How far will you go to help?
November 20, 2009 9:14am CST
Allow me to vent my pent-up emotions right now for I need to unload it. My subject, how far will you go to help? How far are you really willing to help? My family is currently helping the medical needs of my uncle who has TB and kidney problems. At present, we are subsidizing the expenses. Since the treatment will run for 6 months, it could be a little heavy (financially) on our part and we might not be able to afford it anymore. We thought that it was best to seek the help of the other relatives and if they could share whatever they can afford to. I sent a text message to all concerned and asked if they could give a little to help in the medical expenses. I have enumerated the estimated monthly expenses and the current total expenses. One, who was not earning that much responded well. Another one, earning quite well responded otherwise. The latter responded that he was aware of our uncle's sickness and even prior to that he was already helping the family. We are helping but we are not counting how much we have given, in his exact words. He said that we need not tell him how much one has shared. He further states that we need not tell him the accounting of all of the expenses for he knew how it goes when one member gets sick. Honestly, I was taken aback when I read this text. This response came from a person we least expected. What we want here, is for everyone to share whatever they could to prolong the life of a sick person. We are not here to extort money from him. I just felt that informing them of the detailed expenses was just the proper thing to do. My family is doing this because we want to make sure that my uncle finishes the 6-month TB treatment because if not, it will just go back. But it seems people took it wrongly. To make the matters worse, the son of my uncle said earlier that when his father got sick before, a relative help but nothing of this sort came up. Now that we are helping, we are sending text messages to everybody asking for more help and in effect, complaining. Was I wrong in asking for their help? Was I wrong that I mentioned the current total medical expenses? Please enlighten me and I will accept and appreciate it if you tell me that I was wrong. Thank you.
2 people like this
• Garden Grove, California
21 Nov 09
but try to temper it so that those who really just do not have as much money to spend as some of the others are not put in a spot, say they contribute a 1/4th as opposed to someone who can only contribute 1/6 or 1/7 then let someone with more money donate 1/3 the cost just so everyone can contribute. hope this is clear.
20 Nov 09
You are not wrong. You are seeking help for your ailing uncle. You are financially helping and seeking help of others for your uncle's treatment which is so expensive. You are doing a great job. Money can't makes a person broad. To help others need broad mind. So those have sympathy from them you are getting response.They may not rich people. I pray early recovery of your uncle.
• Garden Grove, California
21 Nov 09
hi jules well you meant well and as I do not know really the financial situation of all your relatives I can only guess.but evidently some got touchy over the financial statement.but again you did nothing wrong. You knew you could not handle all the expense by yourselves so you went to family as indeed where else could you go. but maybe you should suggest that eachone could give what they could afford as maybe some of your kin felt they were being put on the spot financially if they really did not have as much funds as say some of the other relatives. so maybe it would be fair to ask for so much according to what each relative can really afford. I mean say you have six p;eople and all six of them have varying incomes, so maybe two of them could send a lot more than the other four or however it works out, but each member should contribute until the entire amount is put forth. hope this makes sense.I know how touchy families can be when it comes to something like this. Empathize
21 Nov 09
Thanks Hatley for your wonderful comment. What we really do is just to let other relatives share whatever they can give. Actually we are not obliging them. We just have to accept that other people will think differently of our approach on this matter. The sad part is as of today, the immediate members of my uncle's family said that they will not anymore accept any medicines that we are going to give them. Sometimes, it is those people that you help are the one's who could not appreciate the good things that your are doing.