Have you been asked to leave with your autistic child?
By mommaj
@mommaj (23112)
United States
October 18, 2009 6:28am CST
This past month we have hit an all time high of being asked to leave different places. I could understand. If I wasn't the mother I would have wanted the child gone too. LOL
We were in the hospital, Emergency Room section, when my son decided to lay down. That was okay for a while, but he didn't stay quiet very long. After about five minutes of fighting with him, they asked me to leave. That isn't the first time we were asked to leave a public building.
I have been asked to leave libraries that have CHILDREN'S sections. That, I must admit I do get a little peeved at. They allow handicap people in the library as long as they don't have a handicap that will cause them to be loud. I can see that to a point, but honestly if he is in the child section, they should cut him a little slack.
I want to climb underground sometimes. I know I am doing a good job keeping him quiet because he stays quiet for a little before going into a display. As a parent of an autistic child, it is hard to conform to the "norm". LOL
We have been asked to leave Social Security offices too. Have you been asked to leave anywhere?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Oct 09
I have the same experience with you and it happened inside the church. My eldest son who is also autistic was quiet uncomfortable being with so many people. He moaning and flapping. One of the Parish Pastoral Council members rudely approached us and asked us to leave because she said we are disturbing church goers. Inasmuch as we want to understand her we felt bad about what happened. She might not be aware about autism but there is a nice way to approach family with special kids. From then on we look for another church that is "special kids" friendly.
I am just happy to share with you that in our country one of the advocacy of the autism society is to conduct trainings on autism in department stores. We experienced how sensitive the staff and crew in dealing with my son. They are so friendly and provided the necessary assistance as needed.
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
18 Oct 09
That's nice to know. I wish they had training in the public places. LOL The workers say they need to have it quiet. Guess what, wouldn't we all like to have peace and quiet sometimes. LOL I haven't checked into the autism society yet, but I really want to.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Oct 09
As loyal and loving providers for our kids we really need a BREAK...A PEACEFUL/QUIET RETREAT to recharge and regain our strength and sanity hehehehe!
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
22 Oct 09
OMG! I can not believe you were asked to leave the hospital ER! Ok, to an extent I kind of understand the library since it is supposed to be quiet and I know plenty of adults who have been shushed in libraries. (Don't get me started on my experience in Baton Rouge after Katrina...)
You know hon, there's a book in here. Everyone is busy thinking about the ruckus he creates but no one is thinking about the affect on his sister or you or your husband or the stress and strain that is sometimes a part of caring for an autistic child. I hope you are keeping a journal each day of the highs and lows.
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
22 Oct 09
I really should start a book. I don't think anyone can imagine the effects this has on my daughter. She wants to go to a birthday party at a bowling alley. Only being six, I of course would want to accompany her. I don't know if it is expected or not, but I wouldn't be comfortable just leaving her. Of course, that means taking her brother. We can't go because I don't know how he will act. It is so horrible, especially for her! She doesn't get to be a kid and it isn't fair to her. Luckily, this time the birthday party is the same weekend as hers will be. So she can't really go anyway. What about next time though?
It's really stressful for me because sometimes I feel like I am raising the kids by myself. I don't know how single parents do it!
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
16 Nov 09
I really wish I could find something like that. I feel my daughter is missing out on so much and there is nothing I can do about it. She gets around other people and she is totally obnoxious and not the sweet little girl I know. She talks about anything and everything and sometimes just inappropriately. UGH.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
26 Oct 09
It really is tough on her, especially at that age and it will make it difficult for her not to resent him at times. You need a support group for autistic parents. Maybe you can help each other with stuff like this so one can babysit while the other takes the non-autistic kid(s) someplace.
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
5 Dec 09
Well, as a parent of an Autistic child myself... I must say that I have learned over the years what places work & don't work for my son.
I will not take him to the places that he might have a melt down & I do this out of respect for others.
We really can't blame the people for asking us to please leave when our child is screaming & wont stop.... I feel yes they should understand our situation, but lets face it, a lot of people just don't understand & may never understand.
A place like the hospital, well, I would think they would know better, but I guess not...
As for the library, I can't blame them... that is a place for silence, not for a child that is screaming & so on... I must say, if I was in that situation, I would leave on my own.
It's our job as parents to make these choices, we know whats best....
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
5 Dec 09
Actually, I was trying to leave in both instances. The hospital I was trying to leave because obviously there are sick people there and they need their rest. A screaming child will not give anyone that. LOL As for the library I was on the way to the checkout desk. I didn't feel that he was so bad that they couldn't give me a couple minutes to check out. He was whinging in the library. Not really crying just fussy. If it's a place for a child than I think they should make certain concessions for a child being a child. I agree that their are people at the library trying to read or study. At the library I go to they actually have a separate place for the children. I have learned with any child, autistic or not, it is good to take them in public or they won't know what to do when they are in public. My son is actually very good about going out unless he is just tired.
@suzzy3 (8342)
•
19 Oct 09
My good friend has an autistic son and she suffers the same discrimination,she gets people move away from him,stare at him.She has a disabled badge for the car and quite often someone will say "What's up with him then " he is also epilectic. I feel that the hospital asking him to leave is disgusting you complain about that and as for the social security asking you to leave and the library.Write a letter to all of these places,try to find a local paper that will write your story up,find others with autistic children and start something to show people how difficult things are for you anyway,I always say spend a day in my friends shoes and see how you feel.My friends son is not silly he understands what these ignorant people are saying and it really hurts his confidence.Which is already battered,most of these fits are brought on by nerves and ansxiety.Take care.
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
19 Oct 09
I cried reading your response because the ones that are getting hurt from the stares and comments are the children. I hope my son never understands if he is going to be able to control himself. I don't want him to have to deal with that. I think there is a point when all children realize they are different and that effects them. Hopefully, it makes all the children a little stronger, but it sure does break a mother's heart.
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
18 Oct 09
haha, I have been asked to leave the hospital too.
Once we managed to sneak into the Intensive Care Unit, and the nurses wanted to kick us out oh.
Another time the visiting hour about to end, and the nurses also wanted to kick us out oh. We were making a lot of noises.
Once in the national library, my stupid handphone started to ring oh, the librarian looked very fierce and wanted to kick me out too.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
21 Oct 09
haha, as long as nobody asks you to leave the toilet, you can survive anywhere!
So far that hasn't happened to me! I think toilet is more important than library or whatever office, after all, that is such an urgent matter you have to do in the toilet!
I think you should write more about autistic children, or start a blog to provide support for parents with autistic child.
@beckysue12121 (37)
• United States
16 Nov 09
We have never been asked to leave anywhere, but we do get dirty and odd looks. My son likes to copy obnoxious noises.....loudly. He also copies the other disabled kids he goes to school with. After a while you tend to ignore the weird looks, I think that aspect of things gets easier with time. And ain't it fun to stroll down the aisles of Walmart to the tune of the loudest (very accurate) weed wacker anybody has ever heard? You just gotta have a sense of humour about it, I guess. :P
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
16 Nov 09
Oh, that is so funny and cute! Yes you have to have a sense of humor or you will go crazy. I've always had a decent sense of humor, now everything is funny or I would just sit in a corner and cry. Somehow, you just learn to cope. I take my kids to the library often so I asked one of the librarians about it. We got off topic and she was saying a parent actually got a shirt made up that says, I am autistic. I told her I thought that was a wonderful idea. Sometimes people need a warning of what your child might do. Besides, once they see the shirt I figure they will be too embarrassed or whatever to continue looking at your child. I told her I might make one up for me. LOL
