Should we let it define us..or deal with it and go on with life?

@jeanena (2198)
Bucklin, Kansas
October 30, 2009 6:44am CST
When I was younger not much past my teens(20) my Stepdad,Stepgrandma,And a Step uncle were all murdered by my stepdads stepdad. He also shot my step dads sister in the back and pistol whipped my mom.Now every year about the time it happened I see a change in my mom and sometimes I don't know that she even realises that it is happening to her . I know it has made an Impact in my life that will never go away. I guess a double funeral will do that to you. I think we pretty much have dealt with it and have gone on with life and in some ways it has made us stronger people because we know we can make it past just about anything. But there are things that it has forever changed in my mom and i both. For Instance 4th of july the sound of fireworks when she isnt expecting it gets to her . I can't stand seeing anyone pointing a even a toy gun at someone. It is a very hard thing to explain to a 2 year old. I have seen things like this that people just never get over. So tell me what do you think? Do you think a person should just be able to lay down the past? Has anything like this happened in your life? Senseless loss..
3 responses
moneymakingtoday
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
31 Oct 09
We lost the head of the family 6 years ago. It was a senseless loss (murder) and it was terrible losing a husband and a father to my 3 teenagers at that time. It was really hard for me pursuing on the investigation of the case and worrying, on the other hand, of our family's future. I was idle for so many months, went on leave from work, because I still felt I was emotionally and psychologically ready for it. With strong support from relatives and very close friends, little by little I rose back from idleness and depression and slowing made my way into normal life. Things are not completely out of me yet and still vividly remember the sad and unfortunate happenings of our life but I feel we just have to go through it. It happened, we didn't choose it to happen, and life just needs to go on. Lots of prayers and gaining strength from God helped me a lot. It may not be our normal life anymore but it's life!
~Jodi~
@jeanena (2198)
• Bucklin, Kansas
31 Oct 09
I am sorry for your loss and for your childrens loss. I don't know what we would have done if not for the support of our friends and from at the time my future husband and his family.
moneymakingtoday
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
31 Oct 09
... it should correctly read: I still felt I was NOT emotionally and " x x x " (word "not" inadvertently omitted there) .. my apologies
Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
30 Oct 09
Oh Goodness Sweetie that is so terrible and I am not surprised that this has left scars for Life, it is just awful I am so shocked at this sort of thing, it must be a horror that will stay with you and your Mum forever and I admire you both for dealing with it the way you have Hugs to you both always
~Jodi~
@jeanena (2198)
• Bucklin, Kansas
30 Oct 09
Sometimes I wonder at my sanity. I definately think it left scars below that have never completely healed, but you have to keep living in the here and now and not in the past.
1 person likes this
Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
30 Oct 09
It will do and they will never heal, but you are doing well going forward Hugs
deserthawk
@deserthawk (37)
• United States
30 Oct 09
Everything that happens to us defines us to some extent. No we don't forget the past. We take what is left and build on it. Always forgive the people who do wrong to you. And always remember their names. Those who don't remember and learn from the past. keep repeating the same mistakes. Sounds like you have your head and your heart in the right place.
~Jodi~
@jeanena (2198)
• Bucklin, Kansas
30 Oct 09
I have always heard that forgiveness isn't for the person that harmed you , it is for yourself. I find that it is true in most cases. It makes it easier to deal with what has happened in your life.