregnant by a certain age. but this is not just the case you should also tell them that you will also allow them if first you must meet the guy so you can see if the guy is a educated person or not. you can even talk to the guy too you know, you have right so use it. rather that later you find out that your sisters are having a relationship behind your back.
4 Oct 09
I admire you because I know you only want what is good for your sisters. I just want to warn you that sometimes being so protective can cause your younger sisters to rebel. I suggest to have a good relation with your younger sisters, open up to them so that they will naturally think that you understand them and open to you more often. In this way, they won't see you as a threat that prohibits them in handling their own lives. Happy mylotting:)
4 Oct 09
Boyfriends, or a lover, is never a distraction unless you make them... I have been there, and based on my experience, the more my parents forbid me to have one, the more I want to have one... I think you should trust them more that they would not do stupid things, it's okay to have a boyfriend, as long as you know what should come first, and the consequences if you make a mistake... The more you trust them, the more they won't want to break that trust.
4 Oct 09
These days we see many gals and guys moving fast in terms of love and making wrong moves. Parents and elderly people need to educate guys and gals that they must be enough matured before they invite any new relationship. In your case what you are doing is right, but see to it that you are not too much strict as this may sometimes lead to difficult consequence. If it is only you who is against them and everyone of their friends accept to what they do then your sisters might turn towards their friends as they will be influenced by them. Hence, behave logically with them.