We're in love with each other,we're facing the problemssss...

@LisaGuo (242)
China
November 1, 2009 9:08pm CST
We're really in love with each other.We're seeing each other for more than 1 year.I'll never forget the happy days we hang out. However,things often happy when people are ease. Both us are 25.The parents are pushing us to get married.But the truth is that we have no house,have no money in bank,we enev have no stable jobs.Please don't be surprised that in China the young should get married around 25,especially girls. All above are not the worst thing,his mom is ill.The worst result is that she'll be paralysed? It's sad news and shocked me.His mother will have an operation on this 15th.I keep i n asking him everyday about his mom.I want to be supportive to him,on the other side,I'm terrified. Dear,wish all will be good!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
2 Nov 09
In the United States there are many waiting until their 30s to get married. Our family structure is so bad here and uncertain for most. The economy has also lent to this delay in marriages. I was married in my early 20s but could not have a baby until 30. It hurt to wait so long but along the way I spent time educating myself to be a good mother and it really really paid off. If you are with the right person for you, there will never be a time when it is perfect. The whole point of marriage is that you will handle life's problems together instead of alone and by yourself. You are right to wait because of jobs and income. I can see why you are terrified about his mom. This is a whole new area to show support and compassion. It is not easy even if it is your own parents. Being a caregiver for someone who is ill is the hardest job I have had to do in my life. You must guard your time and allow yourself some private time to be yourself, but in the long run caring about and for others is what brings us the most fulfillment in our lives. I am sorry that so many things have come at you. I do wish you all the best in a good start in life. One thing good about life is that it always changes. I am thinking that your changes for the future can be very positive if you concentrate on the positive side. The possibilities for a positive outcome are more possible than the negative. After all you have already had a fine young man come into your life. You use wisdom and good judgment in planning your future. You do not look at an illness and ignore it, you address it. I pray that his mother will have divine intervention to guide doctors and health care and there will be a way to avoid her being paralyzed. I pray that no matter what happens it will have a good outcome in the end.
1 person likes this
@LisaGuo (242)
• China
2 Nov 09
Dear friend,thanks so much for your kind surpport and analysis.Be frank I know all that you said,but I'm still struggling with myself. My parents don't know this sad news even now.I can't imagine how hard it's for me to tell them.Neither I don't know their reflection. Anyway,I'll be supportive to him.He's so nice a man,I feel hard to give him up.I'll do my best for him and his mother.I'll prey too,prey this thing will come out good.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 09
I have prayed and will continue. I know God's heart is saddened by this.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Nov 09
I think you are very supportive to him. He needs your help at present, because his mother is suffering from paralysis. so, he needs your help very much. True love doesnot see bank balance and house etc. But those are necessary to every one, most of the people leading their life without bank balance etc. I think both are educates, so definetly both of you get good jobs.
1 person likes this
@solared (1209)
• United States
2 Nov 09
I say go for it, you may never have those things, but thats not a reason you shouldn't get married. There's the saying were poor but were happy, or I don't have much, but I have you.
@bird123 (10546)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Pressure from others is never a good reason to get married. Marry for true love only. If you are not sure this is true love, give it some time. True love can never really leave for long. Get married only when you are sure!!!
1 person likes this
• China
2 Nov 09
Frankly speaking, on condition that his monther's state, the timing of your marriage is not at present. Moreover, money doesn't remain all to the couple but it does serve as the fundament that requires house, deposite and jobs. Take the automobile for example, marriage is just like the car, facilitating our lives yet ,meanwhile, requiring fuel and maintenance as well. Only in a economically independent and relatively stable circumstance , can marrige thrive. Good Luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
dont be in a rush.. just keep yourself happy.. sometimes it is better for a couple to truly focus on other things..
@skysuccess (8880)
• Singapore
2 Nov 09
LisaGuo, In the first place, I think the both of you will need to settle down with getting a job. I just do not see the both of you being able to do anything else without a source of income and work. I do not see a problem with housing if the both of you could compromise and agree to stay with either parents for a start - especially with his parents since his mother's health is having problems. You do not need to feel bad or out of sorts staying with his parents and moreover, I am sure it will ease the financial burden of paying for a house. As for your boyfriend's mother's medical condition, you may want to check if the family has an insurance for her operation and hospitalization. What about the father? Is he around to support this? If not, I think you may approach your provincial welfare office for assistance. I feel that you should be resourceful with your country's welfare aid that is readily available for families with financial and health difficulties. All of you have already grown up and I think it is time start take over the family's responsibilities. Have a nice day.