I got pregnant before married and now i have to hide.

Indonesia
November 24, 2009 1:02pm CST
I am 6 months preagnant and i'm not married yet. My boyfriends are willing to take responsible, but my family don't agree with our decision. So now i'm on hide.. Only my family know about my conditions and i have to stay away from my boyfriend. My mother doesn't want me to get married because she is afraid that her family and friends realize my condition. I am catholic and live in south east asia... so you can understand how taboo this is. ight now all i wants is for my future son/daughter to have a normal and happy life, that's why i follow what my mother ask me....even it hurt... Last thing i want is seperated with my future child by the time he/she born... How will you response if you're in my condition?
3 responses
sleepylittlerose
@sleepylittlerose (1648)
• United States
24 Nov 09
You are in quite the predicament. If you were in the US people would not think twice as to see an unwed mother is nothing here. What you must really consider and have your mother think about also is the fact of how will you hide this baby once it is born. I know that there are some cultural differences between us but I certainly think that it would be easier if you plan on keeping the child and wish to marry your boyfriend that you do it now. But make sure that if you do marry the father of the child that you are doing it for love not just becuase he fathered a child. Have a private wedding ceremony performed by a government official. I know that your religion would make it so that you would have a large ceremony but that probably is not in your best interest at this time.
valentbaby
@valentbaby (21)
• Indonesia
25 Nov 09
my mother once plan to give my baby away when she/he is born.. But i tried to convince her, that i'm capable to take care my child I'm 25 years old now, a university graduate, i used to have a great job before i have to leave because i'm preagnant ( my former office didn't know i'm pregnant, i told them i have healthy issue so i have to resign), and my boyfriend also has a job. So i'm sure we can take responsible... Right now, i still try the best to convince my mother. I tried to make her understand that me and my boyfriend are capable to take care of our child. I hope she will gives us permisssion to get married soon, because in Indonesia it's difficult to have a child birth certificate when you're not married.
Jensie
@Jensie (120)
• China
25 Nov 09
If you dicide to give birth to your baby, you should not think about seperating with him/her. You bring him/her to this world, you have responsibility to raise him/her.
naojquimps
@naojquimps (53)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hi valentbaby! Your situation is really complicated, you have to make wise decisions on it. Since, you take the risks in getting pregnant so be responsible enough to take the consequences. Just think of the baby, what will be he/her future? You are already old enough to make decisions, so follow on what you think is the best. Your boyfriend is willing to take the responsibility. So, why hide it? Having a complete family means living a normal and happy life. And you said that, this is the kind of life that you want in the future. Better think about this...