Do you see him/her as someone you could grow old with?

@laydee (12798)
Philippines
November 9, 2009 8:11am CST
I was asked by a friend whom I haven't seen for quite a while on the status of my relationship with my special someone. She asked me if I could see him as someone I could grow old with. I was stopped at an instant because a few years back, I could definitely say that guy was the one but after a huge heartbreak on my part, I began to develop a trauma for proclaiming such. For those who have been married for quite a while, how was that guy/girl you are married to different from the rest of the people you've been with? How did you proclaim for sure that he/she is the 'one'? or doesn't anyone really know? I do see my guy as someone I'd like to spend my life with, but I am just afraid that I'd make the mistake of feeling this way once again. For now, I am content on me and him but trying to dismiss the questions of me and him being together forever. Is this a normal reaction? So, do you see him/her as someone you could grow old with? or are you still looking for that special spark?
2 people like this
13 responses
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
10 Nov 09
Me and my wife have been married for over a month now and it was the happiest day of my life and I am so glad that she is now my wife,because I love her with all of my heart and soul and I know she loves me too,and I know that some people have different ideas of the person they would want to grow old with,and my wife is definitely the person I want to grow old with,and I want to be with her for the rest of my life,and she is the person I want to sit in a rocking chair next too when we are ninety years old,and rock as the sun goes down,and I know we will be together forever,and after we pass we will be together in God's eternal kingdom of Heaven.
• India
10 Nov 09
I would like to grow old and die together with my wife.After sixteen years of marriage we do not need to communicate to each other about what we want. We just think similarly. Frankly speaking we have so gotten used to each other that we cannot imagine living in a world where the other is not there.I know this sounds melodramatic but it is true. It is just a question of being on the perfectly same wavelength and does not happen to everyone I admit.
@babyania (161)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
yay! we exactly have the same condition. i used to imagine my future with my boyfriend before, i loved the image that he's the first person i'll see in the morning and the very last at night. but after all the heartbreaks, i am now unsure whether i would be happy if we'll end up being together. sometimes i feel that he's not the one who deserves me. but even though i think things like that, i can't end up our relationship, i know it would be soo painful for me if i will.
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
My husband is the only man that i'm going to be with for the rest of my life, he's the man that i am with until we grow old because he's the only love of my life.
@buping (952)
• China
10 Nov 09
hi ladyee, i do not have this kind of question puzzled me. my boyfriend is good to me till now, and he is my husband to be. but nobody can predict his future, i do not know wheather he is also good to me when we get married. and so many examples showed that men would change with his money amounted. maybe he would change his heart to another young girl in his 40s, what i should do is taking good care of myself.
• India
10 Nov 09
ofcourse i see my person as someone with whom i can grow old
@milfea (519)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
hey laydee. :). I used to see someone who i can grow old with but i guess he doesn't. So i just walked away before the cut gets very deep and too painful to bear, and I survived! :D. Right now, I can just see myself growing old with someone, but that someone hasn't surfaced yet.
@doormouse (4599)
9 Nov 09
that's how i know if i love someone,if i see myself growing old with them,and i can with my current boyfriend who i've been with for 5 years
@lealuvy2j (1986)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
I do see my boyfriend as someone I can grow old with and be with for the rest of my life. We have been together for two years and I really think he is the one. I know a lot of people think that it is too early to tell but I really don't care. I do understand though that feeling of questioning yourself if what if he isn't and how can I be so sure. I think the solution to that is just accept what your feeling right now whether you really feel if he is the one or not and whatever happens even if you will not end up together, at least you know that you have been honest to yourself about your feelings.
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Hi laydee I do see myself with my husband for many years to come. We have been together for over 8 years and married almost 7 years. He is a good man and we have great times together. Im on my second marriage and he is on his third marriage, so we both have been around that block. Have a great day and keep smiling.
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Nov 09
Hi Laydee, Nice to hear from you again! I am settled now with my husband as someone that i want to grow old with. We've gone through a lot and we're still together loving and caring for each other til the end of time!
@elrener (112)
• Sweden
9 Nov 09
Nopp i dont see me being with anyone for the next 20 yrs :D
@evadhar (15)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I don't think you grow old with someone as much as you grow comfortable with someone. It takes time to really get to know someone. Sometimes we confuse a particular attraction as a life-long desireable trait and then we discover that trait is not all that great after all. I think that over time we discover the traits or characteristics that we find valuable and significant to us. We then find comfort in those qualities and we seek significant others who have those qualities. When we find someone who possesses those qualities, we become comfortable being around and with that person. And that is the basis for a lasting relationship.