Is it okay to be a mistress?

I would be a good mistress.I Don't want to marry the guy .I don't want him to leave his wife.If your friend is waiting for him to leave his wife,then she may get hurt. But if you Know he won't leave his wife and that his family wil come first,then being a mistress won't hurt. But if you Really think he will leave...you will get hurt.

It is good that you support her in this No one can tell their Heart who to love, if she is happy this way then let her be, as long as he treats her well and with respect. It is her choice and her Life, she has to deal with things, she needs to know that you support her no matter what and not criticize her And yes I was married, I am now divorced, my Ex Husband had many Women while we where married, also I went through a lot of abuse in my Marriage, the thing is he was using them for pleasure and that annoyed me, as he was using Women I just wanted to add that before anyone takes offence at my Opinion and thinks I have never been married, yes I have Good Luck to your Friend and I really hope she will be happy

It's not definitely...She has to forget the guy, not easy but she has to do it...She has to think about the family of this guy and her future with him... I am sure she will be able to find another man whom she can start a family with!

In my opinion, it's best to advice your friend to leave the guy, because being involved with a married person is just going to bring more heartbreaks. Even if the married guy chooses your friend, it would be very terrible for the wife of 9 years to bear with. Try to put her plight as the wife and try to coax her into leaving the guy. But anyway, if she persists to remain with the guy, then there's no choice but you have done your best.

I think that she should break it off with this guy. It is not a healthy relationship to be with someone who is already married and in a committed relationship. He is not willing to commit to her, to break it off with his wife if he is not happy with his wife and commit to her. I think that he should owe her that much. But in away I'm sorry to say, but yeah she is a home wrecker and she needs to get out before the wife finds out.

I cannot blame your friend for that matter since she's not aware of it at first but as much as possible if I were here I'll rather choose the right path than stepping to the left because a lot of people around her might be affected and it's a sin already committed by her. Most of the time people who are deeply in love follow their heart and mind but in my opinion there is exception which of which specially if you know that you'll be tagged as a mistress or home wrecker and with that you should follow your mind and everything will be okay but if you wanna stand with your heart then face the consequence.

Love is so blind.She is an adult and it is her life.She must be well aware of the consequences of the decision she takes in her life.If she finds happiness in doing whatever she does let her enjoy her life.It is a situation she alone can understand and act well I think.

Let me see... is it good for him to cheat....NO.... is it ok cause the mistress knows now he is married.... NO Sorry but as a married woman, this woman is just as bad cause she KNOWS he is married. She should have left as soon as she found out, but she didn't. She stayed with him & IS a homewrecker. Sorry things like that & people like that get me mad.

I haven't read all the responses, but in my eyes the man is extremely LAME! Just because the mistress didn't ask if he was married doesn't mean that he isn't living a lie, or evading the truth. He had to see something there he wanted and decided to omit important information. No, it isn't good to love this way, you are hurting someone by being a mistress. My best friend went through the same thing, and is still going through it with her husband. He can't see how come she is so hurt because he is having an affair with another woman. My friend is taking her vows seriously, and just yesterday she found evidence that he hasn't cut off the affair with his mistress. My Mom always gave good advice and one she gave me is "If you can take a man away from his wife, some one can take him away from you." She doesn't want to be seen as a home wrecker, but that is what she is. She might be a good person inside otherwise, but she is hurting a wife (possibly a mother and if the wife is a mother,then she is hurting the children too.) She needs to find a boyfriend that isn't attached to another woman, and stop seeing the married man. She could get into trouble if the man decided to divorce his wife and attach himself to her...plus, is there the chance he is going to leave his wife for her? Many times the man maintains his marriage and his mistress...for years and years. The mistress waits for the man to divorce his wife, and it doesn't happen. The man keeps finding reasons not to divorce his wife. First it's the children, then it's she will get half of everything, then it could be that the wife is sick. Pretty soon the mistress finds that she has spent her entire life waiting for the man to dump his wife...and the mistress has nothing. She needs to really get out of the relationship fast...as the relationship is going nowhere quick.

I think its a difficult situation. I don't know why many men (or at least ones i hear about) seem to think that seeing more than one woman at a time is ok. But they are always more loyal to their OFFICIAL wife/gf, unless they actually break up with them. If they don't break up, might as well forget it. I would be annoyed even if my ex slept with someone quickly after ending our relationship, let alone seeing some guy whos sleeping with someone else already! So I think if ur friend really wants him or want to test how he actually is, just set the ultimatum that either he leaves his wife, or she leaves. But in some way, i feel like he probably won't leave his wife, unless he's the kind that changes wives every few years (aka kind of weak hearted). So overall its better to ditch a man who's already being unfaithful to his wife, even if he would leave her for u, because its bad whichever way it goes.

I think if you have enough self respect,you will not dare become a mistress.I don't see the point in loving a married because in the end,you will still end up being hurt.even if the guy promises her that he will divorce his wife,there is no guarantee he will still end up with her.what if she is not the only mistress? and what if they did end up together after the divorce?will she trust him,knowing that he cheated?

Your friend is making a big mistake, dumping her boyfriend for a married man, dating a married person is a very risky affair, what if his wife finds out and comes after you. I will advice her to end this relationship if she dont want to destroy his marriage besides, there is no guarantee that the guy will leave his wife for her. There are a lot of single guys out there and she can find one

I dunno that depends if she believes adultery is wrong, the way I see it she is wrong too, she already had a boyfriend but was also seeing this guy. Also I would say if you look throughout history every woman that was a mistress something bad happened to, so based on that I would say karma is not in her favor.

Well I feel the girl should not live a life of a mistress, why love a married guy when she knows he is already married, she has a big life ahead of her, if possible she should go back to her previous boyfriend if he is ready to listen to her and she should discuss the entire matter with her previous boyfriend.... I would not recomend she stay as this mans mistress...

First of all the guy in question is not worth so much of love because he started the relationship with a lie. Marriage is not a small affair that can be harmlessly hidden to trap girls. Second who so ever has done the mistake, the blame sure is going to come to your friend.I don't know which country or society you belong to, but I am sure in any sort of society, falling in love with a married man is not a very pleasant thing. I think she should be wise enough to end this as soon as possible. I am sure she can get a lot of nicer single guys to date.

I know she don't wanna be considered as a "home wrecker" for this but she really love the guy and can't afford to loose him. I support her for what she do because she's a dear friend to me. As long as she will not get hurt for what she is doing. can't afford to lose him??? why the hell not? and for that matter, she doesnt have him..HE'S MARRIED..you can't lose what you dont have.. as long as SHE wont get hurt? Never mind anyone else liek the WIFE or possible kids etc.. I'm sorry but I think your friend needs to give her head a shake for starters..he most likely WILL NOT leave his wife..so she will always be second on his list...Him marrying her and them starting a family together later on etc..WILL NOT HAPPEN...so she is just wasting her time...AND being a homewrecker... And you should give your head a shake! IF you were a solid friend you wouldnt support her in this..She is hurting herself, wasting her time and hurting others whove done nothing to deserve it...In the end she will get hurt..You support this? You support your friends behaviour? what if YOU were the wife? would you still support the behaviour? You want your friend to be happy? then dont you think getting her to find a man who IS available rather than one who is just using her would be better??

How can your friend be in love with someone whom she knows is a cheat? That is stupid. Even if he were to leave his wife, he would soon cheat on your friend too. That's the sort of guy who does this. He made sacred vows to be faithful to his wife...he has broken those vows...this sort of man is a rat. Your friend will be out in the cold sooner or later and she will have wasted her time and energy on someone not worth it. Be a real friend and encourage her to leave this rat and fin d someone who will truly cherish her. Are you truly her friend?

Does she want a real relationship, or does she want to be just a toy for a guy to use now and then? If she wants to be just a toy to use now and then on the weekends or whatever, then she's got a good plan. If she wants something real, she needs to ditch this guy as quickly as possible. For one thing, even if this guy breaks up with his wife, he'll end up doing to her, what he did with her. In other words, if he can cheat with this girl, he can obviously cheat on the girl. Then she will be the one who married to a guy that has a mistress on the side. And yes, she will be the "home wrecker" even though it's really that guy that is wrecking his own home. And yes, she will be hurt. You can't sleep with a guy that isn't married to you, and not be hurt. That's like saying I want to put my fingers in the electric socket, but I just don't want to be shocked. Yes you will get shocked. Yes if you sleep around with married people, you will get used and hurt.

You can never be sure that your friend will never get hurt in that situation. The guy is capable of abandonning his wife so it is not impossible for your friend to get abandoned when that guy decides he wants someone new. it was easy for the guy to leave his wife despite being married to her, what more leaving your friend? She is only a gf and she can never ask the guy to marry her anyway..Also, the very thought that the wife is being betrayed should make your friend guilty and realize the mess she's in. Sooner or later she'll get busted and no one will ever accept their situation. the guy can be sued for adultery and your friend is an accessory. I guess your friend is still very lucky to know the real situation of the guy earlier. and isn't it enough of a reason to stay away from the guy when you already know that you've been lied to and another girl(a wife!) is betrayed??? Also, it doesn't follow that when you're a friend, you should always support her. In fact, it is your duty, if you're truly a good friend, to help her open her eyes to the mess she's put herself into. If you truly love your friend, you wouldn't want her to be hurt and to ruin her life further. Yes, she might be hurt if she leaves the guy but that is not the same hurtings the wife would feel if she finds out. your friend can always find someone new since she's free. she deserves someone better as well and the guy needs to be responsible with his life. I believe you know what's right and what's wrong in your heart and please don't make your friendship a reason for you to not contradict what your friend is doing. it is your duty as a friend and a human being to always stay with what's right..Good luck!!!

Oh, that man is not worth the dirt he is standing on. Forget him. He lied about his marriage, he abandoned his wife. Who knows, may be he would do the same to her as he did to his wife!