Is it just me or did medical personnel lose their bed-side manner?
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
November 1, 2009 7:17am CST
When I was ten years old, I slipped while ice skating and got an concussion that resulted in an overnight in the hospital. Mind you I was terrified. They made my parents go home for the night because It was an open ward. Needless to say I was there all alone. I remember how nice everyone was. THey all knew I was soooooo scared so they made my time there as pleasant as possible. Any time I had a physical or any type of contact with medical staff, they were so patient and made me feel special. As if I was the only patient they had. I must report that now a days those types of staff are NO MORE....
BOth of my daughters have had medical issues that caused them to be in hospital or under a doctor's care for certain period of time. Every time they've been seen the nurses and doctor's were ignorant, rude or just plain hard. Its as if when the latest medical material was taught they left out bedside manner. Because they certainly dont have any. I'm not the only one who's said this either. A few people at the ER were saying the same thing. If you are a hard or stern its hard for a child to believe that it's going to be okay.My daughter thought she had done something wrong. I went off! If they're in bad moods, leave you're mood at the door. Imagine being terminally ill and having a doctor or nurse with no personality helping you. What's going on? Have you experienced this type of situations? Does your doctor have a pleasant manner? dl
11 people like this
37 responses
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Seems they've forgotten how to listen too. My daughter has an asthma episode EVERY fall so we're used to it. We were out of some of the medicine she needed & tried to call in to get more. They insisted they had to see her to give it out but couldn't see her for a few days IN WHICH TIME IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO SEVERE SHE'D HAVE BEEN HOSPITALIZED. So they suggested we take her to the E.R. then debated my wife ( who is the benefits clerk for the company we work for ) as to the cost & coverage from out insurance. HELLO...!!! I think she knows how our insurance works SINCE SHE HANDLES IT EVERY FREAKIN DAY! She finally convinced them to work my daughter in & guess what WE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG ( after 12 years of this who'd have thought that? ). They finally re-prescribed the medication we'd asked for after fussing about how rude we were. Again...if they'd have LISTENED we wouldn't have had to be. We're trying to take care or our child & your preventing us....DUH!
I'm really starting to dislike doctors.
Well that's my rant.... & I didn't even get into one about the doctor who didn't listen & put me on a diet that almost killed me.
2 people like this
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
3 Nov 09
At this point we're as much experts on this particular problem as any doctor. We've got 12 yrs experience along with our own childhoods of training. The medication wouldn't have caused any problems. They also didn't get the point that E.R. visits are INCREDIBLY expensive on our insurance. To take her there we not only wouldn't have had money for the medication but we'd be more than half a month behind on the mortgage. Plus our local E.R. is incredibly incompetent, So much so that when I was dying from an appendicitis I had my family drive me to the NEXT town. You might as well just dig yourself a hole in the backyard as go to ours....
& don't even get me started on the doctor who put me ( a hypoglycemic ) on a diabetics diet....
& don't even get me started on the doctor who put me ( a hypoglycemic ) on a diabetics diet....1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
2 Nov 09
After reading your response, you know what struck me most? The fact that they thought you were rude. I would've flipped out. I am soooo pissed at just reading this. The sad part about it is that there's nothing you or I could do about it. Unfortunately ettiquette isnt a crime. It's all about money. I do get the point that they didnt want to be held accountable if something went wrong. However there have been times where the same thing has happened with my daughter. Yes we went to the ER but they were waiting for us with a prescription. They have an urgent care section. They couldve sent you there. THey do things to cover their own *sses. I am sorry that you and yours had to suffer the way that you have. Dl
@dodiapriani (114)
• Indonesia
13 Nov 09
I do not have a personal doctor,so if ill treated at hospital
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
25 Jan 10
Being treated at the emergency room or the hospital in general is tough. There's always someone new treating you so you never get to establish a relationship with the doctor. Its more expensive as well. Plus its like being on an assembly line. You have to repeat your symptoms and issues to every new nurse,intern, doctor. Its unorganized. Lastly if an ambulance comes in you have to wait. In a hospital setting they go in list of priority. The more serious your case, the quicker you get seen. Some have waited 5-6 hours just to be seen the first time. Its all because of insurance and who has it and who doesnt. It goes back to the almighty dollar once again. If your rich you get the best if you're poor good luck and dont let the door hit you where the good lord split ya. Happy Healthy MyLotting my friend dl
@SViswan (12051)
• India
25 Jan 10
It's the same everywhere. I remember I had to be left in the hospital for a surgery when I was 3. At that point, no one was allowed to be in the ward with the patient...and my parents had to leave me there. The nurses and doctors took so much care of me. My mother couldn't bear the thought of leaving me there alone and so she refused to let me be there another night and she was given special permission to be along with me. BUt she recollects that it wasn't necessary because I was well taken care of....and in fact, she made good friends with a few of the nurses there and they are still in cotact after 30 years!
But now I don't find any doctors or nurses that way. Some of the doctors are nice when we are out-patients...but no one has time anymore to be nice:(
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
25 Jan 10
I remember when my daughter was in an accident where she fell through a glass door. Nearly cut her in two. Anyways we got her to the hospital and she was crying of course. The nurse kept saying Crying isnt going to help anything and we need you to calm down. Okay we get it but maybe if they didnt discuss her as if she wasnt there or gave her a smile. I finally lost it and told them about themselves. This is my baby they were taking care of. I was never more upset in my entire life. Now that I am a nurse, I make sure each and every patient knows that they are not just a number to me. I ask them about their kids. I hold their hand if they want. Whatever they need I am there to oblige. I think they need to put themselves in the patient's shoes. Then I bet they be nice. Soemtimes I will admit that its their insurance companies that put so many restrictions on the type of care they get. dl
@SViswan (12051)
• India
26 Mar 10
I'm so glad that you try to understand a patient's needs. We hardly find any doctors and nurses that way. I find way too many rude nurses where I live than doctors.
2 years ago, my son fell at school and had a fracture. The PT instructor checked his leg and took him to the school nurse who said it was just a sprain. The PT instructor and nurse both chided my son for 'pretending' it was so painful and not allowing them to touch his foot to take his sock off. The school receptionist who has known my son since he was 3 years old knows that he does not cry or create a fuss for hurt and pain called me up to inform that he was crying and she was a little worried. Does he need to be sent home in the school bus? My younger son was just a few months and it would have been difficult for me to get to the school to pick up our son (but I would have done it if I knew the seriousness of the situation). I asked her what the nurse said...and she answered that the nurse said it was sprain. So, I asked her to send him in the bus. Imagine my shock...when he was carried home from the gate because he couldn't walk...and he travelled in the bus where the driver didn't even slow down at the bumps and himps and my ppor boy was screaming (I'd never ever heard my son scream at that age) for him to go slow. AFTER he got home, I had call up my husband and we had to take him to the hospital where we found out it was a fracture. Thankfully, the doctor was good then...but I can't say the same for the nurses. My son had a full leg cast for around 2 months!
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
1 Nov 09
I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. Well, I don't know about the latest medical staff attitude because it's been a long time since I go to a hospital and hospitalized. But you are right; children especially might feel a bit insecure and scared and it would help to have a friendly face with some nice and encouraging words too..
1 person likes this
How about an old man with money? That will do the trick.. 
@savypat (20216)
• United States
1 Nov 09
I find myself often in teh ER at our local hospital what with one thing or another, often a family member and we are so lucky, the help is polite and treats you like a human not just another case. The waits are often long but that is because they are so busy. I have not been there with a child and I know that makes everything much more sensitive.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
8 Nov 09
My primary care doctor is always very nice and co-operative. If I need him to sign something or do something for me he always does it. I am disabled so I need him to sign stuff to declare that I can't take jury duty and to get a handicapped placard etc. He admits it if he doesn't know the answer. A lot of doctors think they are God and won't admit that there is something they don't know. I have had some doctors like that and I don't go back to them. I was hospitalized a few years ago and everyone that took care of me was very nice and helpful, some more than others. I think a lot of it has to do with how the patient treats them. Also nurses are overworked and doctors too probably. The insurance companies expect the doctors to see so many patients in a certain amount of time. I think the insurance companies are to blame for a lot of the loss of bed side manners. Everyone has a bad day but they shouldn't take it out on the patient.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
8 Nov 09
If I go to a doctor that I don't like I give him one more chance and then I don't go back. I don't tell him or any of his staff why. Maybe I should like you do and then maybe he'll be a little better for the next patient.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
13 Nov 09
Sadly hospitals have become corporations like everything else. All they care about is making money, and moving business along. Back in the old days people actually cared about the patient, nowadays they only seem to really care about the money. A sad fact, but very true.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
13 Nov 09
Sadly you are absolutely correct. Its like the doctors and other medical staff have become hypnotized by greed and pressure of the insurance companies. I am sure there is alot of down and dirty business going on. Only they're not that stupid. They are making as if its a shock to everyone. NOT! The doctors are getting there pockets greased. The nurses, assistants,and such are taking the brunt of the economical cuts. dl
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
I am sorry but here we are experience that kind of treatment here in our public hospital. I went to hospital just a couple of months ago, the medical staff were there but they were acting like a child. Some of them were dancing just to make notice by the pile of patients. The training nurses and medical staff were the ones interviewing the patient. they don't act like professionals. When I approached the doctor, she did not answer my question but instead she kept sharing her problem to other doctor, which was her personal problems.They are talking aobut personal problems in the middle of many patient waiting for their service adn when she already have time for me and I asked about a certain procedure she told me it was all written in the paper given to you, but i insisted there is no paper given. and when all the procedure were done on me, there was no one adviced me to go home, but I want the one approached them of what will I do. Compare to private hospital there is a big difference and I can say that they treat their patients as special. They work as professionals and that is the kind of people a people with illness needs. A person who cars, protects , understand and save you.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
1 Nov 09
Earlier this year I had my baby girl born at home but afterwards I wouldn't stop bleeding. I lost two and a half liters of blood. My blood pressure went dangerously low and I kept fainting. My body had had enough and was trying to close down I think. I was taken off to hospital in an ambulance. I had the most horrible consultant come to see me. She said that I was probably going to die. She said such upsetting things that I couldn't stop shaking. I was in a high dependency room and much screaming was going on next door. It was terrifying. It took me eight weeks to recover my energy after that nightmare of a time. My darling little baby girl is now 4 months old and I am happy to still be alive.
@charmz1005 (679)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yup, a lot of nurses now are like that, especially those who are left in this country. They are only working for experience so that they would be qualified to go abroad. I myself, a nursing student have seen this, but there are few who really cares about the patient, that is why those universities are now very strict on to teaching student nurses the real value of their profession, even though the main goal of studying and choosing that career is to have a better life, we must still provide true comfort. Imagine we student stays with our patient about 5 hours or more, do you think what do we do then? We just communicate, interact, and build a relationship with them.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Hey Charmz! We must put it out there that not all doctors and nurses are bad. Its just that there are more bad than good. That's why we are having this type of discussions. I am a medical assistant. I dont mean to go all florence nightinggale on you but I will never be cruel or uncaring to one single patient. Imagine being sick, not feeling good and then have your doctor or nurse act as if you're bothering them. I saw a doctor literally tell a woman who asked him if she was going to die say "yeah we all are. some of us sooner than others." I began to cry. After he left I went to her and said that she wasnt going to die. I told her that I overheard them talking and saying she would be fine with the meds they were giving her. If you could've saw her face. SHe was so relieved. I hate to admit this but I am literallly crying right now.That's how bad it was. NO lie!. dl
@net101 (157)
• India
1 Nov 09
There was a time when doctor was compared to God few years back because their only motto was to serve the people in pain. They did everything in their power to bring relief to those suffering pain or disease. Now-a-day, doctors have become money minded. They want to extract as much money from the patient as possible. They count on commissions they get for referring people to costly labs, prescribe costly meds. Time has changed a lot. A friend a mine went to his neighbour doctor in some emergency. The doctor turned him out saying that this (his home) is not a hospital. Take your wife to hospital. It does not mean that there is scarcity of good doctors. There are lots. We just have to spot.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
1 Nov 09
I think you have said it ALL my friend! These days we pay in the upwards of $300 for a two second visit with the doctor. Its sickening. I took my daughter to the ER and I swear I am not exaggerating the doctor came in touched her stomach and left. Never said too much nothing. I think that they are too confident and think they are god. I am not talking all but enough. There are good doctors they are just few and far between. dl
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 09
I agree with you. A few months ago, my dad fainted and we brought him to the private hospital, but since the charges was too high, we have to transfer him to the public hospital. So, while the ambulance was waiting outside, dad was lying on the bed helplessly. He was very weak and he could not walk or even stand. We thought the hospital staff would help to carry him to move him to the ambulance bed, but instead they just watched him trying so hard to move to the other bed. Poor dad 
, we were so mad 
because we were told to wait outside and if they were not happy to do that, we could all go in and help him!!
There was also one incident that was so stupid of the doctors and nurses. The man was admitted because of broken leg. He was brought in on an emergency bed and I think they were really out of their minds when they asked him to move to the hospital bed by himself. He was screaming painfully and they just watched him!!
, we were so mad because we were told to wait outside and if they were not happy to do that, we could all go in and help him!!
There was also one incident that was so stupid of the doctors and nurses. The man was admitted because of broken leg. He was brought in on an emergency bed and I think they were really out of their minds when they asked him to move to the hospital bed by himself. He was screaming painfully and they just watched him!! 1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
1 Nov 09
You know what? You are so lucky that I wasnt there. There's a number you can call regarding a patients rights. I would've called that. I have done it before. At first I thought it was going to be some fu**ed recording. Actually they got right back to me and really were concerned. I also have become very aware of my rights. I carry my camera everywhere. On most digital cameras you can record video. That's exactly what I do. Believe you me when people see that camera come out they begin to act on there best behavior. Please my love dont ever let anyone victimize you or your loved ones. Even if you dont have a camera use a camera phone or get names and witnesses. People like to talk but when it comes down to witnesses they tend to back off. That's why I rely on myself and my personal surveillance(lol) equipment. dl
@Picquarian (724)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I agree to an extent. The hospital in my area that I go to, the nurses are always very nice (at least 95% of them) but the doctors lack bedside manners (15% actually have this trait). They get paid a lot and should be more caring.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I am glad you have that type of care in your area. Where I am from it is very clear that the medical facilities are being run by the insurance companies. Not only the doctors but nurses, technicians etc. No one makes any kind of small talk to make a patient feel better. If I had a chance I would fire them all and hire people that understand a patients feelings and the need to appease them. thanks again. dl
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
5 Nov 09
That sounds pretty bad mate. I've never experienced anything like that. Medical staff here seem pretty laid back in spite of always complaining they are short staffed. Nurses particularly, are very nice and always ready for a joke. I have had occasion recently as a driver to transport some clients to hospital for one reason or another. Let me say the gentlemen concerned are elderly and have no social graces yet have been treated caringly, kindly and gently by the staff. They are even very sweet to me...lol.
What ever happened to people in the nursing and teaching field having a vocation?
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
7 Nov 09
I don't think it's just you. I had a horrible experience recently. I ended up in the ER with a mysterious abdominal pain. I was made to wait in the waiting room for a long time. When my name was called, no medical staff helped me from my chair to the door. I was doubled over and couldn't walk. Someone in the waiting room helped me. No one asked me for my medical history, and I had a history of some serious medical issues, namely pulmonary emboli. When my boyfriend expressed his concerns about this, a physician's assistant said, "Well, she can check herself out and go somewhere else. I DON'T CARE." I was kept overnight for observation. The surgeon who was consulted about my case woke me up at 5 a.m. by turning on the light and yelling at me. I was goggy from the morphine, so it took me a few minutes to get coherent. He also said "I don't care" to me. I ended up leaving without finding out what the pain was. I'm still dealing with the pain, and I haven't been to see another doctor because I've heard nothing but bad things about the doctors in my area.
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
20 Apr 10
I guess a large part of the problem is the fact that hospitals are badly understaffed these days. They're trying to cut back on costs so they increase the number of patients for each doctor or nurse to attend to.
The poor staff are so stressed that it is only natural that they don't have time to spend with patients and that they appear abrupt and uncaring.
The same thing happens in my job. I work as a checkout operator in a major grocery store. I've been doing the job now for almost 9 years and in that time have seen staff numbers slowly dwindle (despite an increase in the number of customers). It is so frustrating, they expect more and more from us but give us less and less to work with! Some days I feel like telling them to take their job and shove it where the sun don't shine! Especially when I have a rough day, getting constantly abused by irate customers sick of waiting due to insufficient staff.
I'm sure the doctors and nurses you are referring to probably feel much the same way. So please, be gentle on them, take their circumstances into consideration as well as your own needs and desires. As you know, a friendly word and a smile goes a long way toward making a day better when you are stressed. And you never know, it might just change their responses to you too.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
10 Nov 09
My doctors treat me great. I had a wonderful experience each time I went. However, I paid a great deal of money for my care, which is exactly why they treated me like a valued customer.
Most of the public, or government-paid health care clinics and hospitals, treat people like crap. This is because the patients are not the customers. They are not paying most of the bill. So how you feel about their treatment of you, really doesn't matter to them, because they'll get paid by the government regardless of if you are happy or not.
This is why people oppose government run health care.
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 09
Yes, there are always black sheep too in the medical profession.We only hope to be treated by the better ones. Those who are polite to us will definitely help the healing process. We can of course complain about these rude doctors and para medical staff, but it is of little use. Leopards do not change their spots!
