How much is enough?
By Judyyoungg
@Judyyoungg (19)
United States
October 27, 2009 8:40pm CST
I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, we were both in high school when we started dating and now he's a freshman at NYU and I'm a senior at a high school in Georgia. For me, I love him, hands down. I think about him every day and he nearly never really leaves my mind.
But recently, we've been arguing more than the usual, and I don't really blame it on the long-distance because we were doing fine for two months. We argue mostly on his lack of efforts, I don't really see him putting much into it like texting back in a timely manner or calling back when I call. He's not the type of guy to cheat, if he's through with a girl, he can break up with her; so I don't think he's been seeing other girls as well (plus he's a huge hermit).
I'm the type of person who likes to be shown change and efforts, not constantly told that things will be different the next time.
To you mylotters, when is the right time to just, let go? Does he need to cheat? Does he need to hit the other person? Or simply, say something incredibly rude to his significant other? Where do you draw the line.
2 people like this
7 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Oct 09
You sound like a smart girl. They key to ending a relationship and still being on good terms with the person so that a friendship can be maintained would be in the timing. When things just aren't going right for you anymore...when your upset more than not that is when it is time to say...hey let's take a break. This just is not working for me. Don't wait until he does something horrible. You don't need any other reason than it simply is not working for you. In doing it this way, you will maybe upset him but he will respect you for your honesty. Once the hurt wears off, you will be able to be friends again and who knows maybe even work things out. You may also find that you have simply outgrown this relationship. .
2 people like this
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
28 Oct 09
Every relationship goes through ups and downs. You need to decide if you love him or if you don't really want to be bothered putting the time into the relationship. Since you are dating, this is a good time to decide if this is what you want to go through for the rest of your life. You aren't married yet, but if you were this could still be happening. The best time to call it quits is before you even think of getting married. If you love him and are just having a spat, then like all things, it will pass and you will forget about this. Goodluck.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Oct 09
hi judyyoungg From the sound of what you said, I think that
you already know the answer but need help to decide.you are
only 17 and just getting out of high school. Yes you love
him but you do not sound like you are really ready for a
steady live together type of relationships and he sounds like
he might be wanting to date others. I would think it was time
to cool it perhaps as you probably will go on to college first
anyway. of course this is ultimately your own decision but
you really sound like you have already decided it. You may yet
find the perfect person too so I would not be too hasty to get tied down if I were you.
1 person likes this
@Judyyoungg (19)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Hi hatley,
What you have said to me made plenty of sense, and I have decided to wait upon my college response letters before talking to my boyfriend about anything else serious for the time being. We had made amends and are doing fine for now; he's finishing up his midterms as I am finishing up college applications and maintaining good grades.
And true, I am at a very young age, which makes me more susceptible to leaving this relationship and moving onto others. But for some reason I really do hope this one works out, I care for him a lot and have tended to him during his sickness and vice versa. I guess it'd feel wrong for me to leave a guy who took care of me while I was in my most ugly, disgusting, or pitiful situation. He knows everything about me, and I guess that's why I also work so hard in this relationship. According to him, he says I don't need to work too hard. Could that be our main problem?
1 person likes this
@lindiebiz (1006)
• Canada
28 Oct 09
I think the problem is the distance like they say out of sight is out of mind. This has happened to a friend of mind a relationship they for 3 years and they had to seperate because of work, after a while, communication became strained, and she found out he was cheating on her. I would advice you to talk to your boyfriend tell him how you feel about communcation if he promies to change and he does good if not try to see him presonally and know what is on his mind
1 person likes this
@huangdangwu (162)
• China
3 Nov 09
hello~ judy ! to be honest , the long-distance is a big problem between the lovers , i'm a college student now , and i've seen a lots of my classmate who broke up their love which was started from high school , in my opinion ,i think it's not correct to request someone with your own standard , like the argue between you and your bf , you think he is lack of effort ,maybe you just don't know the situation he is in ~ ~ as you are still a senior student ,i suggest you setting your mind on your study first ~ : ) ~ good luck to you~ my friend !
@aking888 (66)
• China
28 Oct 09
say good bye with your boy friend.in high school,many younger people talk about love,after they finish study their study,they often split up.in school,you need not spend much time on talking ahout love and mostly spend your time on studying.that will good to you in your life.
1 person likes this
