Im 18 yrs old. So is it still bad for me to hang out at night?

@ayebelle (368)
Philippines
November 8, 2009 8:57am CST
I've been tired of my school days this last first semester, because my life was School then home, when i got a break. I mostly hangout at night get drink with some of my friends and my mom doesn't like it. Because im a girl. Wtf! Im already 18 and i can do what i want. But they keep telling me what to do and i hate it. So what is your reaction regarding this? You hate that too right?
2 people like this
24 responses
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Well, not really, I'm 19 and there are a few times that I went home late, around 1am. But now I'm not doing that anymore, first I don't want to spend my parents money just for drinking, second I don't want to get killed just because of drunk drivers, holdapers, and be involved in some riots just because we're drunk. I know the feeling when you reached 18 and think that your already a matured person and can do anything. Honestly that's not the way it is, the best sign that shows you are already matured is when you learn how to listen to others, having the sense of being responsible and not being a burden in your house, when you want to earn money from your own work, and other things that I couldn't explain. I'm not saying I'm already matured, because I'm just 1 year a head of you. But that's only my opinion. Especially your a girl, you should be more careful, I'm not saying that girls are weak, I'm just saying that girls are more precious and there are a lot of stupid guys that abuse your feminism. Hope you understand.
1 person likes this
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Im really amazed of what you said. Well I listened to my mom, but she repeat and repeat what she just said. And I also do some explanations that i can protect myself and i know the troubles ill get. I dont spend money just for drink, my friends do. Thank you for your care. I really appreciated.
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Well, I know what you feel especially when our moms repeat the same thing over and over, and especially when they don't listen to what we are saying even if we have the rights and we have a point. But I think that's how they care, we should just listen as long as we're staying in one roof. Just want to share, I have a friend and classmate that when we were in high school we have the same situations and problems in our home, like being scolded and everything. Now when we got into college he chose the course IT and got a lot of spare time, he used it to just play an online RPG game, Cabal to be specific, after almost 1 year of being addicted to it, he is already earning money, by selling items in real life. Now because of that his mother is not being strict to him anymore and can do almost what he wanted because he's helping in their financial problems. LOL.
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Wow that's so good for your friend. But ill help my parents once i finish my studies and get work. Your cute. Where do live here in Philippines? Can we speak tagalog here?
• Italy
8 Nov 09
Yes, you are free, you are 18, do what you want. Parents will always try to drive us in one direction or another, that's because they educated us as children, it's normal, but...now you're free. Do what you want. And it's not bad to hang out at night, you're not doing anything bad.
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7202)
• India
9 Nov 09
so you say hanging out at night isn't bad at all when someone just turns 18?
@soiree (36)
• India
9 Nov 09
Hey, If you are 18, it doesn't mean you can do ANTHING! YOU ARE 18... SO Did you cast you first vote? Did you make your dad proud for you being his daughter? What is the best thing you've done in your life?? There is something called 'good' and 'bad' in life. But the limits are not the same for all. Depending on so many factors, one become good or bad. Being in a country like India(if you are so), known for its culture you must be knowing your limits better. Your statement of your mom not liking your action just because you are a GIRL is totally stupid. How do you know? May be she must have told the same to her SON too(if she had had one).. Drinking is seriously injurious to health!! and i bet you know it!!! It might be "COOL" or "FUN", but its not the way of life dude. ONE, you are spoiling you health. TWO, you are wasting your dad's hard-earned money. Both, according to me is wrong. We, the youngsters are to build the future of our country. Don't you feel responsible??? Don't you have the fire to acheive great things??.... If you actually did, i bet you'll never go hang out with friends to drink. It may sound all dramatic, but truth always is bitter! Just imagine, you guys and girls getting together for doing something constructive?? may be helping the less fortunate?? How happy your mom would feel to have such a daughter like you?? Think over it.. Lets all work toward Mr.Kalam's dream.. Good luck! hope you'll quit drinking asap! take care.
• United States
9 Nov 09
how is hanging out bad all it does is let you social with people. who cares if your mot allways doing something it dosent matter. hanging out is all so a form of relaxation! also who cares what they think tell them how you feel if there your friends they will understand.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 09
Being a mother myslef.. I understand your mother's worries.. it is scary to see your daughter grow up On the other hand..being 21.. I understand the need to feel you have your own freedom and can make choices on your own. If i was you I would speak with your mom on this. really be open and honest and explain our feelings.
1 person likes this
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
8 Nov 09
You just turned 18 I'm assuming and you're trying to assert your independence. You know, you're lucky that your parents care about you. They're telling you off because they are concerned. Going out and drinking can get you into trouble sometimes. There is a risk in that, especially if you are female. As long as you live with your parents in the same house, you are under their rules, even if you are 18. Should they be telling you what to do? Well, parents will always be parents no matter how old you are. It just depends on whether you'll listen. As you get older, you'll understand.
1 person likes this
@syndrix (475)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 09
In my opinion, hanging out with friends at night has always good and bad interpretation not only to parents but also to the whole community as well and these is regardless with any age whether your are teens, 20s or 30s. However, this is also depends to every individuals beliefs, for example a religious family,conservative or the liberated people. Apart from that those who are leaving in a big cities like western countries and europe hanging out at night doesn't really matters, but for those from asian countries some are very strict when it comes to children especially to their daughters. Philippines and Malaysia for example a muslim family are very strict to their children especially among their daughters and also very much conservative this is because of their culture and beliefs. Unlike parents who are christians they are not very much conservative and not too strict especially if they are living in some big cities. In contrast, though they parents are christian and living in some big cities I believe that they still follow their traditions and one of these is being strict to their daughter especially,not only that due to crime rate and rape cases happen particularly in the cities it is their right as a parents to be strict and track the activities of their children.
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Yes your right it's a matter of their beliefs. But my mom is not that strict at all. Because she still allowed me to go out at night and once i got home, she explained everything. that's the worst. lol My friends here is some foreigners from France and Belgium and they really prefer to go out at night. Which is okay with me. Im used to it then.
@syndrix (475)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 09
Really! friends from Belgium and France how you meet these people from internet and i thought it was your schoolmate from your old school. So no wonder your parents are not allowing you to hang out at night. I believe they are your parents so they know what is good and bad for you. With regards to beliefs and traditions I know some parents are like that and as a child we have to respect out parent. Enjoy your semestral break hope you have a wonderful time enjoying with your friends. Happy MyLotting.
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
They are here, and they are studying here. Thank you for your advice.
@kush20006 (515)
• India
8 Nov 09
i want to tell you one thing hanging out with friends is not abad habit bad habit would be if you do this on regular basis and also i thing you must consider that you shuld be only with those friends who look forward to be good and who do this very often it is a advice my one friend lost his life coz of this so please be aware of some naughty elements which tend to take benefit out of you please serve your own cause
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
YEs i know that. But My friends are all cool and i trust them. But thank you for your advice ill think that always. =)
• India
8 Nov 09
you think so but it is not always as at this point of time they are good but in future you never now
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Well, I understand what she means, I have friends that also drink and smoke. But they don't persuade me to do it, now I think I've only drunk about 4 times this year. We only drink and ask each other out because we wanted to have a good time, they're my high school friends, and not everyone needed to drink, we just want if for bonding moments. LOL
@jayzelle (76)
9 Nov 09
At your age you can already hang out at night but be sure you should know your limitations since you are a girl.
@voldrox (7202)
• India
9 Nov 09
hi ayebelle, well this is a topic where ones who do that will support you saying they are also in the same situation while some will try to imply it is bad by scaring you with some stories which are actually true and others will say it is up to you... don't get me wrong my friend but you should not be asking this question, you don't like to listen to your parents cause you are not able to understand it is really a bad thing to hang out and have drinks, when you grow older you will come to realize about this, i guess you are not trying to see things from their point of view, well i guess you know how society looks upon such things, doing this will create a bad impression on the society as well, well for now you might even think what does it matter what others think about you but it does, this is not right, your mom is doing the right thing, she cares and you should try to listen to her.. you just turned 18 doesn't mean you get the license immediately for something like this, you are still like a 14 year old with your thinking, probably when you turn 28 you will realize the importance, so please don't do this, having good friends is also one of the most important things, some even force you to drink, good ones however keep away from it and will also not let you, getting drunk isn't cool . . . don't do it now...
• United States
9 Nov 09
yer... sam thing issue am facing with at home... i guess, they've the right to do that but when it is too much it become complicated.
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
well, if you are still living with your parents and you still depend on them for your basic needs then I don't think you can do whatever you want... You still have to follow their rules. And believe me, they just want the best for you.. and drinking is okay, as long as you are sure that you know who you are with, and you are safe with them... When you get a job, and you're independent, I think that's the only time you can say that you can do what you want... And reaching the age of 18 is doesn't really have any bearing on that.
@xiaotong (33)
• China
9 Nov 09
anyway, take care of yourself and be sure not to harm yourself. there are always strange and magical things anytime anywhere. you can't expierence them all. so be careful and do value others opinions.
• China
9 Nov 09
Yes, absolutely. You don't do what you want, you do what is right. Hanging out at night is really a bad idea even though you are a 18-year-old girl. And apparently your mom and you are seeing this situation from different perspectives. Hope you consider about it, and then take the action
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
9 Nov 09
well, i can understand your mum's concern as well why she keep on telling you what to do... it is because 18 is a very risky age and to be honest with you, you are not emotionally matured yet... and 18 is the age where the teenagers like to rebel... the more your parents tell you to do something, the more you don't want to do it... it happen to me as well in the past but now i understand why my parents are doing that to me... it is simply for my own good and i am eternally grateful to them now... so please try to accomodate their advices as well even though you don't like it... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@janebeth (2033)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
for me it's really not a good doing, i am already 23 but i have never been in situations like that.. i never experienced hanging out with friends specially during night time.. i found it very dangerous when you are outside specially you are a girl, and drinking with friends.. we could not really know the exact things to be done, and to think that 18 is still very young.. just follow the advices of your mother, it's for your own good.. it's just mean that they love you so much, they are just protecting you from harm..
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Mom's can be very protective of their children no matter what their age. What she sees is a daughter that goes out and gets drunk. This bring up thoughts in her mind that perhaps if you get too drunk that the guys can talk you into something you should not be doing. You are at the age where what you decide about what you do as an adult is so critical. If you do not worry about that and assume it will take care of itself you put off one of the most important things you can ever do for yourself. While you may think this will never happen, if you were to get pregnant, something boys do not have to worry about, it will change your whole life. The rest of your life will be so much less than it could be. This, more than anything else, is what she is worried about. Hanging out with friends can be fun and is fine as long as you know what you are doing and how what you are doing will impact what comes tomorrow. It will be hard for you to believe but in just a few years you will look back and say wow mom I see what you were so worried about. My daughter, at age 22, after marriage and one child told her mother that she had no idea how she ever put up with her during her teen years. She finally could see what she could not back then. Be thankful that you have a mother that truly cares about you. You are blessed far more than you know.
@buping (954)
• China
9 Nov 09
hi ayebelle, do not be so angry about your mom. what she does is good for you. i live in china, when i was 18 years old, my mom was strcit to me at that time, and i hated her being so severe to me, and i never went to a bar to drinking. she called me so many times on one day when i was out. i was so annoyed, but i can understand her now. she is the one who loves me most in this world, also my dad/.
@yaashmin (42)
• India
9 Nov 09
Hi Iam now 20. Ya i too want to do what my mind says and my parents doesnt like that what can we do? WE have to obey to our parents bcoz they made us.. Only for few days. Just control yourself. If you want to drink just have it a small and without knowning ur parents otherwise control urself thats it. This is what Iam doing Thanm you.. Have a nice day... Regards, yaashmin
@rickiely (257)
• Australia
9 Nov 09
Hello ayebelle, a friend of mine just finished school and has been going out much more lately after finishing his final exams. Perhaps it's his way of celebrating his finished school years. His parents don't like it either and he has also been going out late at night. I feel the same way with my friend, we should have the freedom though i also agree with his parents, he shouldn't get too out of control.
• China
9 Nov 09
I can see that you are acting on you own will.Your family's advice is helpful to you,your blindly resistance is folly.You will find it the correct in another 10 years.