What Do You Do When You Feel Like Someone is Abusing Your Hospitality?

Philippines
October 14, 2009 7:04pm CST
September 26 is a date few of us here in the Philippines will forget. It's the day that Onday came for one long visit that flooded the Philippines such as was never seen in the past 40 years. It's been almost 20 days since it happened, which is about the same number of days my aunt and her children knocked on our doors to stay over. Their place was flooded so much that their second floor was also underwater. They're family, so of course, we took them in. That was my aunt, my uncle, and their SIX kids: a toddler, an annoying 6 year old boy who calls me "Hoy", a 7 year old girl who keeps watching what I do and copying it - she says I'm her idol or something but I hardly find it flattering, a 13 year old who acts just like the little ones, a 17 year old who smokes in the toilet, and their eldest who is 21 who is the least annoying. During their first days with us I was actually grateful to have them at home because it felt less empty. Days go by however and they use up all my cooking gas, our house smells for I don't know what reason, condiments and other dry goods are slowly vanishing, and I find myself spending more and more time holed up in my room to get away. I know they lost quite a lot during the flood and maybe I'm just being insensitive (tell me I am, oh God... grrr...) but I just don't see signs of them leaving anytime soon... It's like they are already comfortable at home using up our resources and not sharing with expenses. How do I, in the least offending way, tell them I wish they'd get going? Or am I really overreacting? They're victims of the flood after all (though my uncle and the eldest are working). Tell me, tell me... I'm just feeling so out of place in my own home now.
3 responses
@jugsjugs (12967)
16 Oct 09
If i was you i would drop them a hint and take one of them shopping to get some food and then drop it into the conversation about how much the bill is for the shopping for a start and then on the way home,just say in conversation that you bet they will be pleased when they get to go and get away from you,not away from them.Other than that just keep dropping hints.I know it can not be easie but you have to do something for your own sake.
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
Hey, that's a great idea. I will most certainly try this. Maybe with my older cuz..
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
Its not offending to tell someone what you fell, especially if its your house. You supposedly in-charge here and that hospitality thing will gone if someone is abusing it. Just tell them who's who in the house directly on their face. But thats me. My real advice, better to talk to your aunt or uncle first, explain to them that the situation. Let them think that you're the owner of the house they are living today. And let them talk and discipline their children first. If nothings happen, go to my first advice.
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
I know... I'm really just torn. I pity them yet I'm annoyed at the same time. I always thought myself to be fond of children but for some reason... Wonder where I can pick up the "I'm the Boss" attitude...
@galileo2008 (1141)
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
I understand how you feel. I know it's kind of hard to juggle between being generous or hospitable, and thinking of your expenses at the same time. I think they may really feel like it's okay for them to use your hard-earned things and yet they never had that guilt-feeling because maybe you treat them well too. You need to talk to them and tell them how you feel. Ask them what their plans are because you cannot keep them forever. You have your own private life too.. Best of luck!
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
Thanks for the advice, I guess its a flaw in my character really... I don't like being confrontational about things especially when I feel like it may result in conflict of some kind. But I will try... and I do need lots of luck. Whoooo...