letting someone go

Philippines
November 6, 2009 4:57am CST
When my grandparents died, I didn't cry much. And that was a long time ago. Since then, nobody in the family died until 2006 when an uncle died of cancer. We were close to him when we were young as he and his wife usually invites us over to their place to play with our cousins. They would even bring us with them whenever they go out of town for vacation. It has been a long time since I last saw him since he and his family are already living abroad. I only heard of the news of his death from my sister. It was a weird feeling though because I can't still believe that he's gone. There were even times when I wake up from sleep crying because I dreamt of him. And also, there are times when I wonder how it would feel like to be the one who's sick. I didn't tell my parents or sister but it seems like I haven't fully let go of him and sometimes finds myself thinking of wanting to see him on Christmas Day (where he usually dress up as Santa). I am confused though and I don't know what to do.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@MAllen400 (830)
6 Nov 09
You are grieving. Grieving for someone takes all different forms. Dont be surprised or upset if your feelings about loosing him change. You will find tears flowing, you might not even be thinking of him. The tears will come when you think of the happy memories with him. You could even find yourself feeling angry with him because he has left you. Other days you will feel him close and cannot believe he is not with you anymore. All this is signs of grieving. I wish I could tell you that after a certain period in time this will stop. It will ease but believe me in many years time there will come a day when you suddenly miss him. I know some will find this odd but look around you when you are low and see if you see a white feather. This will tell you he is with you.
6 Nov 09
It will get better for you I can promise you that and one day you will notice that you are smiling a lot about the things you did, done or said together but you will never forget x
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
Thank you and I'm looking forward to that day when I can finally say I've let him go but not his memories
@23uday (2998)
• India
6 Nov 09
hi yes letting someone go isnt that easy and that too people who are very close to us.this kind of situation everyone faces in their lives and we cannot escape from this rather just accepting the situation.life goes on and we need to go on with time.if they leave us,its just that their time in our life is completed and there are many things we are to be the future viewers.time will heal everything and its just that you require some more time to soothe yourself. have a great time
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
thank you 23uday. Sometimes I feel like a self-centered person, only focusing on what I feel when I know so many people are experiencing more pain than I do. I guess its time I learn to accept that even I have to go through all stages/experiences in life to become really mature.
@chivann (138)
• Cambodia
6 Nov 09
no need to worry much i guess, time will erase everything from the past(that is sure), try to make yourself happy. That's all what the word "life" means...........
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
thank you chivann. I guess I have to start learning to live my life that's different from what I'm used to.
@flagella08 (5068)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
There's nobody who can help yourself but you. This is what I have to say. Goodbyes, no matter how much you wanna coat this word with positive euphemisms, still means a sad greeting told during departures. Create opportunities for your family to remember each other and good times.Letting go. It is difficult for us in so many ways and on so many levels. Yet life calls upon us to do it, over and over again. Letting go is part of our growth process. We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old.
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
Thank you... But I guess it is a bit hard especially for someone who didn't experience losing anyone close to her until she's old enough to understand the feeling. Maybe that's the reason why I don't know what I'm suppose to do
@wju166 (5)
• China
7 Nov 09
one world one dream
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
I agree that situation on you because you don't know the truth about the bible that in that situation we must not really sad because GOD promise in the future that there's a resurrection happened after GOD judgment. You can see your love ones resurrect but in this system we can't really understand but the bible it's one of his promised that will happened.
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
6 Nov 09
This is all a part of life. We've all had to let go of somebody, and we all will later on in life. Right now, the only person that can help you is yourself. You need to know that life moves on, and if you don't go with it, you'll be left behind. You may have to say your goodbyes, but those memories will stay with you forever. You're uncle will always be with you in your heart. Know that. There are people in your life that love you and care about you. I wish you well =)
• United States
6 Nov 09
This is a natural reaction. There isn't much to do, but to pay attention to your feelings and accept them. When someone has shown us love and that person was filled with good qualities, we miss them very much when they are gone. The good thing is that your uncle made a great impression on you and you learned a great deal from him. There is no need to feel bad about missing a loved one. I do urge you to speak to your family about it. They could be feeling the same way as you, but not telling anyone either.