Inadvertent Rudeness
By Pigglies
@Pigglies (9329)
United States
October 20, 2009 10:16pm CST
Have you ever been rude when you really didn't mean to be?
Tonight the doorbell rang and it was the neighbor boy, in his boy scout uniform, with a clipboard. I don't know what he was selling, but I am sick, was wearing pajamas already, and was at the spot near the window where someone at the door cannot see you. Unfortunately, I didn't realize his father was down the street a bit since it is dark. Until a moment later when he runs up and waves and encourages the boy to ring the doorbell again. Of course I still don't answer because I am not in normal clothes, and now I am totally embarrassed. I thought about yelling through the door that I was sick and he should come back in a few days, but then I realized my voice is all messed up (as I've found out by calling people and having them wonder who the heck I am today). So now I'm sure the neighbors just think I am rude.
What do you do when you are inadvertently rude? The only good thing is, I can't feel too bad since the neighbors are normally the ones who don't answer the door. Once we got their mail by mistake and when we went to deliver it you could hear them all whispering and no one would come to the door until we shouted that we just had their mail and would they please open the door. So I can't feel too rude. But still, I know selling stuff door to door is hard and I feel bad for the poor kid! But I was not about to answer the door not being fully clothed.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
22 Oct 09
Hi solared: this usually happened to me when i was a teenager and someone tries to wake me up, i was really rude even if i knew i'll feel guilty five minutes after i wake up. In those cases you can't think to clear about what to do, you're more "animal"
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
21 Oct 09
Hi Pigglies, first of all I don't think you have been rude in the slightest by not answering your own door and think that people who knock on your door without telephoning first to see if it is convenient are the ones who are being rude. Also they are rude by presuming when you do not respond to the door that they feel it necessary to knock again and to actually have watched your moves enough to know that you are actually inside, when you have the perfect right in your own house to not only not answer the door but to be sleeping or in the shower or anything else at all. 
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
21 Oct 09
In all fairness to the neighbors, I don't think they have my telephone number so I'm sure that's why they didn't call first. But yes, I do hold my friends to that rule. If they come over unannounced I may not answer the door, not bothering to get up because I figure it is some religious nutcase at the door. One of my friends recently had to ring twice because the first time I knew I wasn't expecting anyone and didn't want to get up. But usually I will at least get up and look to see who it is just in case it is someone I know or something important.
Sometimes ringing twice can be smart if the person may have not heard the first time. More than twice is just kind of excessive.
I wouldn't feel too bad if the neighbors hadn't noticed me. Because then they could just assume that I had been in the shower like you said. But since they saw me and I still didn't answer the door that looks kind of rude.
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
21 Oct 09
Well I still don't think you were rude, we are not obliged to open our doors or answer our telephones to anyone when we are in our own homes. There are enough things we are expected to do without having to be expected to answer doors whether seen or not. That's suppposed to stop you feeling guilty by the way.
@amybrezik (2118)
• United States
21 Oct 09
I think it happens to the best of us. I can't think of a specific example, but I know I have been rude without meaning too. Usually it is pointed out to me and I apologize. I am sure if you just go explain to your neightbors later that you were sick they will completely understand that. Everyone has been in your position. Don't worry too much about it. If it's too late to order something from your neighbor's boy I am sure there will be another chance very soon.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
22 Oct 09
Hi pigglies: It just happends sometimes even if we want to be nice with everybody we are human and we commit mistakes when we communicate the ideas, period. I'd try to be nice with them the next day i see them and try to find the words to make them know that i didn't want to sound rude.
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
I believe it can happen to anyone when struck at the wrong place at the wrong time. But I dont remember myself being rude to anyone. As much as possible,I try to be calm. If Im mad, I silence myself up first and dont talk for like an hour and then I would talk to that someone I was mad to and clear things up.
Well, am I contradicting myself here? haha! Except probably for my boyfriend. =)
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
21 Oct 09
I like your rule. I should use that. I usually get angry and say something I don't mean. Or I'll say something that I do mean, but I really wish later that I didn't say. And then if I get forced to apologize too early that usually ends up bad too. If I would just be silent for one hour then I'd probably end up saying nothing.
Although in this case my rudeness wasn't even from being angry. But generally people are most rude when angry it seems.
@biman_s (1060)
• India
21 Oct 09
In general I am not a rude person but there are times when things get out of control, specially when I am very stressed out and someone comes to me to ask something. I try my best to control my emotions and be nice to others. But I have to say that sometimes I loose it completely.
I remember the day in my office, I was working and was very tensed due to an argument I had with my girlfriend, my junior came to me asking for a file and I acted really rude to him saying not to disturb me and I am busy. The good thing is that after I said that I quickly apologized to him and explained to him everything. He is a nice person and so he understood.
Things like this happen and we should take care of it before it runs out of our hands.
