Are you shy?

October 29, 2009 2:32pm CST
When I was younger I was really shy. I didn't like being the centre of attention. I didn't know what to say to strangers. I recently said to a colleague that I am shy and she started laughing and said 'yeah, right! And I'm Santa Clause!'. I guess I have changed over the years and lost a lot of my shyness without realising it. Maybe it's time to look at myself afresh.
4 people like this
34 responses
@nhagen (30)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I am extremely shy until I get to know you, then it changes. I HATE being the center of attention. Recently I had a bridal shower and I HATED it...everyone was watching me (and there were several people there) and I hated every minute of it. I am glad you have changed and hopefully I will slowly learn to change as well!
@agv0419 (3027)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
I'm also shy to other people that I don't know personally. I don't want to start a conversation with anyone that I don't know because I'm afraid that they are not interested to talk with me. I hate also being the center of attention when I was studying I hate to stand up in the front of the class.
30 Oct 09
I think the one thing that most helped me to overcome my shyness was that I am very ambitious. I hated presenting in front of the class. But once I started working I realised that I wouldn't progress, if I wouldn't get better at it. So I practised and practised until it got easier. Hope you have a lovely wedding!
@nhagen (30)
• United States
16 Nov 09
Thanks! I am working on it by practicing and I think I am slowly getting better! P.S. I did have a lovely wedding and thanks!
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
Yes i am taraelocin. When i was a child i am afraid of people. My parents were very protective and we are not exposed to people. It took me a long time to overcome my shyness. It was my aunt who helped me come out of my shell. She would bring me to conferences,(she is a teacher) even if i just sit quietly beside her. She pushed me to join extra curricular activities in school. And then slowly i enjoyed not being too shy anymore. In college my shyness was still there but i myself exerted lots of effort to overcome it. My first job was a real challenge to me because i have to talk to government officals to coordinate activities in the community. My first presentation with the local officials in our province was a big desaster due to my shyness. My legs trembled and my hands were icy cold. My voice also trembled and i stammered when i speak. I was so ashamed of what happened. From then on i promised my self not to be shy anymore because it does not help me a bit.
30 Oct 09
True, being shy doesn't help at all, it rather hinders. But still a lot of people struggle with it. Being overprotective can be an issue as your kids are not forced to go and get what they need themselves. You were lucky to have your aunt.
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Oh yes, i was so lucky. Another remedy for shyness is confidence. So a shy person should build self confidence.
@lrglara (1347)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
no.. i dont think so. even when i was young, i dont think i was shy. i started to overcome my shyness when i joined declamation contests, storytelling contests, and presentations in school... i have to admit that my mother and teachers are very supportive. not that i dont get nervous talking to strangers, but once i get comfortable, the shyness goes away... :)
30 Oct 09
Those activities certainly helped building your self confidence. My parents tried that with my sister and me. I loved it, but it made my sister even more shy.
@lrglara (1347)
• Philippines
31 Oct 09
shyness, just like any other fear, can be overcome. you dont have to make a big step to try it. just let it flow. like they say, imagine yourself being in your favorite or happy place and the rest will come. try what ralph fiennes did in maid in manhattan, he channeled all his energy in the paperclip whenever he's nervous (according to the story), why don't your sister try the same...:)
@hellcowboy (7380)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I used to be shy when I was younger and I would not talk to anyone even my friends and I would just sit back and watch what was going on without getting any attention drawn to myself,and I did not like talking to people,until my friends actually got me to start talking more,and to start putting in my two cents,even though I am still kind of shy and I do not like making decisions,and I would rather other people make decisions so that way I do not have to risk someone saying my idea is stupid or making fun of me,even though I know my wife would not do that,and neither would our friends.
30 Oct 09
I think it is quite common with shy people that they think people would think they are stupid if they are saying something wrong. It is a question of self-confidence. Outgoing people wouldn't just laugh if they made a fool out of themselves.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Oct 09
I think that shy people can have self esteem or self confidence issues,which makes them more vulnerable,to bullying.
31 Oct 09
When it comes to drama in school, I also pray that the teacher does not pick me , and what does she do? She picks me! It's utterly annoying as I am really shy and then I get on stage and it always shows but sometimes I am not so shy and I just let it out. It depends really, if I am out with friends - then obviously I am not shy but with new people I am very much. Especially on the phone when someone calls!
31 Oct 09
Maybe your teacher picks you out to help you become more confident. Try to take it as a learning opportunity to make you less shy. It will help you in the future.
@williamjisir (22900)
• China
31 Oct 09
Hello taraelocin. Like you, I was shy when I was young. Even now I am still somewhat shy in public and I never like to be the center of attention. There were a few times when I was praised at our school conference and I felt shy when hearing me being praised. Later I told my related boss not to mention me on such occasions and they do respect me in this regard. I feel happy for it.
31 Oct 09
It's great that you stood up for yourself and said that you are not happy to be singled out even if positive. Whilst being shy I was always very competitive and being praised was the one thing I didn't mind.
@Mac6999 (706)
• India
30 Oct 09
I was also very shy when I was young. I did not like talking alot and certainly did not like to be the centre of attention. I did not like mixing with a lot of people. I had my friend circle and that was it. I have changed over the past few years, I still dont talk a lot but I am not shy anymore and dont mind mixing with people. I think there are many shy people who change as they get older.
31 Oct 09
I think so - if we get older we get less worried. We know more what we can do and we have more confidence. Thanks for the comment.
• United States
30 Oct 09
I used to be shy when I was younger, but I just started to think, "Who cares?" and then didn't worry about what people thought. Now, I'm far more outgoing. I think we are shy because we worry too much about what others think about us.
31 Oct 09
Absolutely true. We are often too self aware and that makes us shy.
@calai618 (1779)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
I also consider myself very shy because I hate being in the spotlight and I tend to freak out when there are people watching me. I would love to be invisible honestly. but, people who knows me far too well and those who are always with me would not categorize me as shy because I can be very talkative and outgoing when I am with them. Maybe it's because they are the people I am confident to be with and who I can be myself with..
30 Oct 09
It probably is. I'd hate being invisible though - even though I was shy I hated being left out! I was just too shy to do something about it.
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
I could say that I am in the middle depending on the situation as I could be shy when meeting a stranger and creating noises. Then, I make friends, become the school representatives in drawing and slogan contest, likes to recite in class and do report orally then participating in oration and declamation. It only mean i could be shy and smart at the same time.
30 Oct 09
I think nobody is only shy or only outgoing. Sometimes the healthy middle is just perfect.
@JIMBOH (62)
30 Oct 09
Yes. I wasn't shy until around 5th grade but i have been ever since. I am older now and I still don't like to speak much to people I don't know. I know that being an adult means more responsibility so I have to come out of my shell once in a while but I still really like my shell.
30 Oct 09
That's quite unusual that you only started being shy when you were a little older. Did something specific happen who triggered that?
@biman_s (1060)
• India
30 Oct 09
I would say that I was shy also when I was a lot younger. But as years passed on and I started to meet new people and started to make new friends I got a lot of new confidence in me. This really helped me to get over my shyness and now I can say to myself that I am not that shy anymore.
30 Oct 09
That's great. It has a lot to do with experience, hasn't it?
@carmelbg (521)
30 Oct 09
I was quite shy when I was younger. I was uncomfortable meeting new people. I still consider myself a little shy, but my husband and friends think I am quite outgoing and lively. I do enjoy meeting new people now.
30 Oct 09
Enjoying meeting new people is a sign that you've probably outgrown your shyness. You are not afraid of strangers any more. Well done.
@GemmaR (8521)
30 Oct 09
I am very shy, and I finding meeting new people very awkward indeed. I have just started university and have had to make friends with alot of new people in the last couple of months. I have coped very well with it, and I am very proud of the way I've handled myself around the new people. I will always find it hard though I think it's just the kind of person I am, although I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be.
30 Oct 09
Good - be proud of yourself. You are making a good start and over time it might not be quite as hard anymore. You'll get used to it.
@patofgold23 (5075)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
hi there tara... i was very shy when i was younger too... but hey, im 31 now..with two kids... ive outgrown all of my shyness... and im the exact opposite...
30 Oct 09
Good on you. Do you recongnise yourself in your kids? Are they shy like you were?
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
I am a shy kid my self before. I remember a picture of mine wayback in kinder wherein I am in the front stage while introducing my self while sobbing and crying. I don't want to be around to strangers wayback then. However things started to change when I go to highschool. As I joined organizations and started to identify my self to a group I became more confident. People now call me a a natural and charismatic leader
30 Oct 09
It's great that you grew from being shy to being so confident.
@jen20ixm (165)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
also, im a really shy when i was a kid, but time passes, i think i have overcome the shyness and little by little i get comportable with myself and body and become more confident in a crowd, i dont mind being the center of attraction. i think we outgrow this stuff as we get older.
30 Oct 09
Not everybody does, but luckily many people do.
• China
30 Oct 09
Hi,i have the same feeling for you ,i was shy when i was young,i like to stay alone,i just want to do what i like ,i often stay away from the term,i donot want to be centre among the students,now i become a little open ,i try to be involved in my friends ,try to share ideas with them ,i have known the weakness of shy.i want to change the condition,how about you,try to change it .
30 Oct 09
It's a great feeling when you know you are overcoming your weaknesses. I know I am much, much less shy than I used to be. And I am comfortable in my skin now. I am not the most outgoing person, but I make an effort to get to know people and stand up for myself.
@Rondita (92)
• United States
30 Oct 09
yes when i first meet someone i can be shy untill i get to know them a little better then i open up a little more
30 Oct 09
It's all about making a stranger a friend. You are less shy with a friend because you know they are nice people.
@mizcash (686)
• Canada
30 Oct 09
That was me when i was younger but, i have matured out of it now. I am no way near shy, I am forth right and not afraid to approach people. I find I am more friendly.
30 Oct 09
Good point - being shy can come across as being unfriendly. Even though it is often not at all the case.