Does your mom have a best friend?

@ElicBxn (63252)
United States
October 15, 2009 7:07am CST
Honestly, I can't say that I ever remember my mom having what I would call, a best friend - well, besides dad. Oh, I know she was part of a very tight knit group of girls in college, still sends around a "round robin" letter with them - only now my sister writes it for her. Still, did she have a best friend? Well, if she did have a best friend, it would have been "B". And "B" died last Wednesday. Very sad. "B" had been on hospice, since summer, her family was basically told that she was on borrowed time. I know mom had a few issues with her, "B" seemed to have a dislike for food, mom went on a few trips with her and said that she seemed to disapprove of her eating - and mom isn't/wasn't fat! "B"'s husband was in the hospital dying when my dad died. In fact, he had been in the hospital dying for about 6 months at that point and continued to linger for another 4 or so months. So, do you know if your mom has a best friend? Is it your dad or her husband (if she's remarried?) or who?
5 people like this
17 responses
15 Oct 09
That's sad. I'm sorry for your mom's loss. My mother doesn't really have friends. She and my dad have always been really anti-social and quite content to stay at home, just the two of them. There's a BBQ they go to once a year and the Christmas contacts e-mail family newsletter, but that's about it. I'm probably quite anti-social because of the way I was raised like that, but I still meet up with people and chat a lot more than either of my parents!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I'd guess that your folks are probably my age, and I guess they are each other's best friend. I hate to say this, but if one of them loses their partner, they are really going to be sad - I hope you are able to be there for them. My parents stayed home a lot - but they did have weekly bridge games and mom went to church. Alone time is good, but friends are also needed - take the word of an old fart who didn't have many friends as a child...
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
my folks were really close, but they both had interests outside the house, I hope your parents find them too
15 Oct 09
They have no real incentive to change things I suppose. They're both giving up work at Christmas though and I think they'll have to explore other avenues or risk driving each other crazy!
1 person likes this
• India
20 Oct 09
Yes,even my mother has her college friend uptil know,she is married but is in touch with mom.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
16 Oct 09
I never lived with my mother but I do remember her having a bestfriend. It was my father's cousin. I had to call her Aunt Linda..lol. They were very close and if I wanted to know anything about my mother..it would be my aunt Linda I would call. I haven't heard from my mother in several years but I'm sure she is still very close to Linda.
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@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
16 Oct 09
I'm sorry to hear that you didn't have the kind of close, loving relationship I enjoyed with my mom, but that is what makes the world go round - I'm glad you have someone that you can talk to who knows her
@maysya (84)
• Indonesia
16 Oct 09
hmm... my mom? she have her bestfriend, my dad as known as her husband.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
16 Oct 09
I was kind of wanting to know if your mom had a best girl friend - you know, one of those "BFF" type friends - I would hope she is also best friends with her husband - I'd guess the marriage wouldn't last long other wise
• United States
16 Oct 09
My Mom has been friends with her best friend since they were at school together - she was my Moms bridesmaid at here wedding, and they are still in touch now, both over 70 years old. Recently my mother celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary and her friend came down for it (she had recently lost her husband just before their 50th, sadly) which was really nice for my Mom as they live quite far apart now. I have a best friend who is like a sister to me, so I hope we are the same when we reach their age.
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
16 Oct 09
my mom and the friend who was her maid of honor are part of the round robin letter that she gets every year its cool they still talk, even if they don't live near each other any more
@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
I know that my mother has a group of friends but she has not seen them after she got married because she and my father lived faraway after the wedding. When we went back to her old place, tat was the only time she and her friends got to see each other. She does not even have any of them as constant textmate, phonepal or penpal. But she does have a lot of close friends..
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
16 Oct 09
well, as I've gotten older I understand that people even older than we are don't feel the need to be in constant communication with their pals, they expected to leave friends behind and just have less of that kind of relationship they previously had with friends as they become a new family with their husbands...
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Oct 09
Hi Elic, yes my Mum has and they are still Friends today they have now been Friends for 42 years this is what I call a Friendship for Life
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
my mom has lived in Texas since I was a small child, and she knows a few people from that far back, but they are only friends, not "best" friends
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I know that when I was a kid growing up, my mom had a best friend now and again. I only remember one of them though and that was Jan. I only remember her because I was old enough to remember her and we hung out with her family a lot. My mom doesn't keep friendships though, something always comes between her and the friend. At first I believed it was the other person, i.e. Jan, but now I think it may have been my mother who can't keep a long term relationship going (other than her 50 year marriage to dad and the relationship with me and my brother). My Mom has no friends at all now and hasn't for many years. She says that having friends is too much work and trouble and you have to deal with "their" problems and she isn't interested. She wouldn't go back to group counseling for the same reason, she wasn't interested in the other people's problems at all. My mother is extremely selfish. So nowadays, the only, "friend" I guess you could say she has is my dad and those two, whew, sometimes they are very mean together and they certainly compliment each other's not so nice qualities. Fortunately my parents have some good qualities too or we wouldn't have anything to do with them. It's hard to be around them sometimes anyway.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
my former roommate's mother said that friends weren't worth the bother because they always die - well, she needed to find friends that weren't older than she was
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Oct 09
My mom had a good friend, Jeannine. She is a real sweetie. But I wouldn't say my mom had any really close friends that she could tell anything to. She never let anybody get quite that close.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I think that may be the way with my mom, except that maybe she'd tell me more than she'd tell most people, well, all of us kids, but I think she redirected that from dad.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
15 Oct 09
my mom had three best friends, my aunt, and two ladies that lived near us. but my step mom i think she does
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Living near family and long time friends does let you keep friends from your youth - my mom moved to Texas as a young woman so all those friends from her childhood got left behind in New Jersey
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
16 Oct 09
Well my mother has always had a best friend and from time to time these changes but while she has one she continues to talk a lot with them and about them sometimes to my annoyance.She also likes to go out with person and spend a lot of time with them
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
16 Oct 09
aww, don't begrudge your mom's having friends - she needs more that just family - I'm sure she's say that the friend doesn't take the place of family, she's an additional member of the family
• India
15 Oct 09
No she is not having any best friends so she always treats me and my brother as her best friends
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I guess, as I told someone else, I guess its great that your mom feels that your and your brother are friends, I always felt that my relationship with my parents was more of a parent/child relationship than a friendship - tho I do love my mom very much.
@joygracia (1325)
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
My is a really friendly type. She sometimes tells me about all she had gone with together with her best friends during her younger years. She also does have some what so cold best friends at the present. She does shares with me all her laughters with her best friends and its really funny hearing those because she does find a jolly way to say it. My mom`s kinda a bit like a joker so she`S really fun to be with.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
how cool, my mom could barely recognize a joke, so all our joking around was done with dad
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
My mom still has the same group of best friends ever since she was in high school. They grew up together, and we still live in the same province. It's really fun to see them talk as they often reminisce their beloved memories together. On the other hand, my dad is also my mom's best friend, having spent their lives together for 30+ years already. Their kind of friendship is on a higher level as they share everything. :)
• Boston, Massachusetts
15 Oct 09
That's sad! Yes. I know who's my mom's bestfriend. Since childhood they were playmates and schoolmates. It was very hard for mom when one day her bestfriend bid goodbye for good to migrate in the United States. Distance was never a problem with them because kept in touch through letters, cards and even long distance and overseas calls. I met her when she and family spent their vacation in our country. My mom was so happy and they had great time together. Mom received gifts from her bestfriend and as a sign of appreciation my mom made her a crochet bedspread and crochet blouse. Her bestfriend was so happy then. When she retunr to the US she made order... crochet blouses that she made as a gift fr her foreigner friends and co-workers. It was an honor for my mom to do it for her bestfriend. Hehehe she earned dollars from there.
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
That's nice that you know your mom's best friend - of course, she's likely to be my age (50's) rather than my mom's age (80's) and I KNOW I have friends/best friends - of course, I never had a husband either...
• United States
15 Oct 09
I believe my mom has four best friends. -my dad -her bird -childhood friend -me She knew Kem really good while she was growing up and thats how I met my best friend, Eric. Her and Kem still spend lots of time together and only live 5 minutes away from each other. My dad, of course, is another best friend. She claims I am to young to be fighting like I am already married, but her fights with dad ends like mine and Shauns, in a kiss and make up. There is nothing stronger than love. Her freaking bird. GRRRRR. ITs annoying. ITS A BIRD lol. And then theres me. I believe most moms want to be thier kids friends. I am happy to say me and my mom are so close and we both cried when i moved out 5 months ago. WE talk everyday and night on the phone and I always manage to go back home for a few days, like every week lol.
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@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I guess I've never thought of being best friends with a pet - but then again, some of those birds are more than just pets - after all, some of them out live "owners." I also wonder about being a best friend with a parent, I love my mom and was over there all the time, but I wouldn't call myself her friend... That must be nice to be her friend...
@SallyAnna (142)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Hi Elicbxn, Sorry to hear about your father and mothers friend "B". My mother has several best friends My father passed away years ago but I can say he was her all time best friend.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
15 Oct 09
well, my dad passed nearly 25 yrs ago, so the pain isn't as fresh as the loss of "B"... I don't know if mom knows it, or if she did know it, she might've forgotten it - until you mention it again anyway, her memory sure isn't what it was ...