How to sell myself in public?

China
October 24, 2009 5:41am CST
I am so inward that i seldom sell myself in public,i am afraid of talking in public ,i have tried many times and i faied many times ,i donot why ?meybe it is with my education.my teacher and parent often tell us the studying grade is most important for me ,and others is not important for me ,i donot know they say this to me ,now what they saied was totally wrong,i must change the situation,but i can do it ?I am so confused ,can you give me some advice?
3 people like this
19 responses
@jacksong (130)
24 Oct 09
Hi there, I noted so many friedns tell you try to chang youself, maybe that is right, maybe not. As my feeling and experience, changing the personality is a very difficult thing, it's born with us, it's given by the lord. : ) So, I doubt maybe keep you you is a better way, as you know, outgoing people are always popular in the community, inward people are popular too, just don't be too boring, make yourself kindly, keep smiling, that's will be very good. And as I know some celebrities are also shy, such as Michael Jackson, right? Hope my oppinion couled help you out of this, be yourself you will find the world more beautiful. Regards Jack
1 person likes this
• India
24 Oct 09
Hi, friend. Well, both study and exposure to world are important. Study and knowledge boosts up ur confidence in intellectual matters, while talking to others decreases ur general hesitation. So, u need to gather enough knowledge and insight on the matters u talk about so that u may feel confident on that. Secondly, even after this, if u feel shy, then it means u have become habitual to shyness. I mean that keep telling urself that u are not a shy person. Also, always keep in mind, asking even the stupidest question to somebody is not that bad, as it is when u can not answer it if u r asked to do. So, never hesitate about inquiring something. Also, always remember that u r not the worst personality in the world, people even worse than u exist. However, don`t forget that u r not the best either. Keep in mind, not all persons come with all the guts and qualities, but somebody who learns after failing repeatedly learns the best way. So, always keep trying. But, one thing u should keep in mind that u should not be too frank to sell urself in the public (i mean that u start talking unrefined way), that is sign of uncivilized personality. Happy Mylotting!!
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6293)
• United States
24 Oct 09
see i am different i dont do at studies. but i am great with people. i found if you just be yourself around others then you will do ok. you need to like yourself first before anyone else can. i do know some people who are educated often will correct others in what they say in a wrong way. first dont do this. just be you and you will be alright. but dont allow yourself to be too trusting to strangers for real
1 person likes this
@getbrowser (1715)
• China
24 Oct 09
In fact, there are many ways that allow you to sell yourself well in public. In my opinion, the reason that you failed many times is because you don't have many chances to communicate with other people. As you have said above, you have spent much time on studying and have no other time to sell myself in public. Education is an important part of our life, but learning to communicate with others is important too. Don't be confused any more. You can change such a situation easily when you have more chances to communicate with others.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6345)
• India
24 Oct 09
You are just young and this is almost a general problem to your age group.You can come out of this easily.Don't panic.Just make sure that you are not expecting anything from the people you are going to interact.That will remove half the burden.You can converse easily.if possible,join some social clubs where you can mingle with more people.By and by,you will gain experience.Cheers!
• Malaysia
24 Oct 09
Hi zhanmingyuan, You are still young. I very calm to see you face if i have that opportunity to do so. You are actually thanks to God what you had until now. I can predicts that you are the best student in your field of study. You are also good of talking in front of public. This is normally happen to student like you. Even to lecturer who can talk but do not know the skill to attract people who are talking to. You are not number one. There a thousand like you. But they change their life as possible as they desire. I advising you and myself not to be afraid to try even we got fail even for the same thing. Regards. C.M
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
Well, I am like that before I am so shy and always keep quiet, hide and never like to talk to strangers. Then, I study in schools and develop friendship with my classmates and teachers. Then, although at first hesitant to make friends I manage to keep few and remain active in class and befriend teacher. I must say that I do not need to look like an actress or like a model to sell myself. All you need to do is to start to be friendly and open up by learning to interact with those around you. You may feel afraid to make a conversation as you are shy but you never know other people are shy too like you. All you need is to smile and talk this is know as socializing. Your teacher and parents are right you need to study in schools so that you may become literate and have a good job after graduation and they are reminding you of this for your own future.
1 person likes this
@borhan (1345)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Everything is very important for life. Education and as well as the world, both you need to know. But,First priority should be given to study. If you feel shy to talk infront of people, just practice and practice. Just think yourself confident. You will find it is so easy to talk to people.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (6701)
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
First I would like to congratulate you in having the confidence to join mylot and post this discussion. This is a step in conquering your shyness. I'll give you a tip on how not to be shy when talking to someone. You must look at the person face and focus on the point between the eyes. Focusing eyes in there wont distract you and moreover it would give the impression your confident because they tend to see you looking at them in the eye. Keep this in mind, I usually say this to myself whenever i feel nervous and shy, "We are all human beings, basically the same in everything the only difference is fame and money"
@cbeee3 (2063)
• India
24 Oct 09
This is a really nice advice..but while looking at the point between the person's eyes, don't look cross-eyed. I'm sorry.. Im having one of my crazy moments and had to say that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
Haha I can imagine how you talk to people, the only time you get to be crossed eyed is when the person in front of you is so near that your noses would almost touch
@cbeee3 (2063)
• India
25 Oct 09
Are you talking out of experience.. Gosh, We could do this forever huh..lol
1 person likes this
@Ted_123 (151)
• China
25 Oct 09
Hello friend, I also accepted the same way of education during my school time, so i'm sort of introverted, especially in public i even dont know how to communicate with others. But since graduation from college and began to work, i changed a lot. Actually it depends on yourself, the way is to practice yoourself as possible in public occasion, dont be shy and just be confident, gradually you will found you've changed, hehe:) Ted
• India
25 Oct 09
really studies alone not life there are so many uneducated people who have great life so studies is not so important but its important ...i will say if u study u will not know anything more other than that ...but real life is totally practical ..plus u said u having problem in speaking in public the best way to overcome this problem u must do speaking practise infront mirror ..any topic for that matter ..plus when facing people think all have less capability than u ..u can confidently speak..all lies in ur confidence ...this confidence is not tough in book got from practise which uneducated have more ...when they dont have complex...complex is poison break it and out of ur shell ......hope to see u as public speaker
@mafi0831 (108)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
Education is really important but it will be useless if you will not express it in public. People will not be able to know you. If you will be shy, nothing will come to you. You should be confident to face them. At first, it is really hard because you will think that you cannot do it or you may fail. That's life, there is always error in the beginning but you should try and try until you get what you want. Try to mingle with other people by yourself. Come with them if they invite you to go out. that will wash away your shyness. Dont mind what other people will think of you. Just express yourself and at the end you will have the confidence to face all of them.
• China
25 Oct 09
i like you,i was within a shy person.i dou't like to express myself,so let us try toparticipate in more than one occasion,forcing us to communicate,so let's work together.
• China
25 Oct 09
For me,I have the same feeling,I remember the first time I make a speech in class,before I speak,I feel so nervous when I hear the teacher read my name,there is one thing I want to say,it's that you will find it make a difference,although how good you prepare before,when you speak on the platform,maybe you will feel too nervous to say something different,not according to the plan you made before,as we all know,practice makes perfect,if you practice more in public,I think you would feel better.
@shadow41 (2356)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
Just be confident. Believe in yourself. It's very important to believe in yourself. Say you can. :) Also try to practice talking with some friends or to your neighbors. It will help. Practice is the key to perfection. shadow41
@solared (1209)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Think of it like a game an you are not playing yourself, you are playing someone else. Most of the people you see in public you probably won't have much contact with later, so what's to worry about, being a public speaker is not baring your soul. I'am shy person too, but when I have to work or be around others I just treat it, like it's my job or it's a game, the only time I would be shy is meeting people I haven't seen in a while, family, friends, or meeting people to socialize or meeting girls. on the net I'm not shy at all.
@cbeee3 (2063)
• India
24 Oct 09
I am not sure if you are working now or still studying. If you are still studying, when you get a job things will change. I assure you, and you won't even have to try hard. With time you will learn to conquer this shyness, coz once you start working, you will have to interact with many people. But till then, keep trying to talk to people you don't know. May be when you travel or in your college canteen etc. It's a life lesson for you. You will start enjoying this in sometime. Remember that we are all humans, and all of us have fears. Don't feel shy.
@skysuccess (8880)
• Singapore
24 Oct 09
zhangmingyuan, Firstly, I think you need to realize this: "You are what you think you are" and one thing you have shown here is the lack of confidence in yourself. It is good to realize and know of your shortcomings like being an introvert and fear of talking in front of an audience but it should be motivating you to seek out solutions than to be put down by it. Please remember that no one is born to speak well even in front of a person face to face. We just need to constantly face this shortcoming and force ourselves to speak up and out. A lot of time, I feel that we are just being overly self conscious when we get tongue tied and when we pause to think....instead of thinking of topics to talk, we stray to think of the past failing experience and thus making us even more tongue tied and cower back into our shells. Education may be an issue with being knowledgeable but it is not going to make you a great conversationalist or public speaker. You need to have a knack for humor, up to date with current affairs, understand the other party whom you are going to talk to and prepare your speech. So, it is time to read more newspapers, celebrity magazines, health or technology. Work on your distractions. If you feel that your dress is not good enough, then get a nice, comfortable and new one. If you feel that you do not feel comfortable with your appearance, go for a facial and/or hairdo till your heart content. All of whatever to avoid you thinking about them during a speech or conversation. Work on your facial expression. Look at the mirror and practice your facial expression to look natural, beautiful, exciting and happy. No one likes the look of a dull and boring speaker or conversation partner. Be expressive positively, so that you will not have a negative partner or audience where it can get you down. So, sometimes it is not the speech but your expression that let you down. When you are talking, if you cannot bear to look at the other person in the eye then look at their nose. On one hand, the other party will not know that you are not having eye contact. And if you are talking to an audience pick out someone who catches your attention and just look at him/her throughout your speech. In conclusion, never be afraid to make mistakes or laughed at or be criticized as these are just what you need to learn and most of all improve yourself. I hope that these tips will be of help. Take care and have a nice weekend.
• United States
24 Oct 09
How about trying this - pick a subject that you like and know a lot about, preferably something you feel a passion for/about. Find a blog to start with and freely express yourself about the subject you chose. It is always easier to express yourself when you feel confident about your feelings on a certain subject. Instead of worrying about selling yourself, really listen to the topic and what people are saying. You will hear something that will spark the inner you to become an outer you. You may end up stating your opinion on something that just might make a difference! I've heard it said that shy people are selfish because they are not sharing themselves and their ideas with others. Don't be a selfish person. You may miss your chance in life to really make a difference.