Ive been cheated, I feel so lost now !!!!

India
October 29, 2009 8:49pm CST
Heloo friends, I am back to mylot after a looong time.....I am in tough situation right now and wanted your help..... I just got a text message by my GF saying that she has someone in her life and that she wants me to forget her for good.....she was constantly avoiding all my messages and calls and later mentioned that we could be good friends.....I was told by all my friends that she would do this to me one day and she knew that people thought about her this way but still I trusted her and was always with her in thick and thin situations and I really cant believe that she did this to me......I was in total depression for almost a week and was not able to eat a single morsel of food....neither was I able to concentrate on my work......somewhere I feel better now after my friends explained that I somehow have to forget her and need to have a life of my own.....and that it is a part and parcel of life....... I understand it all but it gets really difficult for me to not think about her as I still cant forget her and whenever I am alone or traveling I think about her.....I have no clue if I will ever be able to forget her and get a life of my own....I really feel lonely now as I always used to share with her everything that happened in my life.....I really want to get back to normal for my family and friends but have no clue how to get over it.....plz help !!!!! God Bless !!!!
10 people like this
36 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
Remember that regardless the situation, we will always forget and move on. Yes, it seems difficult now, but it isn't permanent. Her having to dump you like that is not an easy thing for your part, but just remember how she could just let go of you at first sign of something better. This shows you that she's not really true and is selfish. You should praise right now because she's gone and you won't have to get through this all when you're older, uglier and with kids. Get it? You're a man. You have nothing to lose. If you keep on putting her in your head and in your heart, you'd regret wasting time instead of making her sorry for leaving you in the first place. My brother used to tell me, whenever a bad thing happens and relationships fail, he doesn't think of the 'good' days, instead he thinks of the bad. The mere fact that you keep on remembering the good times together means that you're stuck with something you should do about. Stop thinking of the good. Think of how low she is. How bad that she could just send you a message and not really talk to you about breaking up face-to-face. Motivate yourself to be better. Earn more, have more friends. Show her that she's the one with the problem. Stop moping. Stop pitying yourself. You're a man for crying out loud! Destroy anything that belongs to her. Change routines if you have to. Just do everything to remind yourself she's no good and she just proved she isn't. Remember, you can do this.
5 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
Thanks a lot laydee, It does make me feel better already......I know it will take some time for me to heal completely......and guess what when I started thinking some bad things bout her I already had some.....maybe this just wasn't meant for me.....I will certainly try to do all the things that you just mentioned to me.....and I hope it works coz its affecting my job drastically......i just cant concentrate on what I am suppose to do.....You know what you just made my day today....thanks a lot !!!!
3 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
The topic has been there for three years and I would like to follow-up on you. How are you doing? I do hope that you've moved on and is now really happy. How are you? What did you do to move on? Have a great mylot experience ahead!
@free_man (7330)
• United States
30 Oct 09
Pick yourself up by your boot straps and get back into the scene and let her know that your not going to sit around and wait till she figures out she left a great guy. Don't let her bring you down hon there are many women out there looking for a great guy like you. Pray about it I know that works. Because I seen someone I really wanted to be in my life as I drove home that day I asked God if I have ever done anything right in my life please give me that person. And three months later we were married and have been together for over 2 years now and boy am I happy.
• India
30 Oct 09
Hi free_man, It is really motivating to hear something of this sort......I will certainly pray that god gives me someone whom i can trust and lean on.....coz i really cant trust anyone at the moment !!!!! Thank you so much for your suggestion !!!!
3 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
31 Oct 09
I know it is a hard thing to lose someone that you thought you could love and trust. But the first thing you need to do is trust yourself first, then you will be able to trust someone else. Keep praying God has someone special for you somewhere maybe your just not ready. Do Gods will first and trust in God to give you the right mate. God has plans for all of us, and He has someone special for each and everyone of us. Some of us have to wait for many years. I know God sent me the right person.God will send you the right person too if you trust in God.
@mizcash (685)
• Canada
30 Oct 09
I am sorry to hear what has happened to you, it's not fair for someone to cheat on another. It is best to break off the relationship first. But, don't get depress about it, the good that CAME OUT OF IT IS, you found out before you married her. Someone special is out there for you, don't give up. Pray for strength and God will deliver you from saddnes and you will have joy again. Let her go because what goes around must come back around.
3 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
Yes I do pray to god that he delivers me from all my sadness and pain......and I know that god will do something great for me in days to come......thank you so much and keep me in your prayers !!!!
2 people like this
• United States
30 Oct 09
You deserve better in my opinion. She just ups and dumps you, out of the blue, for someone who she thinks is better. I've had this done to me too. The only difference was, that I wanted to break up, but he ended up marrying this girl and now they're having a baby. I'm not going to say that its going to be easy for forget her, as matter of fact, you probably never will. Give yourself time to grow and to experience time alone. You have to get used to being alone before you can get used to being with someone else. This way, you won't be comparing everyone else to her, and your heart will have time to heal. Honestly, I think its okay to think about her, to wonder what she's doing and how she's doing, but don't let it go any further. Fill your time and your thoughts up with things that you really enjoy doing. If you feel a tinge of sadness remember that Jesus loves you and that He has someone special in mind. "For I know the thoughts and plans I have for you says the Lord, thoughts of good and not evil, to give you an expected end." Jer 29:11 (I hope I quoted that right). Let Him find you someone, in the meantime, just love your family and friends and be there for them in every situation. Just like you shared every thought and emotion with her, I'm sure there's someone in your circle of friends or in your family that will listen. Jesus and my family are two big things that help me through this situation with my ex. We were together for 6 yrs, and no we weren't perfect, but we did make alot of plans for the future. I found out the hard way that no one can plan my future, except the One who knows me better than I know myself, and has my best interest at heart. Maybe all of this is happening for a reason, I know that's something you've probably already heard, but who honestly knows? Just hold tight, there's someone out there for you. Keep your eyes on Jesus ;) God bless you.
• India
1 Nov 09
Thank you so much dear, I now indeed feel that god has some special plans for me and that this relationship was just not meant for me.....and yes I should not forget that Jesus loves me and that he is always with me......thanks for making me realize that......reading all your beautiful comments makes me feel so good already !!!!
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
hello John, No wonder I haven't seen you around lately. I don't know what to say, must have been terrible to get cheated that and have this girl tell you to forget her. i agree with laydee, you didn't deserve that, you needed at least an explanation or a final conversation to end the relationship, she kinda like threw you off like a used towel. i guess it's easy for me to say to seek revenge but i know it's not your way. no matter how hard it is it's better to do your best to forget her and do other things that keep you occupied, i believe there's a will, there's a way. you have to find that your self my friend. unfortunately, this is ONE reason why i can't afford to have one since i know, i might experience the same thing that happened to you.
4 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
I know......it is really hurting specially because I have spent 3 years with her and it is not a short time......there were times when we used to have fights, but we always used to get over it within hours and now she just left me and the worst part is she told me bout her new found love after 3 months !!!!! Hope I get over it real soon.....because it is affecting my work drastically and specially because I have just started working !!!!!
2 people like this
• United States
30 Oct 09
Dude, I kinda know how you feel. Me and a long time friend/ girlfriend were talking about marriage. She just had broken up with a guy that she was dating but lost interest. She said she was in love with this other guy when she was dating the first guy. And finally she said that she realized that she only loved the other guy because he reminded her of me. I told her that we needed to slow down some and she sent me a very nasty, disrespecting Email full of hateful and hurtful comments. I did feel like there were three guys that had been cheated and I did kinda get depressed that I lost what I thought was my best friend. But in the end I decided to pray about it and realized that at this moment in life I amuch netter off without a girlfriend. I wish you the best and hope that you will make a decision that benefits you in the long run. You are not alone.
• India
1 Nov 09
Its really sad to hear that.......its more painfull than me.......I just hope I get over this soon......thanks for your advice !!!!
@akotalagato (1334)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
what can i say... move on with your life. think of it as a blessing in disguise. at least your not yet married, you can still find someone out there that is truly for you. you may be lonely now, but life goes on, a day will come for you to meet your true match.
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
you better stop worrying. . Go on with your life for there are many good things that will come your way and you will certainly meet sombedoy who is meant for you. Time will tell and just wait for that someone special meant for you will come in due time.
2 people like this
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
It sounds like you love her so much! I think it's important for you to accept what she told you. She was fair enough to tell you that she has someone else in her life. I hate to say this but, she probably did because she fall out of love but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you as a friend and that doesn't mean that she found somebody better. It may mean that you will meet somebody else in the future who will be deserving your love. I can understand that you can't be friends with her yet, but as soon as you are able to move on. You will. Everybody does. Find someone, a close friend, somebody you trust the most besides her, someone whom you can tell what you are feeling. Do not be afraid to say to anybody how sad and lonely you are. It's part of starting to move on. Time heals all wounds!, Remember that!
3 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
Thanks friend......I think its time now to accept what has happened and i just hope that time heals all this pain and agony and hopefully I might get back to life soon !!!!! Thanks again !!!!
2 people like this
@panget20 (76)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
Hi there friend! First of all, i am very sorry for what had happened to you. Just dont lose hope, just always remember that there will always be a sunshine after the rain. Day by day you'll have to learn the virtue of acceptance as this is the only way you can whole heartedly give your forgiveness and later on forget about what had happened and eventually move on. Maybe she is not the right one for you. I may not know her reasons of leaving you,what i have to say about her is that, she has been an instrument for you to become strong and to have a positive oulook in life. Just look at the brighter side, God is cooking something better for you. Just pray! God Bless!!
• India
1 Nov 09
Thnx a lot panget20, I think that I need to reach to that acceptance level soon......as this will only make my life more miserable......and yes I am waiting for god to cook something and feed me......TC !!!!
• India
30 Oct 09
I really love this response... What you have said is really inspiring... 'there will always be a sunshine after the rain'I never thought in this way ever.... Even, once I was in this situation, same like as John is now... But somehow managed... Thanks for putting your nice response here.. Cheers... God bless
2 people like this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
30 Oct 09
Hi John4Christ! It's good to see you back after being away so long! I wondered what happened but I remember one time you said you had gotten a job so I figured it was keeping you busy and you didn't have time to mylot. Anyway, about your girlfriend, I'm sorry she has done you this way, after all the thick and thin you went through with her. I happen to agree with your friends, though. I know it's hard but the best thing to do is just forget her and get a life of your own. Like they said, it's just part of life. I wish I could tell you how to forget her. The only thing I can suggest is get busy with hobbies. This should help you get your mind off of her. Remember, too, that it will pass and maybe someday the right one will come along that you will want to spend the rest of your life with. I hope I was able to help. Hugs! Kathy.
2 people like this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
30 Oct 09
I'm highly sensitive, myself, and I understand how you feel. I'm glad you are feeling better, though. It helps to talk about these things, doesn't it? I just hope it won't cause you to get fired from your job. I hope things will get better for you and please be assured that I will keep you in my prayers. Kathy.
2 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
Hi Kathy, I know its been a long time I was away, actually too busy with my job and the worst part is this thing has affected my job drastically and I am not able to concentrate on my work at all......I had taken leave from my work for 2 days as I was simply not able to do justice to it......I am very sensitive by nature and spent hours crying initially......I still feel better now but that bitter feeling still haunts me night and day and I don't really get sound sleep......please keep me in your prayers kathy coz I know god might have a different plan for me altogether and only he knows what best to do !!!! It was great to hear from you !!!!!
2 people like this
• United States
30 Oct 09
I have felt the same way as you do and I never thought I would get over it. So, I don't know if I can say anything that will help right NOW, but I can tell you that one day it won't hurt this much. I am now married to someone else! I'm assuming from your name that you are a Christian? (Genius, me!) Then you know what to do. Look up! I don't say that lightly and I know how hard it is to do when you don't 'feel' it, but look at God, look at who He is and know you are precious in His sight, and let that give you perspective on the things we're stuck with down here!! It will take time, but you will be ok, don't despair. Its kind of a grieving process, I think.
@VVroom (255)
• Romania
30 Oct 09
Hi John. Don't worry, it will pass. It's just one experience from a chain of many others called life. If it helps with anything... everybody is encountering this situation. Plus... if she left... she was not meant for you, so... why are you suffering? Say thanks and go on with your life. The one who's waiting for you is outhere, why do you waste your time? Cheer up!
• China
30 Oct 09
come on ,man ? we couldn't just always feel bad only because our girl left us ?we shoud move on and find another better one ?she left you ,so she lost someone who loved her very much ?but ,you just lost someone who did not love you ?OK ?come on,and find a better one ?
2 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
Feeling really bad for you John, its never easy to accept the fact that somebody you love so much could actually love somebody else. Time is the biggest healer and you too will find your soul mate…she’s there somewhere, only the time should be right for both of you to meet. Regarding your present status, its very difficult to forget as long as you hold a grudge in your mind. First and foremost, don’t think that you have been cheated…think that she was not in love with you and so instead of cheating on you, she told you the truth and went away with her true love. Wish her well, wish her success but don’t keep any contacts with her. Don’t keep the roads open so that even if she is cheated by her love, she can come back to you. NO…you are not to be used like that…so as of now, wish her good and let the darkness of betrayal lift away from your heart.
2 people like this
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
I believe that there's no way to forget her. I believe that the bonds you shared together will ever perished, those precious time that you where together, but remember that there are reasons why things happen, and we should accept it and step forward, keeping moving on, I know it's hard because I've been there, but remember that if you will stick to what happened and just reminisce the good memories all the time you won't really get back to normal. They say time heals, and I believe on that. You should look around you think there are more good and important things that you should do, God wants you to have a better life that is for sure. God bless.
2 people like this
@voldrox (7191)
• India
30 Oct 09
Hi john I am sorry to hear that john, i understand it is tough on such a nice person as you, you never deserved her, she was coward enough to break up over a txt message, i am sure you will find someone much much better than her, just look at it from her point of view, how selfish she has been, most importantly i guess she didn't even realize such a wonderful person you are... she doesn't deserve you, she never cared enough, if she was totally serious about it she would not even have dared to fall in love with any other but she could not help coz she is weak, God will soon make things alright John, He has good plans for you my friend, pray... prayers bring peace within, you will get the answer but you might have to wait for sometime, have the patience and one day you will realize she didn't deserve you and you are better off without her coz someone really special is coming your way.
2 people like this
• India
30 Oct 09
Hi John, Welcome back.. I am sorry to hear this... But never let your hope down... Put everything in God and He will give you rest and peace... I hope He has a great paln for you.. Let His plan fulfill in your life... Cheers.. God bless...
2 people like this
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
Hi John4Christ,know what, everyone encounters frustrations in life not only you. Firts be thankful because at least you have loved and be loved for a while. Better than those who have not loved at all. Remember theres a saying that goes like that. Second learn from it, do not fret, think of what that experience has taught you. Try to be strong, focus your attention to other things. Its normal to think of her still, but later on you will learn to forget her. Try to talk to a pastor or a priest but i would recommend a pastor. Pray, seek help from God and be active in your church. Who knows its there where you can meet the one really destined to be your partner forever. Frustrations, trials and failures are ways of getting closer to GOD. I can imagine Him carrying you now. (Do you know Footprints in the Sand?)
@rhan04 (307)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
Sorry about what happened to you... I'm not sure about other people...but for me, I don't really think that you can completely forget someone who has been a part of your life, no matter the anger and hate that we feel. I know it must hurt so much. I have been in that situation twice! And thank God, I was able to get over them. As what I always tell to my friends with the same situation and to myself, try to keep yourself busy. Do things that will really distract you. Try to meet new people who share the same interest as you. Or maybe do the things that you know she doesn't like you doing. That's what I did. Good luck to you. And I really hope you get over her. Just be strong. Don't let it pull you down. If you did, it's also like saying that you lose the fight.
2 people like this