My teen daughter is pregnant!!

United States
October 24, 2009 10:54pm CST
I have a 15 year old daughter. She is pregnant by a local boy, 16 who has a bad reputation. She is doing well in school,but i fear for her future! I need help please.
3 people like this
19 responses
• United States
25 Oct 09
I have 2 daughters 15 & 17. Neither of them is pregnant but I can certainly imagine what you are going through. Personally I feel like every child has a purpose in God's eyes. Everyone's life is going to change, not just your daughters. I'm assuming she is going to remain in the household w/ you? Therefore, affecting your life and anyone else who lives there. However, you CAN get through this, and mom she needs you now. We all make mistakes and need someone to help us when we do. I'm sure the baby daddy won't stick around so plan on her being a single mom at least for a while. What grade is she in? Sphomore? It's so important she continue. Maybe online home school would be an option. She MUST get her diploma, no matter what. I'm sure there are many resources available in your local area to help. But the most important thing is to support her emotionally, but at the same time she is about to be a mommy w/ adult responsibilites. Allow her to have her own experiences. Don't bail her out. Don't be the babies momma. Make her accept the consequences for her choices. Blessings to your family.
• United States
25 Oct 09
You are very welcome. This subject hits home w/ me. Simply because though my family is not in this situation that doesn't mean we couldn't be at any given time. god Bless you!!
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
18 Mar 11
Hi. dwight73. Welcome to myLot! Many people that I have went to school with have children now that are almost 18 years old. I am just 32 years old. I was in school when girls were pregnant. All that you can do is just pray that your daughter continues to do well in school and that she will be able to take care of her baby. As her mother, show her love and support. I hope that everything is okay now for you, and your daughter, plus her baby too. As far as the local boy is concerned, I hope that he is taking great care of his child, if not then he will be the next young man that will be on Child Support.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Dec 09
My daughter is 16 so I can relate somewhat to your daughters situation. What does your daughter think of this boy? Is she in love with him? Are the feelings mutual? The boyfriend doesnt sound too promising. In any case, you will need to offer all the support you can to your daughter. It is her choice what she does about her pregnancy. What you need to do is find out all the options available to her. Get the information and present it to her. Give her the choice. Support her decision. Good Luck.
• United States
4 Dec 09
I would start home schooling. Is there a way she can test out of high school classes early? I would then enroll in community college and start clepping (CLEP) courses to finish earlier and taking online and classes. Let her get her bachelors degree and start working. I would Do all I could to ensure she can earn a good working wage by the time she is 19. i would encourage her to work and finish school. Make her create an emergency fund/real world account. Imagine if she worked some where for three years and saved a large chunk of money. Introduce her to working online. Do all you can to help her become stable without a man, get an education, and not be afraid to face the world as a single mom.
@fl0rencia (414)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
I know a lot of girls who had been like that in my place. My advice to you is not to let that guy marry your kid. They won't have any good future especially that you mention that the boy has a bad reputation. Let your kid raise the baby by herself with the help of you and the family. If you let her marry the boy, she might just end up having multiple kids making her helpless. :) But if the boy wants your daughter, make sure the boy have a job first and be responsible.
• India
5 Mar 11
You have to get local support. You must give mental support to her as brook said.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
27 Oct 09
oh my! that is a real dilemma... I can only imagine how you feel... She is so young, she should be enjoying life like other kids. But then, I still believe that every baby is a gift from God, whether intentional or not, out of wedlock or within marriage. I definitely do not agree with abortion. I don't think that the baby should die because of the mistakes of the parents. Were you able to talk to the boy? is there any chance that he is serious about his relationship with your daughter? I think that most important thing is for your daughter to see your unconditional love as a mother. Yes, what she did was very very wrong but you should still show her that you love her despite her mistakes. She will be able to face everyone else knowing that you have forgiven her and is giving the chance to make things better. She can always go back to school after giving birth to her baby. She will be forced to mature ahead of her age but maybe it will also give her more determination to do well in school.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
30 Oct 09
I'm sorry for you that this has happened. There is an answer to everything that happens to us. If you can afford to keep the baby I would keep it. If you know there will be know way to make a good life for the baby then give it up for adoption. There are so many people out there looking for a baby because they can't conceive. I think if you want your daughter to make a good life for herself then give the baby up. If you both can find a way of dealing with the changes then have the baby. Whatever you decide good luck to all of you.
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
It happened already, just help your daughter raise her child and you must always be there in her pregnancy months because she still don't know what to do, her baby would be a blessing to your family, after giving birth let her continue her studies and don't let her have contact with the boy first because he can't help her in that situation, only you and your husband could help your daughter. don't let her stop her studies , it's very important so that she could raise her baby when she could graduate college.
@malamar (779)
• Canada
27 Oct 09
At age 15, the brain hasn't even come close to being fully developed yet. Your daughter will need help in dealing with impending motherhood. Perhaps you could look into getting her some professional counselling to discuss the options available to her. Local clinics often provide free resources - not to make any decisions for you, but to outline possible solutions and options. You need to discuss as a family the consequences of keeping the baby or placing it up for adoption. This, of course, is subject to your families values and beliefs. This change in circumstances is certainly not the end of the world, but it will affect major changes within the dynamics of the family. Take care of your own emotional health in order to be able to help your daughter get through this. I wish you and your girl all the very best of luck.
@jndlponti (2402)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
I am sorry to hear that. She is still too young to b a mom. I guess you just have to support her all the way. You cannot do anything with it anymore, just help her during the period of pregnancy so she won't get much depress and the baby will be healthy. If possible advice her to stop seeing the guy if the guy won't be mature and responsible for her and for their baby. After she give birth if she is still interested to go to school just let her be, help her think mature since she already have a baby to raise. She should act like any other responsible mom's do.
@mielshare (265)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
Hi there dwright! I'm 20years old but still teen at heart..I would like to share my thought in behalf of your daughter but I haven't been pregnant yet. Maybe your daughter has a great reason for doing such, maybe she has a problem with your family that she hasn't told you or maybe she is facing a situation that you don't know..I think the only way that you can help your daughter is to be there because I hbelieve that she needs you at this moment than any other moment in her life. I know it hurts on your part be we can't do anything about the situation so I guess the only way to make this situation not as complicated as it is is to be there for you daughter no matter how much you are hurt.. Goodluck and just on God he has a purpose for this..
@aaguelo (69)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
It's sad to hear that. I hope that you still have the love for your daughter. You are the key person that can help her in her most difficult time. Pray also for what God really plans for her. There is nothing more practical thing to do than asking the Lord for wisdom, strength and guidance.
@kjess77 (40)
• United States
19 Nov 09
Unfortunately this situation is becoming more and more prominent in our society! The best thing you can do now... is come up with a plan for success. It is important that you let your daughter know you still love her and support her, even though she made a bad decision. Tell her that she is going to have to grow up and take care of her baby because of the decisions she has made, but that a baby is both a responsibility and something to love and cherish. Find local resources online, or through planned parenthood, obgyn doctor offices, and government sites that will lead you to many many resources for pregnant teenagers. Use your local resources like food banks to help pay for food, and many food banks will also provide diapers and other toiletries. She may also be able to get welfare to help pay for bills. If she is able to find a program that will help her while she is attending school, then she will be able to finish high school. If that doesn't work out, she can also get her GED online at home while taking care of her baby. Also, do not rule out charities and churches that may be willing to donate time, money, prayers, counseling, and faith to help get you through it!
@jeanena (2198)
• Bucklin, Kansas
25 Oct 09
I have to say having gone through this myself That it isnt the end of the world . Life goes on m'dear . My daughter was 17 when she got pregnant with my grandson. I know it is hard and scary because your not only worrying about her future , but a babys as well. I wouldn't trade my Cooper for any thing in this world that you could offer me. One thing is you probley wont be able to count on anything from this boy (I hope it is different for you guys) Aarika hasn't ever received any support so far for him. Money or emotional other than her family . And we are behind her all the way. Is she planning to keep the baby? If so ride her butt about finishing school don't let her quit . I am wishing you all the best in this tough time One grandparent to another, Just remember Grand Babies are our reward for not killing our kids!
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
25 Oct 09
Your daughter is young and probably was many worries about her pregnancy and the fact that she will be a parent very soon. She needs support and understanding from you. You could try to let your daughter continue her schooling. However some of her friends might tease her or lose interest in being her friend. When your grandchild is born you could offer her support. One mother did the night feeds so her teen daughter could be able to care for her baby girl in the day time.
@Zhizho (1350)
• Indonesia
25 Oct 09
Hi..Sad to know it but I think,the better thing now is just support her because maybe it hard to trough this problem.But important to make her feel regretted for her mistake.Than,take care for her pregnant until the baby born.And I agree with the opinion that send her to school again.
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
Oh my God, she is still a baby. I was shocked that I can't even think of what to say. You can't let her go with the boy. He is a kid and for sure, your daughter's life will be miserable. Let her keep the baby and then, send her to school again after giving birth. That is just my opinion. The decision is still yours and your daughter's.
• United States
25 Oct 09
First i would like to welcome you to mylots i see your new like i was couple weeks ago. I know you will find great advice here so many different topics. Your discussion really hit home for me. I just became a grandma for first time couple months ago. It was a huge shock for our family my son is the babys dad and he is 15. Mistakes do happen and we all live with them and we make the best of it. A mistake is only bad if you let it negatively effect your life. Your daughter is going to need so much emotional support from you. I know how it feels when you get the news...do you cry....do you scream....do you flip out....nothing helps you have to take time to let it sink in and just deal with one day at a time. I will be the first one to tell you I dont baby my son ........he takes care of his baby...he changes him, he baths him, he gets up in the middle of the night with him, he works odd jobs for friends and people on our block to help with expenses of baby, he goes to school and let me tell you i just got his grades and they are all A's and B's! ........ i am this babys grandma and will never be this babys mom my son takes full responsibilty for his child. Im very proud of him for being there for his son and being the best dad he can. It would be better if he was older and out of high school but thats neither here nor there it is what it is and he has a heathly beautiful baby. I sent you a friend request incase ya ever just need to talk in private, it helps to have other people to talk to during this whole thing. Hang in there :)