Loyal or Faithful?

Philippines
November 9, 2009 5:57am CST
For someone who is in a relationship,would you settle with a partner who is always there for you whenever you need him/her. Someone who is ready to cheer you up when you are down,someone you can always lean on, and someone who will give his/her attention whenever you need one. In short, someone who is loyal,only, he/she is having an affair? Or would you settle for someone who you can't always count on to be with you even if you need him/her badly.Someone who wouldn't hesitate to prioritize other things above you. Someone you can't expect to give you his/her undivided attention.Unloyal but he/she is faithfully yours? It is better if you can have both loyalty and faithfulness from your partner but what if, he/she can only offer one between the two? Which partner would you take chances with?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
9 Nov 09
Hi eureka! It is a difficult choice to make. Ideally, I would expect both loyalty and faithfulness from my partner. To my mind both the traits in a particular partner cannot run concurrently i.e. s/he is very caring, but s/he has an affair with someone else, other than his/her life partner. If a partner is loyal to you, s/he cannot be loyal to someone else, because you are his/her life partner. Hypothetically, if I have to choose between the two choices, I would go for the first one, because in that case, my partner would 'care' for me and I can always lean on her shoulder. However, in the second case, if she does not care about me but on the surface is loyal to me, that would not serve any purpose. In the first case, I would probe my partner and would like to know what led her to get into an affair with a third person and what are my shortcomings and how I can improve those. I would see what went wrong from my side. Have a great evening!
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
Deepak, I have known a very loyal person to me and I couldn't believe he was cheating on me all the while. Meanwhile, It is not difficult to be both loyal and faithful to the one I love, however,under circumstances, I can be loyal and devoted but not truly faithful at the same time.:-) We dreamed of an ideal partner but reality bites.:-) Have a wonderful day,my dear.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
10 Nov 09
Hi Eureka! Oh! It looks the fellow (who cheated you) was too smart to be caught.. I agree that it may not be difficult to be both loyal and faithful at the same time, however, this could go on till the concerned fellow is caught and to my mind it is difficult to supress and cover up such affairs for a longer periods. The concerned fellow will surely be caught one day. And if one is caught cheating, his/her repuation will nose-dive to the south, for ever, is not it? :-) Have a wonderful day to you too! Deepak
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
He wasn't smart enough not to be caught. :-) Well, the truth will always comes out no matter how you hide it. He cheated not because he loves her but because she can give him what he wants that I won't let him have it from me.LOL .Lame, but that's how men are, right, my dear?;-)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Hi eurekafemme, I agree with what learn2earn wrote in response to you. For me, loyalty and faithfulness do co-exist together not apart. But going with your discussion, I would take neither, for I have to have all the wonderful qualities you described and that partner would have to be faithful. I would rather be alone than suffer all the inattention to just be with one person who is faithful so my choice is neither. But like I wrote early, faithfulness and loyalty do not exist without the other in my mind for partners.
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Sure thing, Linamachina. When I was younger, that was what I also believed. However, I learned that things like this isn't always true for everybody...You'd rather be alone than suffer... Very true, that's why there are so many broken marriages...
• India
10 Nov 09
faithful is very important
@LisaGuo (242)
• China
10 Nov 09
To me to be loyal AND faithful are very important.When I'm in a relation I must be both loyal and faithful to the other one,sure I request he'll do the same for me.I'll never forgive the people who betrayed me.Just thinking about it,I'll go crazy.
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
10 Nov 09
i don't think there is any different in the meaning of these two words... to me, being loyal = faithful and vice versa... i didn't see any difference at all... so i am sorry if i don't really understand what you are trying to say... or may be my english language is not good enough... i am very fortunate to have a loyal and faithful husband who never cheated on me and look at any other woman except me... take care and have a nice day...
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
I believe that a person can't be faithful without being loyal but a person can be loyal without being faithful. A spouse can be willing to stay with you for life but has flings and affairs on the side. Loyal but not faithful. As what my friend told me, when he is trying to defend that loyalty is more important, at least the husband goes home to the wife at night and not to the person he is having an affair with. I don't buy that, I don't want a "loyal only" husband. I will not be able to have peace of mind thinking where he is or whether he is with someone else. On the other side, I believe that a faithful husband is definitely a loyal one. Loyalty is not about the attention or dependability of the person.
@oasis_9 (832)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
I've read this in one of my favorite quotes. If i have to choose just one between the two I'd prefer to have a faithful partner than somebody who's loyal but you can't trust whenever your not around.
@Ithink (10490)
• United States
10 Nov 09
I honestly think they go together, you cant have a loyal partner if he isnt faithful. I wouldnt be able to choose either. I would rather be alone if my husband was like that. Thankfully he isnt, he is both!
@allknowing (84998)
• India
10 Nov 09
Married couple - This couple appears to be happy not expecting anything from each other but they just give, give, give!!
I have been there already and would like to tell you that one needs to take chances with life. As one goes along life's journey there are so many situations that can change a person's attitude, perceptions, priorities, etc. What you know of a person before marriage will be totally different from what that person will project after the 'I do' is said. One starts a new life leaving behind all one knows about each other as the situations would have changed drastically. For happiness one needs to expect nothing but just give, give, give. If both believe in this norm that would be the happiest couple on earth. So take a risk and keep God in your life.
• United States
10 Nov 09
I believe that loyalty and faithfulness is the same thing. You can't have one with out the other. But I guess it depends on the situation with the two different people. Your heart chooses who you want to be with so if you love the first person then you should go with them but if you love the second person then you should stick it out and see where things lead.
• United States
10 Nov 09
I would want both. loyality, faithfullness, someone who can be dependable, count on, there for me, gives me his attention, and listens when I need some help solving a problem. Plus I would do the same for him. Give him the same things he gives me, make it equal so that no one in the relationship feels unappreciated.
• India
9 Nov 09
i don't find your situation to be hypothetical as i had seen one of my friends do it. i had always found it to be strange but its true. in fact those guys happened to be my close friends within the circle. one of them wouldn't have enough to profess his love for my best friend but at the same time had his long time girl friend too.whom he told was very special to him. he was caring to both of them and happened to be there for them ( i always wondered how he managed that but he did satisfy both of them emotionally and both were aware of eachother's presence in his life).it was kind of weird for he said he truely loved both of them and i couldn't make head and tail out of it as i do not know how a person can be truly in love with two people simultaneously.so i think i would go for first one seeing that he had managed to keep both happy while i think inattention or rejection by one's lover however faithful he might be is more of a torture..
• India
9 Nov 09
This is gamble.Being loyal and faithful are 2 sides of a coin which make meaning when they are together. So being loyal to someone means being faithful. Its just being together and to have feeling that if am drowning, there is someone out there to hold my hand and make me safe. Loyalty and faithfulness are essential part of any relation, being that of a family, community, state , country etc. Being loyal and faithful is the art of living a happy and lively life.