How Do You Find A Loved One Online?
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
November 18, 2009 12:07am CST
I know there are many ways to find a loved one online but I only know a few of those ways and am curious if anyone knows of any other ways that doesn't cost anything. The reason I ask is because many years ago, my grandmother had adopted a girl and when she grew up, she got married and had three beautiful children, a girl and two boys. It's a rather long and sordid story so I won't get into the details other than to say, she was killed. Her husband was beside himself and was duped with social services back then because he couldn't read and trusted what they had told him. They told him that they'd put the kids in a temporary foster home and when my uncle signed the paper, it was for permanent foster home. Luckily we found out that all three were adopted together which is more than any of us could ask for. My mom even found their address but didn't want to bother them out of fear it would upset the kids so she waited till they grew up before considering looking for them. Mom had even talked to the adoptive parents and asked for a picture of the children every now and then so she could see how they were doing and they promised that they would but they didn't keep their promises. Years after that, when the kids were grown, she called again and asked for the oldest to call her for she'd love to get in touch with her again. Again, promises made, promises broken. On a fluke moment, I decided to see if I could find them myself online and I was shocked silly at what I found!! I'm pretty sure I found the oldest child, the girl and she's now 39 years old and had won the lottery of $100,000. in March of this year!! She had planned on using the money to buy a house - GOOD FOR HER!! She looks so much like her mom and her dad that it's mind blowing! Now if it is her, we don't want her to think we've looked for her for her money. HECK NO!! But to be able to talk to her, hug her and let her know she wasn't given up on purpose and that she was well loved all these years and so on and on. I mean, we're happy she won, if it's her, but we don't want to get in contact for her money but it probably would seem so after all these years of no contact and all of the sudden, we come out of the woodwork.
I'm wondering what to do because all I have right now is her address, no phone number. I think I found her on facebook too but I'm not sure it's her but it sure does look like her. I'd love to call her if only I could find her phone number but how?
So if you were looking for a loved one, how would you do it?
4 people like this
11 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 09
You say you have found her on face book well you think you have then why not contact her on there you do not have to say anything about the money as that has nothing to do with it
I would contact her that way and just explain and ask her if she is the Person as that is what I would do, saying that I would leave a little while before I ask as I would see first and find out more what she is like and then that way you will know whether she will be alright with it or not
She might not even know anything about your Mum
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
18 Nov 09
That is an interesting story Cats. I appreciate why you don’t feel comfortable making contact because she has just won a large sum of money and I do agree that it would look a bit opportunistic even though that is not your intention at all. It might a good idea to give it some time before making contact.
I have never tried to locate anyone online aside from searching Facebook, I have noticed that there are specific sites that do people searches and a couple are free both here and in the US.
I hope you eventually get in touch...
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
18 Nov 09
I guess you won't know the outcome until you make contact. I understand your feelings of urgency in regards to your mum; it sounds as though this information has made her really happy and it is definitely worth pursuing. Good luck with it!
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
18 Nov 09
Other then what you have done, I don't have any ideas. Good luck though with getting in touch with them. We have some smart people here on mylot, I am sure someone will have a great idea for you.
I do want to tell you a happy story similar to this. My mom has a brother, she grew up without ever knowing him, she did know she had a brother though. He grew up without ever knowing he had 3 sisters. His mom and dad had split up when he was young, his mom moved away. his dad eventually married again, his new family included my mom. I have a cousin who was doing our family tree, she put out a search for if anyone knows anything about a certain person. He somehow responded, long story short. he is my moms brother, he is in is 80's and never knew about his other family. My mom has been out to see him and his family 4 times. I went out with her once. my uncle and I email each other everyday. He lives out in California and we live in Ohio. I believe it was ment to be, for my mom and him to meet. He lost his son and my mom lost her sister in the same month, then a couple of months later, they found out about each other. They lost someone but gained someone. I tease him that for a long lost Uncle at least he could have been rich, hehe, no such luck.
1 person likes this
@warcraft28 (16)
• China
19 Nov 09
Really I hope you will reunion. As you said I don't have a good idea but maybe someone on mylot could offer you a great idea. Bless you!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Hi warcraft! Welcome to mylot!! 
And thank you for your kind words! I hope it happens that I find her and her two brothers for my whole family would love to see them again. We have a lot to catch up on and hopefully soon we'll be able to do just that.
And thank you for your kind words! I hope it happens that I find her and her two brothers for my whole family would love to see them again. We have a lot to catch up on and hopefully soon we'll be able to do just that. @soybeans612 (122)
• United States
19 Nov 09
If you think you found her on facebook, send her a message and find out. Whitepages.com is another site; you can type in her name and if there's a match it'll list her address and phone number, unless she has it private. But nowadays it's easy to find people for free on the internet through sites like facebook or myspace. I think if you know her full name, try those sites. And if you recognize her photo then send a message and see if it's her. If it's not, just try to think of people who might have known her and search for them on facebook or myspace to see if maybe they're still in contact with her.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Nov 09
I thought it could be her but after a second look, it's not her but I did find someone with the same name on myspace so I sent her a message hoping she'll respond to me but we'll have to see. I've tried whitepages too and no avail. I won't give up until I get word from her that she wants nothing to do with us then I'll leave her be.
@toCallMyOwn (35)
• Philippines
18 Nov 09
maybe i'd go chatting first and then the rest will follow
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
18 Nov 09
If I can find her, I will chat with her but the finding her phone number or her user name online would be a big help.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
18 Nov 09
I would use the Red Cross. I think their services are free for genuine situations of missing loved ones.
I have heard of some remarkable stories of people missing for many years after ww2, where the Red Cross have found family members.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
18 Nov 09
Hi Jenny. I didn't know Red Cross did such things. That is really interesting! Gosh, they do so many things that it makes me wonder how in this world do they handle it all! lol Thanks so much for that tid bit!
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
18 Nov 09
I use white pages dot com a lot when I'm looking for someone or when I want to know who a phone number belongs to. I've done quite a few searches for friends in the past. Go to white pages dot com and put in her address, it will give you her phone number unless she's disconnected it because of winning the lottery.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
18 Nov 09
I've tried that too and so far nothing but her address. I'm going to eventually try sending her a letter but first, I'm going to try the library idea that mentalward had suggested above you. That may work. It's worth a try anyways. I hope it works out for no doubt it'll be a shocker for her and a happy reunion for us and hopefully for her too.
@danoluma (817)
• Kenya
18 Nov 09
It sounds weird and difficult but I believe everything is possible, if you are really determined. If you think you saw her on facebbok then take the initiative contact her to find out if she is the one, or just get to her through the address you have then you'll have the chance get your lost love.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
18 Nov 09
I think that's what I'm going to do, contact her through facebook and hope she'll respond. All I can do is try, right? Hopefully it's her and she'll welcome us with open arms. I'm praying that's what will happen but time will tell. Thanks!
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
18 Nov 09
That is a very sad story for sure. I would be afraid that she would just think it was the money for the reason to contact her now. I really don't know how to look someone up like that.I know there is ways to do it. Hope someone else can help u to find her. good luck.
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
18 Nov 09
Online? I have no idea. But, libraries have "reverse phone books", meaning that, if you have anything at all, the address, the phone number, even just the name, and they are listed in the regular phone book, you can find them in that book, even with just an address. If she's listed, you can find her phone number in the book at the library. They list by name, by phone number and by address so, no matter which one you have, you can find the rest. But, they do have to be listed in the regular phone book to show up in the one at the library. It's worth a shot!
I doubt she'll think you're looking her up now because of her money. Just don't tell her that you know about it. Maybe you could send her a Christmas card with a little note saying that you hope you have the right person and that you found the address so you thought you'd take a shot and hope it's her. Let her know how you feel and that you're so happy to have found her, if it is her, and that you'd love to hear back from her if she's interested. That puts the ball in her court and you'll know how she feels about it. Be sure to put your phone number and email address in the card, too, so she can communicate any way she chooses, if she wants to.
