Oh...i'm losing my baby...is he really a grown up?

@jaiho2009 (38994)
Philippines
November 24, 2009 11:15pm CST
Hello friends and dear mylotters, Today,my youngest son tells me "mom,can i go to my school alone?...i am old enough and i can take care of myself now,don't treat me like a baby anymore" (wahhhh) Ok,ok,i know he's already 11 years and maybe not a baby anymore,yet not a teenager. He is my youngest child,and of course i love my 3 kids equally,but,he is the youngest and the baby in our family. We treated him like a baby becoz he is the youngest in the family and he loves to be treated that way. But,...what happened this morning was really new to me...he wants to be treated like a grown up. Am i losing my baby? Is he really a grown up? How about you dear friends and dear mylotters,at what age did you think you feel and act like a grown up...and you doesn't like your mom,dad,sisters,brothers to treat you like a baby anymore.??? Waiting for your responses and happy mylotting dear everyone
4 people like this
24 responses
@aerous (13465)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Well, I think your son has the point. You must be thankful because your son know about responsibility and that is to take care of himself. Kid is not always a kid because maturity comes in our life. I know as parents they always treat their children as baby because of love. But we need to accept that children will grow older and older that need some space in their life.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello aerous, I know my kid is growing to be a man,and that i need to accept the truth about it. But you can't blame me for being sad,becoz he my youngest son and the youngest in the family,and we treat him like a baby(heheh) Thanks for your response dear and have a good day always
@aerous (13465)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
Well, yes I can't blame you. Because your a mother and love your son. But kid should have free space sometimes for dissipate their right to choose what they like unless they are not doing something bad or wrong.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
aye sir,i know about your mind. only that,i still want to enjoy treating him like a baby (ahaha) but really,he is acting like a grown-up now...(sad) but,it's ok...i know this time will come
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
25 Nov 09
Hi Sis, Well, tell you honestly, I was never treated like a child even when I were a child. i am the eldest and from a very young age I was always preached to act as a "matured" person. I will always think for the rest of my life that I lost my childhood. Bodhi
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello chota bhai, I understand about it dear,being an eldest,the maturity time becomes more early compared than the younger siblings. Maybe becoz you parents wants you to become independent at an early age. And i guess,it helps you a lot as you go older. Just sad to think that you missed your childhood days...well,i can say that..."men were always be boys" Men never grown ups like women do. See,how men think that car is like a big toys for big men? Cheer up dear bhai,keep smiling
• India
25 Nov 09
Thank you my sweet didi
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
my pleasure dear brother
• India
26 Nov 09
hi.. yes a 11 yr old is a bit grown up, we must understand that he is thinking of doing things by himself and it is a good one.. it doesn't mean that he dont like you.. all he needs now is a great support from you all so that he can prepare himself to be a good self driven person in future.. believe in him that he can.. but pls watch and guide him.. you all love each other.. extreme care and love sometime make poeple uncomfortable.. all the best for his future..
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello dhanasekart, He is 11 yrs old and wants freedom. ok,he is not a baby anymore,but it is hard for me to accept about it. I know someday he will be on his own,and i hope to have him always be my baby for some more time. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
• Indonesia
26 Nov 09
Congratulation fo you jaiho, you can grown up your son well. It can saw from your son feel. He want to play his friend and not protected or treat from his mother. This is the sign of kids when he recognizes his world outside home. You can give him chance and decrease your protect.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello supriganteng, Thanks my friend. But it is a bit hard for me to accept that my baby is now a grown up and wanted to do things on his own. I know i can get through this sooner... Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@anniege (203)
• China
26 Nov 09
Hi jaiho. Don't worry.Your son has grown up,he wants to show he can do many things alone but not always with the help of his mother. What you really need do is watch him quitely and supply help if he really needs. Just let him try new things,the first time going to school alone,the first time wash his clothes himself,the first time he clean his room and the first time he can supply help to his mother. I think he will surely feel happy to be a helpful arm.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
hello anniege, Yah,i know he wants to have some space and do things on his own. But as a mother,it is a bit hard to accept that my baby is now growing up and wants to have some freedom. Well,i know i can get through to this sooner. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
let him be.. it natural he should learn by himself...and if he falls down.. now the time to be there by his side..
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello katuray, It is fine to let him do his own things as a good start for his own(being independent) He maybe too young for me,but for him,he thinks he can do everything on his own. i know i need to guide him for every undertakings,he is not yet a total grown up man, Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@junmae (1591)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hi there! Well that is funny for me, my brother is also 11 years old and he is the baby in our family because he is the youngest but he always pretends to be a big guy. I guess you are loosing your baby because he is starting to grow into a man. I understand that being a mother it is hard to accept especially if he is the youngest because we always love to have a baby or younger one in our family. I hope that you will just accept this things and guide him because this is his first step into manhood.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
hello junmae, It is hard to accept,but i need to..and i don't want him to be a mama's boy also. I want him to be an independent man and strong and firm with his decision making someday. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@rsa101 (18556)
• Quezon City, Philippines
26 Nov 09
I do understand that too in my case. My son is 7 years-old and I can sense him growing independently already. But as a parent I guess it is part of our children's development and we could not stop that anymore. I am just happy and content that he is growing to be a good boy in his age. I am hoping that as he grows he would also be mature as time goes by and be a responsible man in the future. But it is really sad that the child you reared in your arms. Almost too helpless before is slowly standing up on its own and slowly leaving our protective arms already. But that is nature and we just have to accept it.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello rsa, I know this time will come,only that,it is hard to accept that it comes so soon. I still want to enjoy treating him like a baby,thu he can do some things on his own. But,hearing words asking freedom from his own mouth is really hard to accept. I know someday he will be on his own,and will create his own decisions in life,i am happy that my kids are now grown ups and someday will have their own family too....really how time flies. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@jazel_juan (15759)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
wow i guess it always happen when they realized they are already old enough to do so. My kids are still young, 5 and 3 years old..but i could not imagine what i would do when its their turn to say that to me! hehe.. but then i could remember when i was also at that age when i would insist my mom that i could do it without her help and she was like, you are not yet old enough blahblah... i guess it is mothers nature to do so!
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello jazel, This is same situation when i was also a kid,now i know what it really feels for being a mother. i mean,realizing how we also felt bad when our moms won't let us do things we wanted to do during our childhood. Ohhh,,motherhood is really difficult and challenging as well. You will feel about it when your kids also try to be a grown ups eventhu they are still kids(small) thanks for your response dear and have a good day always
• Canada
25 Nov 09
Well, you shouldn't control everything they do. Let them develop their own opinions, and ideas. You can help them, but try not to push them too hard. If he's only 11, he doesn't have that much life's experience, so I don't think he's grown up yet :P Oh well. What will be, will be.
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov 09
Well, this is the hardest bit for us Mums when they start letting us know they are old enough to do things themselves but it happens, I cried when they started School and I cried when they left School and joined the working world the last one was the worst, my Children had grown into Adults, It is hard but we need to respect it I know one thing I would do though is make sure that he will be safe walking on his own to School I always did that with mine before I agreed, my Son always walked with a group of Friends My Daughter I carried on taking by Car before I went to work as she was to scared to walk due to bullying and other issues But yes it is hard to see that you are loosing the Baby of the Family
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello gabs, I wasn't prepared really. I had 3 kids,but,i felt sad when my youngest also wanted to have some space and freedom. How i wish to have him like a baby for few years..but i know it is impossible,for he starts acting like a grown up now. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@Pplaya123 (126)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Well if he's 11 years old already he's definitely not a baby. He is slowly maturing and soon he will go through puberty. It's a normal thing all of your children will go through. You can't treat him as a baby forever. Once he's a teenager he'll be acting a lot of things on his once. He will have his own things to take care of. The best you can do is support him your best. I sure know I'd hate to be treated like a baby still.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello Pplaya, I know i can't treat him as baby forever ,but you can never blame me since he the youngest and the only young in the family. I know i can get over this feeling,only that,i am not much prepared into this changes in him. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@Jayervin (64)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Unfortunately, that's just how it is for every pre-teen to teenager. They go through a stage that makes them want to experience new things and explore alone without their mom or dad being by their side. Just let them do their thing and always let them know you're always there for them (but not too much as to you're annoying them). They just want space, and it's normal for them go through this phase.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
Hello Jayervin, Of course i understand about it friend,my kid is getting older too and wanted to experienced life of being a teener. But,you can't blame for being sad,as he is the youngest in the family and our baby(hehehe) I can still remember him as a little baby. Now,he has grown up to be a man and wanted freedom (ohhh) Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Hi, j. No you are not losing him. You are just losing him during his childhood years. He is learning to become independent. This is a great thing, so by the time he reaches high school, he will be ready for it. He is ready to be more mature. Let him. He still loves you as his mother. I am sure that he will never forget that. As he enters this stage continue to give the the love, encouragement and support that is needed for him to grow to become a mature young man.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello friend, Yah,i need to be prepared for the next stages of my kids life. With my youngest,it really hurts me,becoz,he is the only baby in the family(ahaha..his sister and brother also treat him like a baby) Now our baby has grown up...well,i know he will always be our baby...our big baby. Thanks for your response dear and have a good day always
@Pose123 (21666)
• Canada
25 Nov 09
Hi jaiho, Letting go is never easy, especially when it's our youngest child yet cutting the apron strings is very important. Your child is eleven years old, and although he may not be a grown-up,he is ready to start doing things on his own. He probably sees his friends venturing further and further and feels that he must try his wings as well. My advice is love him and let him go and don't let him see those tears that you know you will shed. Let him go a little at a time of course, and discuss it with him each time he wants a longer leash. Let him know that you respect his opinion though you may not always agree. I know it's not easy and there will be an ache in your heart for some time to come. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello friend, It is just maybe becoz i wasn't prepared. My two older kids,they were also almost at same age when they started to go alone going to school. But,with my youngest,since,we all treat him as our baby,it was really hard to accept that he has grown also to be more independent. He doesn't want to be kissed in public anymore (wahhhh). But still he loves to be embraced and kissed when we are at home with no other people around. I really feel sad...how time flies...all my kids were now grown-ups...i am happy for them...but also sad. Well,maybe i have to be prepared with the next stages on their life. Thanks for your response and have a good day always dear
@sizzle3000 (3039)
• United States
25 Nov 09
If you think that's bad I feel like I'm losing my baby girl. I could only have one child. I had had two miscarriages and was told I wouldn't be able to have kids after that. But then she came along and it was hard as she tried to kill me while giving birth. She got her foot stuck in my rib cage and every time I pushed she kicked my heart. They had to preform an emergency c section. I went through hell to have her and she's my pride and joy. My one and only that I can have. Now she's 19 years old and getting ready to get married. I can't believe that so many years have already passed. I never thought this day would come or at least not so soon. My baby's grown up.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello friend, Oh,you really had a hard time and difficult times for having your baby,i also had 3 c section,all my kids were delivered thru c section due to my pelvis problem. And this is what i mean...the little baby we use to care and cradle...now getting big and ohh...how time flies. I am feeling sad that my kids are no longer a baby whom i can touch and hug and embrace without any restrictions. Unlike now that they are grown-ups...they feel ashamed being embraced in public or infront of other people..unlike before. But i am very happy to have them grown as healthy and good kids. Thanks for your response and have a good day always dear
@becdmd (705)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
I feel grown up when I had my first menstruation...I started to feel uncomfortable with my parents..but of course I know I was immature then... With your situation I think you just don't feel like giving up treating your youngest son "a baby", just face the fact that he's growing up and soon will have a family someday...maybe it really hurts at first but in d end... you'll see your child has a bright future ahead.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello friend, Yah,i guess i was not prepared for this moment,that,any time,he will soon be a grown up man...and that he needs to be on his own. i would surely missed my baby...but i have to face the truth and accept that,he is no longer the baby that used to stay besides me. Thanks for your response and have a good day always dear
• Malaysia
25 Nov 09
maybe he felt ashamed with her schoolmates. maybe he think he is a big boy now even though he is too young to know everything. So, if you want to let him independent, you must monitor him from any dangerous things that can harm himself.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello friend, I think about it dear,he is really growing up. At first he doesn't want me to kiss him before he entered his room. So,before we leave home,he kissed me and tells me "mom don't kiss me when we're at school", he did admitted that,he is being teased by his classmates,so,we kissed each other before leaving home. And then,now,he doesn't want me to drop him to school...(wahhhh) I know someday he will be grown up...but i will be missing the baby treatment i am used to care for him. but,what can i do...he really needs to grow up. thanks for your response and happy mylotting always
• India
25 Nov 09
Time and tide waits for non LOL so rather than being wistful, enjoy the times as they come. You’ve at least had the good fortune of bringing up three children, I’ve only one son and he’s 10 and he’s already demanding to be treated like an adult. Not that I allow it all the time, but just sometimes I do give in to see how he manages it…like I do allow him to go to nearby shops alone and from next year, he’ll be returning alone from the bus stop after school. I’m sure we wont lose our kids, that’s never possible…only we need to move along with them judiciously so that they allow us into their lives at all stages.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello friend, It just makes me sad to think that all my kids were grown ups and that,someday soon will be having their own family. I am happy and grateful that i am a proud mother of 3 healthy kids,and they have grown to be really healthy and also good(thu sometimes my second son is having difficulties adjusting on his teenage life,without a father to support and give him a father image on this adulthood stage),since he is too shy to open some matters with me.With my daughter i don't have any problem dealing with. Thanks for your response and have a good day always
@AMcMahan (38)
• United States
25 Nov 09
Boys tend to go through this sooner than girls. My thoughts on this are to let him go. He will eventually realize that he still needs mom and dad, just not as much. Also, make time to have mom and son time. Find something he likes and spend quality mom/son time with him. If he likes shooting hoops, take him and go shoot hoops at the local park or gym. I have a 20 year old son and a 13 year old daughter and I still take time out one day a week to do something he likes(without her) and another day to do something she likes(without him). Then you have the quality time with him to find out exactly why he is feeling this way. He is however old enough to go to school himself. Just take things one day at a time and you will be closer than he realizes. Also continue to field trips and school functions with him and that will show him how much you really care without making him feel like a "baby". Good luck and I hope this helps.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
Hello AMcMahan, Yah,i have observe about that,my eldest daughter is now 16 but my second son who just turned 14 is much much more matured than the eldest one. That is maybe one reason why my youngest son also is acting like he is a grown up now. Well,my second son wants to do things on his own,go out with his friends,unlike my daughter who is a homebody and only loves to read books and listen to her favorite songs. While my youngest son,still playing with his playmates and still shares bed with me(thu he has his own bed,he still prepared to sleep with me,sometimes with his sister which he is much closer than to his brother) I guess he wants to sleep alone in his bed now that he tells me that he is old enough...(that i don't think he can do...hahaha) Thanks for your response and have a good day always