How to spot an abusive partner?

Years ago I was involved with a man who was not abusive in the physical sense but emotionally he was very cruel. He reduced my self esteem down to zero with his put downs which a lot of the time were in public and his manipulations. Of course he was on his best behaviour when we first began dating but after we moved in together and travelled overseas he showed his true colours; he waited until I was out of my home country to turn nasty. The signs had been there all along but I didn’t see them; he was always very critical of people and often commented on my appearance and asked me to change my clothing to something he liked, he had to always be in charge of all the money too including mine, in other words he was controlling and that is when the first warning bells tolled and silly me was so much ‘in love’ that I ignored them until it was too late. Needless to say I flew home alone and we went our separate ways after he finished stalking me for months in the attempt to have me back!

Some men/women are particularly good with hiding the abuse they give, and generally the partner will not say anything because they are in love with them. The only true signs are when the person constantly has bruises, etc, and uses excuses like, "Fell down the stairs," - "Walked into the door," It is then worth questioning them, because although it may be true, its possible they're being abused. But other then that i cannot think of much else that would show that he/she is being abused unless you actually witness it.