Is this how she is going to be?
By babykeka80
@babykeka80 (2084)
United States
October 6, 2009 1:47pm CST
My oldest daughter is 4 and in general a pretty good kid. One thing that drives me nuts about her is she wants things her way or no way. ( I think she gets that from me a little.) Is she always going to be like this or is there something I can do to change it now while she is still young? I dont want her to be a selfish little snot. Anyone dealt with this before?
2 people like this
4 responses
@stacysmomstl (397)
• United States
6 Oct 09
Yeah, it gets worse when they become teenagers. Somehow you just got to break through to her that nobody can ever have things their way all the time. You have to compromise. With my daughter, I pretty much talk to her contently until she found something else to to throw a tantrum about. She'd whine, kick scream, and I'd just sit calmly by until she got quiet so I could tell her that I wasn't really moved by her fits, but if she wanted to discuss things, then I would when she was finish having her fit. LOL
But you know each kid is different, and you just have to try different things until you find something that works. And then you can stick with that. Now my daughter gets all worked up still, she's 16 so it's really annoying. I still will do the same thing, I will just tell her, whenever she wants to talk I'll listen but she has to talk and not have a fit.
Now she'll tear into her room, throw stuff around. Then she'll say, "you're not helping me solve this problem. I say "oh you got a problem, I thought you just wanted to throw stuff around.." She say's I'm annoying, but like I told her, I might be annoying, but at least I don't have to pick up all of that crap. LOL Slowly she is learning that she can't have things her way only and then throw fits when she doesn't.
Good luck. I don't think she will out grow it. But she will deal better with it as she gets older.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
7 Oct 09
I also have a teenager ,dangerous territory .One minute they are helping you ,telling you about their day,really sweet.Thenext minute you are the worst person on earth.A few weeks ago he reckoned I was trying to ruin his life,for no reason I could see.I only said hello hows your day been ,he wanted to know why i was asking ,what had I heard ,stop being nosy and to keep out of his life.To which I replied " ruin your life,I have not even started yet,give me time son" You have to laugh at most of it,but sometimes you just flip.My son used to want his own way all the time and as he was the last one at home,I suppose he did get more attention than the others ,he definately got treated more.But he did not get everything he wanted as we are quite sensible parents.It has been a long road but at about 15 the penny dropped he was just wasting his time and gave up.The last year has been heaven compared to when he was 13 upwards ,he still gets upset but it is normally when I say have you got a coat? have you had a nice school dinner? I just sit and talk when he wants to and it works really well.my friend has given up trying to communicate with her 12 year old daughter completely.She says she is fed up with all the tantrums,she keeps her eye on her daughter but has learnt not to fall into the trap.
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@stacysmomstl (397)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Yeah teenagers is a whole other discussion aren't they. You just never know what will set them off and when they will be human. LOL
I stopped guessing too. That's all you can do. But as for your friend and her 12 year old tantrums, as long as the tantrums is directed toward you know her room, the dog, the cat the neighbor, it's all good. Whenever my daughter has a tantrum directed toward me I make her leave the house and sit outside until she can get it together. I don't care if she tears into her room, or yell at the dog. But I let her know, I didn't do anything we aren't having that. I work way to hard to provide for her to be mistreated. She can have her moods, but there is a limit.
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@elshaddai123 (3981)
• Kottayam, India
7 Oct 09
let her grow, but it is quiet natural she get your habit, but keep her in your prayer and discipline her the way you want her to be, all the best.
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
9 Oct 09
She may learn at some point that life does not run that way. You can do your best to try and teach her that by showing her though example that, as my husband says "some days you're the bread, and some days you're the butter." Bread is the foundation, butter goes on the bread, but both go well together. It's a lot nicer, than saying "some days you're the bird, and some days you're the statue." LOL A lot more diplomatic too, and a better illustration of what life should be.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Oct 09
Some kids are more stubborn than others. You will probably always run into this with her to some degree. The two things that I would advise are:
1. Be firm and consistent about the important things. Don't let her get away with this kind of behavior with things like homework, chores, personal hygiene, manners, etc.
2. Pick your battles. So don't get firm with her about every silly little thing. There are some things where it doesn't matter if you let her have her own way.
OK here's a third one - explain things to her. If there's a why to something, tell her why. She may not agree with you, she may even argue, but at least she'll understand why it's important to you.
And a fourth - give her a choice when possible. For example, it's cold so she can't dress in shorts and a tank top, but give her choices of warmer options.
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