What would you do?
By ilyzium
@ilyzium (1197)
Canada
October 25, 2009 2:34pm CST
My husband and I were arguing the other night about one of his friends. Ok well his married friend with kids has been separated from his family for 2 years. Why? Because he took a very well paying job in England. Anyway they didn't want to uproot the wife and kids, so they stayed behind. I told my husband that it may have worked for them but it wouldn't work for most people, because 2 yrs is a long time and ANYTHING can happen during that time. I told him if it were me with kids, I would have insisting on going with the kids to be with the husband, even if it meant uprooting the kids. Hey, what good is having your family stay in one spot, if it means the crumbling of a marriage? Thoughts?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
28 Oct 09
I agree with you. I would have gone also. Would rather uproot our kids than to have the kids without their father for 2 years. That's two years lost that can't be replaced. Thank goodness I've never been in this kind of situation since my husband owns a business about 3 miles from our house.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
28 Oct 09
Hi carolbee,
Yes thank goodness you've never been in that situation, true. I just couldn't imagine being separated from your husband for 2 yrs!! Well, my husband argued about it saying that people in the military do that all the time. I told him that's like comparing apples to oranges, because when people get involved with someone in the military, they're aware that there will be long separations so can't compare the two.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Oct 09
hi ilyzium I am like you, I would want to be with my husband an d of course our children would be with us too. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it makes it grow lonely and bitter'
and often one or the other starts to cheat a bit a nd finally has an affair. marriage should not be a long distance relationship
but a close knit one specially if you have kids.
@Brad2289 (184)
• United States
25 Oct 09
I thnik that 2 years is too long to be away from a family, as you miss importnant milestones in your childs life and miss quality time with the people you love. I would think that it would be better to uproot them so they can all be together. the kids need to see their father and it is important for a family to stick together. What if one da your wife calls and tells you that she needs a husband around and wants a divorce? I think that there is many things wrong with the way your friend approached the situation but i also think if the marraige falls apart it is party the wife to blame for not wanting to go. I understand that uprooting is bad for kids, but isnt a divorce AND a dad they never see even worse?
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
25 Oct 09
Yup I agree with you 100% Brad for all the reasons you've mentioned. Well, this family is now together finally, but at what cost? I said the same thing to the hubby, that it would be better to uproot the family, because I'm sorry but a family is a package deal! You stay together through thick and thin not distance! Yes I agree it would be the wife's fault for not going. Well, so far it appears that they're marriage is fine, but you never really know the "inside scoop" unless you're a bug on their ceiling. ;)
