What would you do if your friend is inlove with a playboy?

Philippines
November 17, 2009 6:33pm CST
I had a friend once, she had a boyfriend which I don't like because he was rumored to be a playboy (and I proved it). I adviced her to leave the guy but she didn't listen, and we had an awful fight which ended our friendship. Now another friend of mine is in the same situation, and i don't wanna end like it was before. What could I do this time?
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7 responses
@Godmother (476)
• Indonesia
18 Nov 09
being a friend doesn't mean you can control her life. You can warn her, but you cannot force her to do anything. It's too bad, but her life is her decision. What you can do for her as a friend, is just stand by until the relationship breaks off, and be there for her when she comes running to you for comfort. Maybe then, she will listen to you in the future. Let life itself teach her what's good and what's bad, if she doesn't want to listen to good advice.
• Philippines
19 Nov 09
what if the relationship takes time to break off? i mean i don't want her to suffer for so long.
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• Indonesia
19 Nov 09
I see that you are very caring and maybe too overprotective for your friend. If she's in love with him, she won't feel she's suffering jet. But after a while, if the guy doesn't change his attitude, then yes, she may begin to suffer. Only then, maybe you can ask her if it's not better to find someone who really loves her. But until then, just be a good listener.
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@yan_blue8 (1437)
• Philippines
18 Nov 09
As a friend, you always make sure that your friend should not hurt at all times, especially when it comes to love. Love is blind and remember we cannot thought such person who and which she is going to love. Being a friend, what you can do is listen to her problems and issues and advice her on everything that she can do. Its really up to her if she will accept that or not. Its her life anyway, so she has all the control of it :) "...i don't wanna end like it was before." As for me, I will have to deal with it. She is inlove with that playboy, so be it! Respect her decisions. Later on,no matter what happened, she will realize she will end up being with you, her true friend, that never give up on her and is still there no matter what!
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• Philippines
19 Nov 09
i think you're right. but, will i just stand here and wait until that guy has full ruined her life? no, i think i won't. i'll talk to the guy and tell him that if he breaks her heart i'm gonna... i'm gonna... well, i don't know. i'm not good at doing evil things to other people. :)
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• United States
18 Nov 09
I've been in a similar situation except I was the one going after the so-called playboy. For me it was a question of do I tell my friends and endure the potential lectures of concern about his unworthiness or just go after him on my own time and leave them out of it as much as possible. I ended up going after the guy, didn't really ever get anywhere but I didn't tell my friends. It was just easier that way.
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@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
18 Nov 09
This is a bit of a sticky situation. Well, as a concerned friend, you can caution her or warn her but you can only do so much because in the end, your friend is the one who is going to make choices for herself. A suggestion wouldn't hurt. As for friends who get angry with that stuff, I wouldn't be friends with people who are narrow minded.
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• Philippines
19 Nov 09
you're right. being friends with narrow minded people really sucks. but you know, although she's narrow minded, I love her and wanna be friends with her forever. thanks for your response!
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• Australia
18 Nov 09
hi friend,love is blind,so its all once own decision,warn your friends,but don't force them,since no one like forcing some thing to do.for this reason don't break your friendship.
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18 Nov 09
i would actually open up to her that she is the kind of girl who's worth loving for.. just speak to her honestly and it's up to her if she'll gonna take your advice..But always maintain your friendship..Someday, she will realize that you're right...
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• Philippines
19 Nov 09
you're right. if she's gonna do what i suggest, then it's good. but if she doesn't then it's fine. i wanna be friends with her always and i don't wanna argue anymore. thanks :)
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@hsofyan (3446)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
18 Nov 09
Tell him the issues. Accepted / not, it's not your problem. One's fate is determined by one's own.