Failure to launch
November 19, 2009 4:13pm CST
I have a 19 year old daughter named Allie. Allie does nothing on a daily basis. She does not work or go to school. Allie parties every night and hang's with friends all day (at my house)even tho I have asked her not to. Then camps out on my couch at night, that is when she makes it home. My issue is that while my daughter is in this dormant period of her young life I still have 2 children at home that are a witness to all the bull Allie is pulling on me. She drinks while she is out and I am pretty sure drugs are not out of the question. She steals from my purse and Oh my, How could I forget, she brought home a lovely pit bull dog that is not potty trained. This dog does its business anywhere it likes. I bought the dog a crate however, when she gets home she just lets the dog out. So, my dogs are crated all day while her dog relieves himself around the house. I allow her to stay simply because she has no where to go. At least I know she is safe here. I just get so angry and disappointed with her. I have told her to leave when I have had enough. The thing is she always comes back.
• United States
19 Nov 09
This discussion struck a cord with me because I'm 19 and living at home with my dad, too, and so it's a similar situation with me..Although I have 2 part-time jobs and I'm going to school full-time, and rarely do I party (probably once every couple of weeks, not going to lie). I think that 19 is plenty old enough to start taking responsibility for herself. I pay my own car insurance, cell phone bill, AND pay my dad a little rent money to help him out. She could easily do the same, all she would have to do is pull herself together and get a job. I think you need to exercise the concept of "tough love" on her. Give her a choice: Get a job, clean herself up - or look for a new place to live. She's lucky to have a mom like you who lets her live there when she's 19 - a lot of my friends were kicked out of their houses just as soon as they turned 18 - when they turned into "adults". I think you should remind her that now that she's an adult, and not in high school anymore - needs to get her act together, because that's unacceptable. And it's also unacceptable for her to be such a bad role model to her younger siblings. I think you should, again, offer her a choice: get her act together OR find a new place to live. I think that she's been babied long enough and should probably find out what it's like in the "real world". But good luck with whatever you decide to do. I know it's a hard position to be in, being that it's your daughter in question.