guy won't talk

@snowy22315 (100153)
United States
October 18, 2009 1:14pm CST
What do you do with a guy who half the time doesn't want to talk to you? I'm afairly chatty person, and my bf is really withdrawn and quiet half the time. It does bother me when he doesn't talk, but his personality is what it is so I don;t think it can be changed much. I try to find other people to talk to, but it is weird when he is here, but not here if you know what I mean.
2 people like this
10 responses
@Nicapol (67)
• United States
18 Oct 09
Tell him straight up that it bothers you when he doesnt talk. Tell him that you want him to be more open. Most likely the reason he doesnt talk is because he doesnt know what to say. He might be uncomfortable talking to you and if thats the case then he probably shouldnt be with you. Just try to slowly open him up. Heres an idea you might want to try. Tell him you want to play a game. Heres the rules: You tell him to ask a question and you have to answer honestly. Then when you answer you ask him a question. Go back and forth like that for a while and see if it opens anything up.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
I think he's just shy or playing safe when talking to you. Did you already saw your bf hanging with his friends? If he's also quiet in that manner, it just means it's his natural personality. Often times guys act like mature person, a gentlemen, and not that much chatty when they are with their girlfriend. I myself used few words because I don't want to disappoint my girlfriend but time passes and I'm being easily comforted to her and can talk things that we weren't discussing back then. Hope it helps
@snowy22315 (100153)
• United States
26 Oct 09
We went on a trip yesterday, he did a little bit of talking but not too much. I of course had to initiate the conversation. We talked a little bit more on the way back. I'm glad that you and your girlfriend are talking now charmz. Most women like to talk. They at tleast want to feel comfortable with their partner and say what is on their mind.
@ybong007 (6656)
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
A lot of people are like that. But I'm pretty sure you just failed to push the wrong buttons. I'm sure there are things that interests him and it's for you to find out. There also things that we'd rather keep to ourselves than share with others, even girlfriends so you have to respect that. Cheers!
@snowy22315 (100153)
• United States
19 Oct 09
asking open ended questions helps when he is in the mood to talk otherwise it is silent city. Quietness is OK, but excessive quietness really bugs me. It makes me wonder what he is hiding.
@ElicBxn (61143)
• United States
18 Oct 09
I sometimes feel that women like to talk just to make a breeze, but men only talk when they have something to say - or, if they are a certain type of man, to entertain There are things men don't want to talk about - feelings for one. Another thing most men don't want to do is get in the middle of some other person's argument, unless they think they can solve it. Even then they would rather solve it physically than verbally... so, don't expect your boyfriend to change, either accept him the way he is, or get another boyfriend.
@snowy22315 (100153)
• United States
18 Oct 09
yeah, that's what everyone says. easier said than done though. I try to let him start the conversations, because I know he wants to interact then, but mostly I just am quiet also, since that is what he seems to want.
1 person likes this
@amijor (234)
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
If that is what he is in front of you or anybody else in the world, then that is fine. He's just a taciturn. But if he's unusually quiet in front of you and chatty with his friend then he must have secrets that he doesn't want you to know. It does not necessarily mean that he is cheating on you. I also have this friend who is a silent guy but I let him be. Most of the time if I just let him be like that he grows tired of the silence and ends up beginning a conversation.
@irene3184 (900)
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
I think you have to respect they if he is not fond of talking. Maybe it is not his personality. If I am in that situation, I will talk to him for sometimes and try to understand.
@buping (954)
• China
19 Oct 09
hi snowy, i am not a charry person, but my bf is one. but he does not like to talk with me, he often comes out with his friends to a reunion. and he comes home very late, i am in my asleep at that time. in fact we do not have much communication to each other. and i think it is good, anyway, i do not like chatting too much.
@jugsjugs (13038)
18 Oct 09
If you are the one who is trying to make the effort in starting a conversation and he is not responding it do not look like a very good start to a relationship.I tend to talk to friends more than i do the husband to be honest with you as we do not have as many things of the same interest to talk about,but i have been married over 13 years.
@AmbiePam (56903)
• United States
18 Oct 09
Been there. Man, I don't know what to tell you. In my case the relationship I had with the guy didn't work out.
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
18 Oct 09
Hi I have a bf like yours if they ever met they would get along I'm sure. He's so shy and withdrawn it drives me crazy I know how you feel we've been together almost 3 years and I wish he would open up and he thinks things have been going well with him this way and being closed up. I don't think it does them any favors being so withdrawn when I'm like you I'm open yeah at times I feel alone 2. We don't talk about things much either. I think men that keeps things to them selves are afraid getting hurt. I've tried different things to get him to open up it was like pulling teeth.My man's a lot like your the shy quite type sometime I wonder how I met him? Oh right i know I picked him up at a job I was at there he was and and I flirted with him. That was almost 3 years ago we've been together you have to learn t accept that's the way your man is I realized this, I don't think it's makes any better ,but he will only tell you things when he's ready. I hope things work out