mature love is different if you were the dumpee?

It's only ever happened once, there was and is no other woman, he attempted to save his good name by saying he'd been left, without speaking about it we claimed one cafenion each, directly opposite each other, and he got the taverna as it was his first. Even now I am known as his woman in the village, though we never speak and never argued ever. Which reminds me I am meeting a friend in my cafenion shortly, the chances are he will be across the road in his cafenion, so I must leave and make myself look so good that he will go into rapid decline.

Hi dawnald and you know what I say to that? HAH! Fat Chance! I don't know where she got her credentials from but it's certainly not the answer I've ever seen in my lifetime. I've been a dumpee and I know sure as heck I'd never feel that way and be sweet and passive, no way, no how. I think this counselor is from another world that we haven't seen yet, haha. I don't know anyone who's that mature and if they are, they're full of it.

The hurt and anger only last so long. Eventually the dumpee moves on as well, and finds a new love. If the dumpee is still hurt and angry at the ex at this point, then they're bringing that baggage into a new relationship which isn't fair to the new partner who has to deal with all this junk!

Hi dawnald, Well it had happened to me once, mature of not, it is really hriiable, he left me for someone younger, thinking back now it was the best think that happened, now I have been married for nearly 30 years, it was mant to happen, but at he time, I thought he was a coward to dump me over the telephone, the louse. Tamara

Dawn!!!

The person that I was in love with that I thought I would marry dumped me. The person he married was my brother's ex-girlfriend. I think my brother dumped her. LOL Anyway, after knowing that was who he left me for, I couldn't imagine ever wanting him again because she fooled around on everyone. From what I heard she had two kids while they were married and he's not sure they are his. I feel bad for him, but I honestly don't want anything to do with him. Am I happy for him? I don't know, I never really thought about it. I guess I didn't really CARE what he was doing after we broke up. Don't get me wrong. It took a couple years to get over him.

I think one gets dumped early on and you stay together because it's convenient. By the time someone is ready to leave it no longer matters who dumped who because you just don't give a sheet. As for being happy for your ex and mature...I repeat, you just don't give a sheet.

mmm.. i'd probably be happy if he took his stuff and never crossed my path again.. but happy for him..i don't think so.how can you reasonably do the happy dance over "i wanna be with somebody else?" whatever,dude.she can clean your underwears now.mazel tov.

ah..rr...don't think it's possible....Like you said....looks good on paper...whenever people break up there is usually some sort of emotional jerking around that has gone on....even with older people...

hi dawnald Well if I was the dumpee I do think it would take a long time to get over the hurt of someone no longer loving you then dumping you like a blown out tire. I think I would be very angry at first and maybe for a long time. this has never happened to me so I do not know really how I would feel.

I've been on both ends. And it's difficult thing to do, and understand either way. I agree, it looks good on paper, but in reality it's difficult. I was with someone for 2 years, and then he decided he wanted to be with someone else. I was beyond hurt. We were suppose to get married, and I was about 7 months pregnant at the time. It was heart breaking and the last thing I wanted to do was be rational and mature about his decision. I don't think you can be happy for your ex, unless you wanted to see someone else as well. Saying and feeling are two different things. Someone might say that they are happy, but deep down, they are hurt and broken at the decision.

Hey mate , this is a damn good question i must say ! I was a couple of years ago in true love with a girl , we were so happy and she always showed signals of her love but suddenly when she was proposed by someone better she dumped me , yeah i was devastated and by then she was the most cruel thing i had ever seen . I was not engaged to any for a long time after that because i was so badly heartbroke . Then i observed that most of the girls i knew had this procedure and my another best friend got dumped too . Then we started changing ourselves and its now . We are something like injured lions who eat up the most beautiful girls make them believe that its not casual , its true and then for old times sake leave them in the middle of nothing after sometime . I did my revenge with that girl too and she even cried once .i did this long message to tell you what happens to the dumped ones and how bad it does to the dumper some times and i wish you dont commit such mistake ! Goodluck

Hey mate , this is a damn good question i must say ! I was a couple of years ago in true love with a girl , we were so happy and she always showed signals of her love but suddenly when she was proposed by someone better she dumped me , yeah i was devastated and by then she was the most cruel thing i had ever seen . I was not engaged to any for a long time after that because i was so badly heartbroke . Then i observed that most of the girls i knew had this procedure and my another best friend got dumped too . Then we started changing ourselves and its now . We are something like injured lions who eat up the most beautiful girls make them believe that its not casual , its true and then for old times sake leave them in the middle of nothing after sometime . I did my revenge with that girl too and she even cried once .

I think everybody would like to think they are that mature but most people aren't. We're only human and even if you do become happy for your ex at some point I think you would need to be hurt and angry first and then move past it. Those of you who have dumped someone or have broken up on mutual terms know that situation isn't always free of hurt and anger either. It would be nice, but I don't buy anyone could be that mature.

I am not qualified . . . I have no idea . . . I do know some people who are very friendly with their ex and the ex's new partner and that baffles me. I don't think I would bear grudges, but I don't think I would be friends either - friendly, but not friends.

I did take the high road and tried not to be a sour grape. Well, a break up would surely hurt being the dumpee, but then again, I believe in fate. No point forcing something which isn't meant to be. My ex is married now, happily married and I wish nothing but the best. It's possible to be mature, but give a few weeks to hate that person. LOL..after-which, the hate will subside and only contentment remains..

Not at my house,

No.