Filipinos - Do you drink and play cards during VIGIL (funeral)
October 7, 2009 6:43am CST
I am not offending any filipino here but i need some answers. So hope to get some answer here. Early this morning i started a discussion about breaking up with my GF. Now when she woke up and gave a another reason that why she was out the whole night. Now her reason is that she had to do the VIGIL. Please explain what vigil is. And what you do on a vigil. I don't know about it. And when she was doing the vigil she was drinking & playing cards the whole night. And when she arrived home, that made her drunk that she does not remember anything of what happened. I don't know what to say since i am not aware of this vigil thing. Do people do drinking party when doing vigil? Thanks
5 people like this
8 Oct 09
hi again! sadly in some areas, family wont serve it but others who go to wake usually bring some drinks. but for heaven's sake, not to the point of getting drunk! ive seen that before but not to the extent of joining them. the thing is, ur girlfriend should know her limits. now, most wakes here are in the chapel to avoid such. i think the best way ur gf can do is to apologize instead of making an excuse. it may get worse for justifying a lot of things. ü
8 Oct 09
Its customary during wake to have drinking and playing cards. Theres always a place to do it during wake. A certain place to do that so to accommodate people coming in.But thats not the only thing being done during wake.Praying for the diseased is the primary task to do. Its up to the person to spend the whole night drinking and playing nothing to worry its for free.Your bet is just your concern. Booze all you can.
• United States
8 Oct 09
I hate to say it but have to be honest with you. For one thing a vigil is usually a grouping of people in memory of a family or a person who has suffered a loss or for a cause such as cancer etc. I have attended vigils. They are usually held during times when most people could easily attend such as early evenings during the week or daytimes on the weekends. I have never in my life been to a vigil where cardplaying and drinking is involved. I think your girlfriends story is very sketchy but maybe there are circumstances that I don't know about. Now you said that you were broken up with her so my next question would be...why do you care?
7 Oct 09
It's a Filipino custom. I'm not sure if it has a religious origin, but as far as I know, most Filipinos, no matter the religion, observe this. The drinking and gambling part really depends on the family of the bereaved. When my grandparents passed away, we made it very clear that there wouldn't be any gambling or drinking (since people knew us to be born again Christians, they expected this). Both wakes were held at my grandparents' house and the house was literally open to mourners 24 hours. I'm not sure why Filipinos feel compelled to stay the night drinking coffee and chatting. There's probably some superstition involved. I personally don't see the point and do not observe this (we actually call it "lamay").
8 Oct 09
I think doing such thing such as playing cards during vigil is fine. The reason of it is for you not to get sleepy at all and you need to have fun a bit for you to still awake during late night but you should put limits of having fun because it's a grieve not a party.
7 Oct 09
I don't think your GF was in a vigil... she just called it a vigil because it is an overnight thing... but the truth it is... it was an overnight gimik with her friends... I used to attend vigils in school when i was in college... but it was more of overnight praying and singing praises... but sad to say i always cheated... since i always go home when i feel too sleepy to continue...